Perth Street Bikes - Blogs http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/ Perth Street Bikes, Perths Online motorcycling community en Sun, 07 Sep 2008 07:56:41 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/redbar/misc/rss.jpg Perth Street Bikes - Blogs http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/ The restaurant http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/572-restaurant.html Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:23:39 GMT I’m annoyed. Deeply annoyed. I went to a little Italian restaurant for dinner tonight, nothing new there, but tonight I was treated like a chump.... I’m annoyed.
Deeply annoyed.
I went to a little Italian restaurant for dinner tonight, nothing new there, but tonight I was treated like a chump. (Not much new there either).
I walked into the restaurant and asked for a table for one. I am sent to a table near the wall and I read the menu. I peruse the menu and decide what I would like. I look around for a waitress and notice a queue at the counter.
This is supposed to be one of the better restaurants in town, but strangely you had to walk up to the counter and order your food.
So I ask for bruscetta alla something for an entrée, a simple pasta dish for a main and two glasses of wine. I head back to my table to read the paper and wait.
Half an hour later my entre arrives, with my main course.
I’m like “what the”?

“Excuse me, um that is my main course and you just bought out my entre”.

“Yes, well you should have asked for us to hold this dish”.
“Hold that dish”? “But I’ve never had to ask for someone to hold my main course till after I finish my entre because generally you don’t get your main till after you eat your entre”.
“Well you need to tell us that you want them to come out separately, I can put it under the warmer for you if you really want to wait”.
“Well I can’t eat my main when I have an entrée to eat and it will go cold sitting on the table”.
“So you want me to put it in the warmer then”, she said in a condescending manner.
“That would be lovely” I replied.
I was amazed that a waitress would have the gall to talk down to me. I am a customer, (wearing pants and a business shirt).
This four foot arrogant paid servant is giving me grief for being in this restaurant!
Off she goes clearly annoyed that I have not co operated and I get stuck into my entre.
It was lovely, I was truly enjoying it.
I had just finished the bruscetta and was about to eat the salad when another waitress turns up with my pasta again.
This time I think, “bugger it” and I push my entre away and she puts my pasta in front of me.
One look at it tells me it has been in a warmer. Forget aldente, this is dehydrated yellow pasta that looks shocking. “Um, do you have a manager here”? I asked.
“Yes, why”?
“I’d like to speak with him please”.
“Certainly, would you like me to clear this plate”, she says meaning my entre plate still half full of food.
“Ar, no,”.
Over comes the manager, “You wished to speak to me”?
“Well, yea. I have been told by the waitress that I need to ask to have my main course come out after I finish my entre and though she politely offered to leave my main in the warmer, I’m not overly happy with that. I was wondering what other rules a first time consumer in your restaurant should know. You see I travel Australia for work and this is the first time I have ever been faced with a situation like this”.
“Sorry sir, if you don’t tell us that you would like them to come out separately, we naturally think there are two of you dining”.
“But that’s an entree and this is a main”, I say pointing at the two.
“Yes sir, perhaps you would like a fresh main” he says.
I look at the shrivelled pasta in front of me and say, “Yes, that would be nice. So about those rules, any more I should know about”?
“Err, no sir. Would you like me to take both plates”?
“Actually I would like to finish my entre if that’s ok”.
And I did.
The food was fantastic, but the staff were rude and annoying.

You think this is my rant?
No.
My rant is that without swear words the above script seems to lack punch.

The waitress was a fucked up midget cum dump and her manager was a limp dick faggot guido, but I was determined to write a rant without swearing.
How stupid am I? ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/572-restaurant.html im a newbie http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/aaron19/571-im-newbie.html Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:18:29 GMT hey bikers, i need help clocking up 25 hours in my log book to get my R-E licence. Can anyone help me out? ^_^ hey bikers, i need help clocking up 25 hours in my log book to get my R-E licence. Can anyone help me out? ^_^ ]]> aaron19 http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/aaron19/571-im-newbie.html Back to bikes http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/shortfuse/570-back-bikes.html Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:23:39 GMT I have only recently returned to the world of motorcycles. I say world, because compared to that other planet that people live on, Planet Boredom,... I have only recently returned to the world of motorcycles. I say world, because compared to that other planet that people live on, Planet Boredom, the motorcycle lifestyle is in a world of its own. When I left, it was probably for my own good. In my young and naive efforts to experience the absolute essence of motorbikes, I went down a two wheeled path to self destruction, but that is a long story that best remains in the past.

