Cultural Differences - What would you have done?

[Gippo]

Man it was hot yesterday, so I took the little family to the pools.

At the pools I kept my little girl less than a meter away and we had a great time with some of her waterproof toys. This was a mistake because every kid within “cooee” wanted them too - 2 year olds have no concept of sharing.

But no bother, played on trying to explain what sharing was at every opportunity.

Soon after a 4 year old African child comes over and snatches the toys away with no fear of retribution. Again no bother to me as I explained what sharing was then asked the other child to play nicely. He promptly growls at me like a lion and sent the toys for a six!

Of course I can’t help myself but growl back with a quiet but deep lion roar and he was amused almost smiling. “Ok kid it’s all good, me man, you boy”. Growling like a lion at an unknown 4 year old was a rare and fun moment and he then went on his way.

The child wonders off only to repeat his snatch and ditch to every other child in the pool. The anger generated in some parents was interesting to watch and I found it amusing. I got out and explained to a few parents that he’s just having fun and a lion growl gets him on side. I did this because I could see the racism bubbling to the surface and the child reminded me of an Afri-Carib best friend I have.

One male parent however gets fed up and snatched a toy back off him rather aggressively which causes him to get pulled under water. It was excessive but given the circumstances and the repetition of the child actions, nobody even glances.

That is until his mother arrives in a fit of anger accusing the parent of abusing her child. It gets heated and I felt obliged to intervene. I wonder over and distract her from the other parent, who promptly makes a bee line for the other end of the pool and vanishes into the sea of heads.

I go on to explain that he is a lovely child but is getting some parents offside by snatching toys. I then rant on about how he would do much better if he asked to share before he touches them. She settles and is warming to the conversation.

I finish with a rant about how in Australian culture they stay close to children when they are in the water. She closes off at this point saying the child is only 4 years old and that the other parent is not an Australian.

I stop there and excuse myself as I realise its time to leave.

Dididoitrite?

[Twigs]

In Australia, being so close the water and everyone having access to it- I think we understand the dangers of water and small children.
Personally- I think you did the right thing letting her know that we stay close to young children. Whether or not she wanted to hear it or not- I think it was something that had to be said.

[Mo-Fo]

Dididoitrite?

Yep. You can't get agro with a 4yr old like that other guy did, that's not on. Besides, the kid was probably throwin his weight around coz he know's he's got the biggest dick in the pool.

[greggo]

I only hope I can develop your elite level of patience before I have a family.

Well done sir, I salute you with a polite short round of stately applause.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

[Bukefal]

......
I finish with a rant about how in Australian culture they stay close to children when they are in the water.
......

i know you had good intentions, but by saying 'in Australia, ....' you're inviting trouble. she probably interpreted it as: 'i don't know what stupid country you come from, but over here we look out for our kids'. it can be quite patronising. her being too dumb to watch her kid around water isn't a cultural issue; it's a personal one.

[dr00]

sounds to me like you let him walk all over you. i think the other father did the right thing by introducing a consequence for behaving like a dickhead. the kid has to learn how the world works at some point.

[filbert]

i know you had good intentions, but by saying 'in Australia, ....' you're inviting trouble. she probably interpreted it as: 'i don't know what stupid country you come from, but over here we look out for our kids'. it can be quite patronising. her being too dumb to watch her kid around water isn't a cultural issue; it's a personal one.

Also extremely racist to assume that she was from somewhere else just because she looked different. Everyone else was purely reacting to a child's obnoxious behaviour race didn't come into it, Gippo was too busy racial profiling so he could best apply his prejudices and make allowances for what he saw as cultural deficiencies.
Ain't it funny how trying to claim the moral high ground can be turned around like that prejudice is prejudice whether positive or negative

[McGoo]

Also extremely racist to assume that she was from somewhere else just because she looked different. Everyone else was purely reacting to a child's obnoxious behaviour race didn't come into it, Gippo was too busy racial profiling so he could best apply his prejudices and make allowances for what he saw as cultural deficiencies.
Ain't it funny how trying to claim the moral high ground can be turned around like that prejudice is prejudice whether positive or negative

Perhaps he assumed she was from another county because she spoke with an accent?

