Funny Messages

[djnitrous]

Mary's lamb had foot & mouth her cow had BSE but mary was a kinky slut and gave them H.I.V

Jack and Jill went up the hill 2 fetch a
pale of water, we dont know what they did up there
but they came back with a daughter

if i was a flower would you pick me, if i was a lolly would you lick me, if i asked you nicely would you fuck me?

[djnitrous]

A banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana says to vibrator 'I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna f**king EAT me!'

[djnitrous]

what does a pizza delivery boy & a gynecologist have in common?....
They can both smell it but not eat it.


I REALLY WANNA GIVE U A HUG... But a hug leads 2 a kiss, a kiss leads to a lick, a lick leads 2 a suck, a suck leads 2 a fuck... DO U WANT A HUG?

[djnitrous]

MUM:didnt i tel u if a guy touches ur boobs say DONT! nd if he touches ur pussy say STOP! GIRL:but mum he touched both so i sed DONT STOP!!!

[djnitrous]

CHINESE SUNDAY
BUFFET MENU:
*CHU SUM TWAT
*SUCK MI PORK
*LICK MI CLIT
*TUNGSUM CHICK
*GOO IN HAND
*GULP SUM KUM
*CHO KON IT
ENJOY YOUR MEAL!

[djnitrous]

*NEWSFLASH* Snow White has been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported to have pulled up her skirt, sot on Pinocchio's face and shouted "LIE BASTARD LIE"

[Dragon]

HAHA, you go dude!

Jack n Jill went up the hill,
both with a buck an' a quarter,
Jill came down with two fifty,
that bloody whore...

[Dubs]

dragon......

Mother goose, remember her.... I FUCKED HER!!!! oooohhhhh



:twisted:

the dice man commeth

[Dragon]

Big W...
Yeah, Andrew Dice Clay da one

[djnitrous]

You love it, maybe I will get some more for you dudes to read

[Gordo]

Shit Dj you really are bored aren't you ???

Hey I popped round to you place but you weren't home !!! so i'll catch ya another time .....

Has your pin had it's first service yet ??

[djnitrous]

No, first service in 12mth time

[Flakey]

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a
publicschool teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

******************

There's this couple doing some work in the garden and the wife stops to go up and take a shower....so the guy is looking for the rake and yells to his wife, who looks out to the upstairs bathroom window, "Where's the rake?" She can't hear him, so he makes raking motions. "What?" she yells. So he goes through the whole routine again. She nods like she gets it and then points to her eye, squeezes her left breast, slaps her ass and then rubs her crotch. Her husband is somewhat confused, but totally aroused, so he quickly goes in the house, up the stairs, and into the bathroom. "What did you say?" She says, "I said: eye, left tit, behind, the bush."

B-)