So, I took a self imposed break. Over the years, I had amassed quite a collection of bikes, and I tested my resolve by selling them off. ’78 Z1000. Sold. ’73 Ironhead Sporty. Sold. ’96 Superglide. Sold. And, the bike that my best mate was killed on, and I had since restored, his ’90 Fatboy. Sold. I hoped that one would break my heart. Still no emotion. Yep. I was done, and I became a recluse for quite a few years, only venturing out for family and very close friends.

As the years ticked by, I would watch my mates on their bikes. They were supportive of my change in lifestyle, although they didn’t understand my reasons, and never asked. It offended them when they would offer me a bike to ride and I would decline. Eventually, there were no more offers. I looked on in silence as they would regale in stories of the road, of their adventures and misadventures. It got to the stage where I would no longer offer my my once valued opinion on customisation and share my experience on such subjects as performance and mechanicals. I didn’t want to be “that” guy. You know the one. He’s the one at parties who wont shut up about what he used to ride. How great a rider he used to be. How he knows so much about bikes, but doesn’t ride. The “has been.”. I had chosen to turn my back on every aspect of bikes.

Then one day, as quickly as my passion had died, it ignited again. It damn near exploded inside me. Bikes were no longer just a reminder of my own misgivings, but living, breathing, pulsing objects of fascination and desire. I went straight home and announced to the wife. “I’m getting another bike.”

Now you need to understand that I had been without a bike for many years, and in that time, had shown not even the slightest interest in them. No bike magazines, no MotoGP on pay-tv, not even a sideways glance at the thumping machine that had just split traffic and was champing at the bit next to me, waiting for the lights to go green. My announcement was met with slightly more than a little confused uncertainty. It didn’t matter to me. Everything was crystal clear, like High Definition television, only I could breathe it in, smell it, and feel it. She saw the look in my eyes and knew that I was serious. I’m sure she was happy for me, but was hoping that I didn’t return to my selfish and destructive ways. To her, I had come such a long way and for a few years there, I would have agreed, but once the fire was burning again, I realised how stale I had become. It wouldn’t have mattered if she objected anyway.

I had no idea what sort of bike I wanted, but I wanted something that scared me a little but at the same time felt like a good friend that would get me home, no matter what. I had had retro jappa’s, stock Harley’s, custom Harleys, even a show/drag bike, but I wanted something, um, else. But what bike did I want?

I jumped in my old bunky Landcruiser and set out to poke around the bike shops.
I was like a kid in a candy store. A middle aged man with eyes like saucers, and a heart beating like a redlining two-stroke. My eyes scanned the assortment of temptations, parked in a manner that only bike shops have mastered, and I found myself drifting over and past the big cruisers, completely past the dirt bikes and quads, and settling on some of the newer remakes of classics like Bonneville, Thruxton, and Kwaka Z. As I walked around these fine specimens, admiring the build quality and reminiscing of my experiences on the original conception, my eyes kept darting across to the hyper sports bikes. At first, I dismissed the attraction as merely a curiosity, but, curiosity demands at least a look and I found myself sitting astride one of these beasts looking at the tacho in disbelief. It redlines WHERE? Had I really been away from bikes that long? I must have looked like a potential customer though because the salesman came over and introduced himself.

Now, I have dealt with car salesmen and come away feeling like I need to be degreased. This guy was completely different. He spoke to me as a fellow motorcyclist. He had a passion for these machines, and wanted to share his experience with me. We made small talk about EFI this, and carbon fibre that, slip-ons and slipper clutches. I had no idea what he was talking about. My heart was thumping in my chest and I felt nauseous. "Hmmm, a sports bike?" Surely not. I told him I was just having a bit of a look, and explained that I was in the market for a bike, but even I didn’t know what sort I wanted. He went and got the keys.