[Maxo]

Growling like a lion at an unknown 4 year old was a rare and fun moment and he then went on his way.

I see.

Guess you had to be there.


So to clarify, the mother was australian, the father wasn't, and the kid was born here? So he wasn't african.

Sounds more like a behavioural issue than a cultural one. Perhaps he has aspergers and needs to be put on severe medication.

[Pixie]

I know a fair few of the pools now, have a policy that, a child under the age of 5, has to be with a parent at all times when in the pool.

If the kid is only 4 years old, he should have had a parent with him anyway! It doesn't matter what culture the child came from, a pool isn't really the time and place to be letting your child run riot. That's not even going into the whole 'discipline' argument...

[Para045]

I know a fair few of the pools now, have a policy that, a child under the age of 5, has to be with a parent at all times when in the pool.

If the kid is only 4 years old, he should have had a parent with him anyway! It doesn't matter what culture the child came from, a pool isn't really the time and place to be letting your child run riot. That's not even going into the whole 'discipline' argument...

+1 Actually the pools I've been to recently state kids must have adult supervision at all tomes until they are 10 years old That means actually in the pool with the kids or close by the pool, not sitting 50m away drinking coffee like some parents do

Maybe you would have just been better of getting a staff member/life guard involved as the woman was obviously too stupid to realise that the kid should have been under direct supervision at it's age and too ignorant to take well meant advice

[agrid]

My son is very tall. It used to be funny watching the "helicopter parents" at the pool come rushing over when the big kid started playing with theirs. Some chastised him for playing too rough and then asked us if he had a learning disability. We used to introduce him as "This is 'Joe', he's five" that way the conversation would be about how tall he was, not how mentally defective he was.

[Gippo]

i know you had good intentions, but by saying 'in Australia, ....' you're inviting trouble. she probably interpreted it as: 'i don't know what stupid country you come from, but over here we look out for our kids'. it can be quite patronising. her being too dumb to watch her kid around water isn't a cultural issue; it's a personal one.

With the benefit of hindsight I realised that I was in fact inviting trouble (even patronising) by touching on the "in Australian culture" comment. I assumed they were relatively new because the little boy never spoke and the mother had a very strong almost difficult to understand accent.

Fortunately she did take it as if I was trying to genuinely help. I do realise it wasn't the smartest comment to make, but I thought that surely many lifeguards had tried to reinforce the "stay close message" so I tried a different tact.

[Gippo]

I see.

Guess you had to be there.


So to clarify, the mother was australian, the father wasn't, and the kid was born here? So he wasn't african.

Sounds more like a behavioural issue than a cultural one. Perhaps he has aspergers and needs to be put on severe medication.

Hahahaha yer the lion thing was a "you had to be there" kinda moment.

Mother was African, child was African, father of this child was not present and the aggressive other father was European.

[Davey]

*whistles*

[JAFA]

Kid needs a good kick in the arse for being a dickhead, parent needs sterilising so their stupidness doesn't overrun the planet through further future offspring.

[meatbag]

Regardless of race, no one I know if will take parenting advice from a stranger nicely. It's an ego thing.

[Twigs]

Regardless of race, no one I know if will take parenting advice from a stranger nicely. It's an ego thing.

That's why kids are so fat- no one even listens to doctors anymore...
They have this "My Child Is Fine and I'm A Fantastic Parent." thing- that does more harm to kids than good.

[devolved]

I would have drowned him, than taken his cold corpse to his motherr and said something like "If you don't want this to happen to your next child, how about you pay some fucking attention to what they're up too!".

Usually works. Just make sure no-ones looking as you commit the offence as a long gaol term for murdering children can sometimes not make it worth the arse-ache.

*Note - this post is for comic relief only, and I do not encourage the murder of children under any circumstances.

[Rhinosaur]

Good job.
You acted.
Most wouldn't.

As for the racial insensitivity... i wouldn't stress. This IS Australia, however convoluted/borrowed/backward/awesome you think it is, we do have a general culture. If this isn't communicated somehow by established Australians, how are new Australians going to know?

It sounds like you did so very tactfully, so well done I say. I can't see a better way of handling it based on what you said. Removing the race issue may be PC, but it sounds like it was a factor.

Good job.