That day, I rode everything that was available for test.. I went to every bike shop I could. My anxiety gave way to alertness. My tenseness subsided into comfort, and I could concentrate on what I liked and didn’t like about each example I rode. Sports bikes, cruisers, tourers, naked, and back to sports bikes. 600’s, 750’s, 900’s, 1000’s, 1100’s, 1200’s, 1300’s. I was in Heaven. Motorcycle nirvana.

The breed and style of motorcycle that I took home with me on that day is not important here, but what I rode home with is. I rode home that afternoon with a worldwide family of motorcyclists. I rode home with the piece of my soul that I had misplaced all those years ago.

Oh, and my bike still scares me every time I take it out, yet feels like an old friend who will get me home, no matter what. ]]> Shortfuse http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/shortfuse/570-back-bikes.html Revenge is a dish best served cold. http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/569-revenge-dish-best-served-cold.html Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:33:31 GMT So I get off the plane in Melbourne with a six and a half hour stop over. What to do? Melbourne has great Chinese food, so it would only be... So I get off the plane in Melbourne with a six and a half hour stop over.

What to do?
Melbourne has great Chinese food, so it would only be right to get myself a good feed.

Into the heart of Melbourne I trek.
A bus ride and a walk later I am in the heart of china town.
There is a little restaurant I like called “china inn”. It has great BBQ pork and fantastic hananeise chicken rice.
Divine.
I walk for about two k’s to get a feed of this heavenly cuisine, I am not disappointed!
I wolf down a fat-inducing meal of taste bud overload Chinese and I’m off.
What has this to do with revenge you might ask.
Nothing really, it was just a really good feed of Chinese.
I climb on the bus back to the plane, an uneventful trip really. (Well, there is a guy who looks like someone I know on the bus and I have missed the two busses I had planned to catch because I was drinking with locals, but anyhow).
I rock up to Melbourne airport at 8pm ready to board an airplane to come home.
Home.
How I miss home.
Anyhow. (This is a drunken story, can you tell)?
I had grabbed a window seat at the back of the plane when I booked. None of the front seats were available, but I wanted a window.
From the two years of travelling I have noticed that the rear seats on the plane are reserved for people with kids.
I got no issue with that, most of the time it is quite quiet, with most people able to chill the kids out, or the kids being nice and quiet.
Not this time.
From the moment we boarded the kid in front of us screamed.
The parents seemed to be oblivious at first.
Then as the child screamed for each parent they would respond.
I was dismayed.
I thought that the parents would be able to control their child to some degree, but not these.
Each time the child screamed for something they gave it.
Once they realised the child was not going to stop screaming they threatened the child with violence.
How the fuck do you think you can get away with threatening violence to a child on an airplane?
How are you going to smack your child?
There is not enough room to stretch your arms let alone beat a problematic sprog dump.
Yet they threatened.
By the time my “swipe your card to watch the" movie started everyone was looking at them.
They had the child that would be the catalyst for the journey home.
The children around us had started to sook just as the child in front did.
Each time the child in front whined so did the other fucking lambs.
More threats, more cries, more threats to smack its arse, more cries.
For fuck sake, hit it, slap it, punch it, ask the hostess to stick it in the bin. Just shut the fucker up!
A whole plane load of children are watching, a whole plane load of people waiting.
Finally quiet. Finally peace.
An hour of fucked up whining when it hits me.
I had about five hours in Melb.
I had not only nice Chinese, but nice beer.
Lots of nice beer.
I like beer.
I walked for about five hours, each time I passed a pub I would grab a pint.
If you could see my spelling pre posting you would know I am writing this pissed.
Anyhow.
I nearly missed the plane due to Carlton draught.
Bloody Carlton draught you might think!
But no.
I boarded the plane and continued on my merry beer consumption way.
After sitting in the seat, when the child first cried I pulled out my pen and made stabbing motions.
The kind of stabbing motions that would be accompanied by the music(?) from “Psycho”.
“Rreek. Rreek, Rreek”
Everybody around me laughed.
We all could see this satanic child for what he was.
A flight destroyer.
Raised by retards to annoy the world.
No lamb shanks on the menu, I have sandwiches.
The plane is finally peaceful.

For nearly six hours I have been drinking beer.
I ate Chinese food.
I had to burp.
It was a small one, I smelt it and realised its potential.
(You know where I am going don’t you)?
I looked around the plane at each of the people that had been annoyed at not only the child, but the parent’s inability to control this satanic creature and I had an idea.
I burped again, this time a little bigger.
Toxic.
And again, only this time I kept my mouth closed. My cheeks puffed at the pressure, but my lips never unsealed.
I leant forward, AND BETWEEN THE SEATS I GENTLY BLEW, RELEASING THE TOXIC BBQ PORK CHICKEN RICE WIND into the row in front of me.
The row of the demonic child, (let's call him Damian).
No one moved.
I leant back and continued to Watch my movie. (Iron man).
Game on.
Damian was falling asleep by now.
Each time I had a burp bubble over I held it in my mouth to blow into the seat in front of me.
Each time I watched Damien’s fathers head turn and look at Damian.
As my BBQ pork burps fester to explosion I would pass them into the demons space with a smile on my face.
Each time father of Damian would look at his son.
He leant over to his wife and said something.
Her and Damian swapped seats.
The seat next to me was empty.
The guy two seats up had been in on the pen stabbing joke, time to bring him to the next level.
I pulled the pen out again, motioned for his attention, stabbed a couple of times as I burped into my mouth and then showed him I was burping between the seats.
He laughed.
My next big burp I leant over and placed carefully between him and the middle set.
Damien’s mum moved quickly.
Damian got the “have you poo'd your pants" pat and then we laughed.
The guys behind me figured out what was going and I got the thumbs up.
Damian was moved to his dads lap.
Each and every burp was quietly loaded into my mouth and gently blown into Damien’s peaceful space.
I watch Damien’s parents check his pants about ten times thinking he had shit his pants.
Thank you Chinese food.
These people who had not been interested in quietening their son until he could not be quieted spent the whole flight thinking he had shit himself because of my Chinese burps.
The two guys behind me and the guy in my row spent our flight watching movies and laughing each time I burped.
I developed a system where I would raise my hand, check that they were watching and then burp.
I think this is the best revenge I have ever had.
Harmless and justified....
...\/... ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/569-revenge-dish-best-served-cold.html 26th Aug. Mood: Chilled, mellow. http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/t-roy/568-26th-aug-mood-chilled-mellow.html Tue, 26 Aug 2008 05:34:25 GMT I have had my bike for few weeks now, im loving it, so much fun, just started to learn how to ride it. only been riding around Scarborough trying... I have had my bike for few weeks now, im loving it, so much fun, just started to learn how to ride it.

only been riding around Scarborough trying to keep away from busy area's but its still heaps of fun.
im trying to build up enough confidence to go on a newbie ride. then ill book my test.
finally found the helmet i want to get. yay! about fucking time. pity i need to get a credit card to get it off then net. soon enough i will be insuring my bike = $188 a month which is a bit shit atm but it wont take that long to go down :)

At the moment im just looking for people to ride around Scarborough, if anyone feel like just going for a back street cruise and lives in Scarborough i will be keen just drop me a pm.

Tattoo:
planning to get a massive tree on my back, something like an autumn tree with no leaves, half the tree will be melting and the other half will be dissolving into the sky. just an idea.:rolleyes:
for when i have enough $$ to buy it.

PSB reached 1000000 post's yesterday, pretty cool.

Well lady's and Gentlemen thats it for today. till next time, take it easy ]]> T-roy http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/t-roy/568-26th-aug-mood-chilled-mellow.html Hmpff is sick! http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/566-hmpff-sick.html Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:17:05 GMT I'm curled up in bed sick looking at my laptop in boredom and i remembered how Trippa would come into my room when i was in bed to make sure i was ok.

I think she called me "hmpfff", coz everytime she came in she would say "hmpff". You know when someone wakes you up you kind of groan and breathe out your nose? I think that is what she called me.

She would walk into the room say "hmpfff" and sit in front of me. She would say "hungry" and then tap her tail on the floor like i would tap my foot on the floor when i was waiting for her. She was such a demanding bitch.

I would say "no fuck off" in my tired gumpy manner and wipe my face with my hand. You see if i said "go away" she would have left the room.

She would do a little Trippa dance and tap her toe nails on the floor to repeat the sound of the word hungry again. (This was the second word she learnt).

"Shut up Trippa".

She would bang her tail on the floor each time she heard her name. It always made me smile that she was happy when i said her name.
Sitting beside the bed she would put her right paw on the bed, look me in the eyes and wink.

"Alright", i would say, roll from my stomach to my left side and stretch out my lower arm.

She would jump gently onto the bed and lay on her side next to me, her head over my arm resting on my pillow.
I would put my right arm over her, between her front legs and she would snuggle into my body. Spooning.
She would fall asleep in my arms quite quickly and gently snore.

That always made me smile too. It reminded me of how i would fall asleep each night when i lived at home to my fathers nightly roar. So loud you could hear it from the letter box.

Trippa always made me smile. Anywhere i went she would come. She came to rock concerts, fireworks, mates houses, even showed up at the WNR and the FNR, where she would dutifully wait on her towel/mat and watch the interactions of the people around her. She would find pats and snacks and friends. She was a good dog, well behaved and my best friend.

Now here i am sick for the first time in a long time, she is gone and i miss her.
I miss her antics, i miss her games, i miss her company when i am flat.
I'll never forget watching her walk out the front door to play with the kids. It was what she did so often.
I understand why someone would want to take her.
She was an exceptionally well trained pitbull. Animal actor level.

Every year i would teach her a minimum of two new tricks.
I digress.

I miss her right now because i am lonely and i am sick. Totally selfish reasons i know, but she was my daughter and i miss her.
She was my bitch.

I hope the people who took her are looking after her.
I hope they realise that she is a very well trained dominant dog and she will push for a "NO".
I hope they understand the hours and hours and hours of training that went into making her the character she is.

I miss her.
I miss her cuddles.
I miss taking her to the park to play on the swings.
I miss our games.

I hope you are safe Trippa.
I miss you.


I hate being sick. ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/566-hmpff-sick.html Monkeys. http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/560-monkeys.html Wed, 30 Jul 2008 03:05:16 GMT Quick history of the monkey. *God/Aliens sent Adam the first human into the world.* Image:... Quick history of the monkey.
God/Aliens sent Adam the first human into the world.



He of course got eve from a rib and bred a few boys that strangely enough had families. Perhaps they bred with the monkeys.
The monkeys were a naturally self destructive mob.
They invented ways to kill.



and became quite adapt at doing it.



This frightened many of the monkeys in the world.



But the watchers of the world stood but and did nothing.



They had there reasons.



and their own protection.



Unfortunately they may never stop.
They rasie their young on video games.



and subversive music ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/560-monkeys.html Well, here I am http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/jackdaniel/559-well-here-i-am.html Wed, 30 Jul 2008 02:00:39 GMT
Sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

Moving back to Perth soon after a 3 year absence.

Looking for some friends out there to ride with, as most of my old ridding buddies have "grown up" (read: booring) and sold thier bikes.

I'll probably be living in the Atwell region, but will go anywhere for a good ride.

I'm happy to take a pillion on rides as well, so If your currently bikeless or your partner only has a single seat - let me know, and we can try and sort something.

My email is spanishdancingllamas@hotmail.com ]]> jackdaniel http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/jackdaniel/559-well-here-i-am.html Incompetant fools http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/the-godfather/558-incompetant-fools.html Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:17:09 GMT for frigg sake! Is the entire world flammin useless. I mean, how many brain cells does it take to class yourself as a human. I am astounded by the... for frigg sake! Is the entire world flammin useless. I mean, how many brain cells does it take to class yourself as a human. I am astounded by the stupidity of people. Is there any intellegent people out there?

I think not! ]]> THE GODFATHER http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/the-godfather/558-incompetant-fools.html The maid! http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/557-maid.html Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:09:46 GMT There was a knock at the door about ten minutes ago. I figured it would be the cleaners after the same thing happening around this time yesterday. ... There was a knock at the door about ten minutes ago.
I figured it would be the cleaners after the same thing happening around this time yesterday.

My apartment is climate controlled at 25 degrees so i wander around in my boxers, watching fox and chatting here.
I wandered over to the door just as i did yesterday and opened it up hiding partly behind it.

There stood a little tubby old lady, "You want anything today"?
"Sure", i said, "gimme a sec to get dressed".

Yesterday it was a fella, a fella who kind of smiled in a funny way when he noticed a half naked man in front of him.
I pulled on some jeans as the door opened.

"Are you decent"? Said the little old lady.
"Yea come in". I replied as i pulled my jeans up.

Behind the little old lady was a six and a bit foot tall fit looking blonde chick.
As our eyes met we both blushed. I was at the darker end of the room.

"Did we wake you up this morning"? Said the blonde.
"No. Not today, yesterday the fella at the door noticed i was half naked and let his eyes wander all the place".

Both ladies laughed.

My eyes barely left the blonde, there was some serious sex appeal about this woman.

They cleaned the apartment, made the bed, even put the dishes away while we chatted.
I mentioned i wanted to wash some clothes, so the blonde gave me some washing powder free of charge. It was as though she wanted to stay a bit longer.
I have the biggest smile on my face.

As they were leaving i said "Will you be back tomorrow?"
The blonde said "Yes, about the same time ok?"
"Of course, i should be up", I replied.
"We could always start from the other end, but you would still be asleep", she said with a grin.
"I dont mind if you wake me up, but i sleep naked", i purred looking her in eyes.
Her head tilted to the side, her smile grew, her eyes sparkled, she gently nodded as she turned and walked out the door.

Definately a good thing in life. ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/557-maid.html The sweaty bum crack dillema http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/556-sweaty-bum-crack-dillema.html Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:56:42 GMT I have a hangover.
I didn't drink any alcohol last night.
I think i gassed myself!
My bottom smells.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuddy View Post
why have you got a smelly bum XS?
The food here (in Griffith NSW) is all italian. As much as i like italian food it makes me fart.
The flavour and spices in the rich italian food make it taste divine, but fail to fade prior to being released in gas form and reintoduced through my nostrils. (I cant help but inhale, grade and search for the "flavours" in each dense, cloudy bomb).
Add the farts to the settling in period for my stomach and i produce very sloppy poo and skid marks.
Sloppy poo and skid marks in the toilet bowl i can live with, i even scrub them free.
But skid marks in my jocks is a whole new problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxo View Post
do i sense another toilet paper rant?
Actually, the problem is more that i am a "FAT BASTARD" now.
I weigh 95kg.
95kg of fat arse means sweaty bum crack.
Though it makes me uncomfortable i can live with sweaty bum crack.
I mean what choice do i have?
The sweaty bum crack dilemma is much more unattractive than just a wettish stripe in my boxer shorts. Even worse than having to pick my sweat soaked boxers out of my fat bum while smiling at a client.
Even the chance of crack sweat-rash is not as frightening as the problem i am faced with.
Sweaty bum crack AND skid marks.
I dont know that i should draw the picture in your heads. But a single stripe or even a group of parrallel lines will only remain that way if given a chance to dry in their natural state. Once you add any quantiy of moisture or liquid the result in infinately different.
The lines blur.
The definition fades.
The result is a kind of brown shading throughout the crutch area of your boxers.
It is seriously unattractive!
I feel sorry for my nuts, so i've joined the gym. ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/556-sweaty-bum-crack-dillema.html Irrational fear http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/554-irrational-fear.html Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:04:06 GMT Waking in the dark, confused, trying to sit up and banging my head. The limited movement of my arms as my hands feel for something to tell me where i... Waking in the dark, confused, trying to sit up and banging my head. The limited movement of my arms as my hands feel for something to tell me where i am. Banging my elbows and my knees. Feeling nothing but hard surface all around me.

Calling out. The echo of my voice muffled.
My breathing speeds up as fear sets in.

Using my hands i touch all the surfaces around me, they are cool and damp.
In frustration i kick, the sound is a deep thud. I kick again, the same deep thud.

I scratch with my nails, "it's wood".
My hands search the surface for something, anything. Nothing but the cool damp surface and corners.
"I'm in a box". "HELP". The sound echo's but seems to go nowhere.
I smack the wood infront of me with me palms, there is no give, no movement. I bash the sides, same.
I panic.
I kick, i knee, i smack. No give, no movement.
In the limited space i have i thrash till exhausted.
I cry out "NO!" and i sob.
As my tears flow i start to scratch at the wood.
I scratch till my nails are no more and then i scratch some more.
My fingers feel wet and seem to tingle, but i am determined to scratch my way out, it's all i can do to survive.
My breathing is now laboured, but i will not give up.
Slowly it becomes harder to scratch, harder to breathe and eventually i fall asleep.
My last sleep.
I have run out of oxygen.
I die in a coffin, buried alive. ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/554-irrational-fear.html Spank http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/553-spank.html Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:16:09 GMT I went to "Spank"
A BDSM (fetish) party on Saturday night.
Oh my god it was good.
People upstairs in the play room being tied to wooden objects and spanked.
People in rubber suits, restrictive face masks. Piles of hot hot hot women in police or nurses uniforms. Hot hot hot chicks being led on chains, (some by other hot hot hot chicks).
It was so surreal.
Awesome music and a world of hedonism.
My mate put a (kind of dog) collar on me to let them all know i was hers and i roamed. Trying desperately not to hump legs i found my heart rate accelerated by the sexual freedom displayed.
The collar made me non threatening, a submissive, (which i am told i am not), so i was accepted.
I milked it.
I danced with near bare breasted honey, was checked out by goddesses and taken to corners for conversation by girls i would have deemed out of my league.
I remained sober so as not to soil their clothes with my drool.

There were full figured large breasted ladies strapped tightly into leather corsets, boobs spilling over the top, waists i could wrap my hands around, strutting like they owned the world. Girls who could grace the pages of mens magazines on collars and leads being told what to do, where to stand (or kneel, heads bowed) and when and what to drink. Tight muscular girls bare arses bent over benches being slapped with camel bites, not moving with the blows, welts rising on their skin clearly displaying the depth of passion for the lives they live. Whips, cat-o-nine-tails, riding crops and paddles. All tools of "play" being used in jest as people enjoyed an alcohol based social environment. (NO alcohol is used nor accepted in play).

There was a burlesque stage show, but it paled in comparison to the assembled crowd and the way they lived life.

A life i am just begining to comprehend but struggle to understand.

A life of far greater adventure than mine, filled with wonderful educated people.

A life i will never live, but one i happily be a witness to in the hope of understanding.

GTIL: Growth though understanding and the adventures it brings.


Quote:
SPANK! - PERTH'S KINKIEST DRESS-UP NIGHT
FETISH DANCE PARTIES WITH COSTUMES, ENTERTAINMENT, DUNGEON AND LOTS OF FLIRTING!

We like the fluffy side of fetish so you won't see anything gory at our parties - but there is a dungeon for those of you who like to indulge in light BDSM play. What you get is a classy art-deco venue full of beautifully twisted people dressed up to the nines in fantasy, fetish or goth outfits - a crowd that's friendly, sexy and more than a little different to your average Joe.
See Gallery for all party pics in glorious technicolour.
NEXT PARTY: 'OBEDIENCE SCHOOL' - OUR ONE & ONLY FETISH PARTY FOR 2008
Date : Sat 28 June, 2008
Venue: Gilkisons Dance Studio, 45 Murray Street, Perth
Music: Dark 'n' twisted electro, tech & house. DJ Tintin (Whipping House & Kinkky, UK), DJ NeedleNurse, DJ Brad
Time: 9pm - 4am
Tickets: No price rise from last year! Earlybird $35 + booking fee (till 15 Jun), then $45 + bf, $55 on the door
From: Planet Video, Mame Clothing / Burlesque Baby (567 & 575 Wellington St), Ron Reid Hairdressing,
Libido Adult Store (97 James St), FleshFetish (396 Oxford Street, Mount Hawthorn.
Featuring: Dungeon with new furniture to tease & torture on!
Floorshows: Fyredanz presents: 'FlameFetish', Sugar Blue Burlesque presents 'Marie Antoinette'
Podium dancers & roving performers, absinthe cocktails, fetish & burlesque stalls.
Dress code: Strictly fetish, fantasy or goth. Think 'obedience': subdom(me), military, medical, schoolies/teacher, BDSM,
equestrian, lords & maids, secretarial, police, burlesque... or just your fave fetish / fantasy outfit. Surprise us.
Outfits: Try Mame Clothing (Gothic Clothing, Corsets, Goth Shoes, Goth Makeup, Gothic Clothes - Mame Clothing), Burlesque Baby (Burlesque & Pin-up Clothing | Burlesque Baby), Libido Adult Store,
FleshFetish latexwear, Miss Honey's Toybox, or Perth's best fancy dress shop at 235 Stirling Hwy, Claremont
(prettywomanandwilliam.com.au).
Also: In-house staffed cloakroom, outside smoking area.
Rules: No outfit, no entry! 18+ required, ID's checked on entry. Sorry, no sex or nudity. No cameras / camerafones
(official Spank photographer will be present). Have fun but show respect to your fellow partygoers.
Right of admittance reserved.
AND NO PERVES - OFFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR WILL RESULT IN YOUR BEING THROWN OUT!
]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/553-spank.html Trippa. http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/551-trippa.html Sun, 22 Jun 2008 03:49:33 GMT There is no denying it was her, the loping run, wagging tail, even the lopsided grin was visible. She was running at the head of a group of small... There is no denying it was her, the loping run, wagging tail, even the lopsided grin was visible.
She was running at the head of a group of small dogs.
I felt my heart lift as she ran toward me. “It’s my Trippa”, i called out.
I started running down the hill toward her, there was a smaller hill between us. My legs stumbled under my weight, my determination to hug my girl keeping me afloat.
She had heard my voice and started sprinting, so did i.
It was all so “Sound of music”.
I lost sight of her as i ran through the small valley and as i crested the hill she was gone.
They were all gone.
“NO!” I cried out.
I looked in all directions, started searching the ground. I knew she was here, i could feel her.
I looked to my left, there was an opening in the ground just next to a small shrub, not really a hole, not really a cave.
I stepped closer and i could see her face.
Her right eye had a cloud over its pupil.
I dug around her and pulled her out.
She had blood around her tail, all over her body and around her head.
She had what looked like a bullet hole behind her left ear.
I pulled her tight and she started licking my chin.
“I’m sorry” she said, “I love you”.
I woke up and cried. ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/551-trippa.html I was a fool. http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/550-i-fool.html Sat, 21 Jun 2008 11:50:11 GMT I was a fool. I made a dumb decision. It was dark, the road looked straight, it had a broken white line. The truck i was following traveled just... I was a fool.
I made a dumb decision.
It was dark, the road looked straight, it had a broken white line.
The truck i was following traveled just below the limit.
I wanted to go "home" and change.
I was hungry.
I had been experimenting with the manual shift in the 2008 automatic Lancer i was driving.
I had just come off a very muddy track where the stability control had worked overtime.
This was the first time i had seen stability control in action on a very slippery mud ridden track.
I hate it, i felt like i was fighting the car.
I dont think i like the car anymore.
I accelerated toward the truck looking around it to the road in front.
It was a road train.
I indicated and moved to overtake.
I passed the first carriage, then it happened.
It turns out the road slightly bent to the left.
The lights in front of me appeared out of nowhere.
I was half way up the front trailer.
No time to stop.
"Oh fuck, i'm dead".
I push down on the accelerator, slide the shifter to the side and shift the gearbox down.
Too far.
I hit the rev limiter.
"Fuck"
Up two.
I hold my breath, I love you mum.
Straight at the headlights i drive, nothing to lose.
My stomach tightens, my breath stops. I am dead.
I look left, the bullbar passes the front door. The lights in front are blinding, i have to make the move.
I slip in front of the truck, meters to spare, feeling stupid.
I know better.
I risked lives with my impatience.
Not just death, but having to live with the thought they had killed me.
They did not, woulld not have, but how would they have faired?
It was my fault, my stupidity.
I am sorry Mr Truck drivers.
I made a dumb decision.
I was a fool. ]]> XSorXpire http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/blogs/xsorxpire/550-i-fool.html