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Thread: The news.com.au fan thread

  1. #201
    Member russkigreg's Avatar
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    Naked man in trunk caught on Google camera

    Not quite news.com.au, but still very newsworthy, ninemsn...

  2. #202
    Moderator Barfridge's Avatar
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    This has just made my day!

    Twilight Saga star Bronson Pelletier attacked at Twilight convention | News.com.au

    I could not be happier right now
    In life you only get one lap, might as well make it a good one.

    Buy my stuff, everything now half price - http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/foru...woofer-144818/

  3. #203
    Member chief wiggum's Avatar
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    A 17-year-old village boy has been gang raped by 10 knife-wielding women in Papua New Guinea, police say.
    "More than 10 women with kitchen knives attacked him and four women had sexual intercourse with him".
    some 17 year olds would call this a dream come true. then again, i've seen png women look like, i coulda been nasty

    Boy gang-raped by 10 women at knifepoint in Papua New Guinea | News.com.au
    "I think she's kinda sweet...but she makes her living catching cum in her mouth and i'm sensing that's a problem with you"

  4. #204
    Member cowasaki's Avatar
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  5. #205
    Member The Saint's Avatar
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    A homeless youth look at models dressing underwear during National Underwear Day, an event organized by Brazilian fashion web site Finissimo in Brasilia, Tuesday, Feb. 9, 2010. (AP Photo/Eraldo Peres)
    Now that's just cruel.
    Quote Originally Posted by Melkor View Post
    The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

  6. #206
    Member Kickass Koolridge's Avatar
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    FEADCinc, PSB?

  7. #207
    Member Professor Redfern's Avatar
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    Sweet! no more jerking off to gilf mice porn.
    My mum always used to say, when life hands you lemons "kill mob within spell duration with a soul gem of adequate quality for the mob's level to trap its soul"

  8. #208
    Member Dr. Venkman's Avatar
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    Student wins $450K for 'mental pain' of being taught religion | News.com.au

    Lucky bastard

    Oklahoma women arrested for hiding stolen goods in rolls of body fat | News.com.au

    I feel sorry for the security guys, having to see what they stole and where it was hidden :

    HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    Somehow it's reassuring knowing that I'm not the only one pretending to be normal.









  9. #209
    Member Sprint's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

  10. #210
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    sweet

    Extremists welcome Qatar World Cup, predict Al-Qaeda takeover and Ronaldo kidnapping | News.com.au

    # Cristiano Ronaldo will be "kidnapped"
    # Qatar will be islamic "soon" claims Islamists
    # 2018 Russian bid "rigged" - UK press
    # Qatar: No drinking, no gays
    # Pictures: Ten moments that cost Aussie bid

  11. #211
    Uni
    Uni is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stavtech View Post
    sweet
    # Qatar will be Islamic "soon" claims Islamists
    Bahaha nice reporting there...
    Of further awesomeness to this story, their source for 'Islamic state' was a post by some dude on a random forum...
    ^WHS

  12. #212
    Moderator Barfridge's Avatar
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    Baby-snatch suspect critically injured | Perth Now

    Baby-snatch suspect critically injured
    A SUSPECTED armed robber is in a critical condition in hospital after holding up a man in Kwinana last night.

    Police say the pregnant woman approached a man outside the Kwinana Hotel in Meares Avenue about 8pm, told him that she had a weapon that could kill him, and demanded money.

    The man handed over a small amount of cash and the woman departed, accompanied by a male companion.

    About an hour later, police inquiring into the robbery discovered that the woman had been involved in another incident near the intersection of Challenger Drive and Newstead Crescent, in Parmelia, and as a result had suffered severe head injuries.

    ABC Radio reported that police believed the woman tried to snatch a baby from a car and was hit on the head with a baseball bat wielded by the baby's mother.

    She was taken to Fremantle Hospital where she is in a critical condition.

    Anyon with any information about this incident is asked to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.
    Classiest news story of the day, Kwinana never fails to deliver

    PS. Anyon else spot the typo? Go go professional standards!

  13. #213
    Member The Saint's Avatar
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    ABC Radio reported that police believed the woman tried to snatch a baby from a car and was hit on the head with a baseball bat wielded by the baby's mother.
    Quote Originally Posted by Melkor View Post
    The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

  14. #214
    Member Professor Redfern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Saintetron View Post
    Its important to have enthusiasms.


  15. #215
    Member HeyZeus's Avatar
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    http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news...-1225967410694


    A SWEDISH couple's attempt to make things more interesting in the bedroom ended with a man stabbed in the thigh and his girlfriend in police custody.
    Police believe alcohol may have contributed to the sexual mishap that began when a 47-year-man cut off his girlfriend's stockings with a knife, the Expressen newspaper said.

    He then handed her the blade and she attempted to slash through his underwear. But the encounter turned from pleasure to pain when the 36-year-old woman accidentally stabbed her lover in the thigh.

    "From what we understand, it was a sex act that went a bit wrong," a police spokeswoman said.

    The injured man was taken to a hospital in Vasteras, central Sweden, to be treated for blood loss, while his partner was initially arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault. But despite the cut, the man did not file formal charges.



    Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news...#ixzz17SxOqZ8v
    Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

  16. #216
    Member MadDocker's Avatar
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    Headline relates, but not like you think.

    http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/west...-1225967670149
    A man's dog can live on nothing but anger, the taste of its own balls and smaller dogs.

  17. #217
    Moderator Barfridge's Avatar
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    Tereringa Kayden Ashley Wetere, christ! An early death is almost a blessing, poor kid didn't stand a chance

  18. #218
    Member The Saint's Avatar
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    Give it up, Ricky Ponting: Mike Gatting | Perth Now

    Meanwhile, former spearhead Brett Lee says he has no plans to resurrect his Test career to provide some venom to Australia's ailing pace attack.

    Lee, 34, announced his Test retirement in February.
    As a spearhead I expect he would have taken quite a few Test wickets. How many has he taken, Peter Baden?

    He is the leading wicket-taker in the Ryobi Cup with 14 scalps from five matches at 18, including 5-47 against Western Australia a fortnight ago.
    That's nice. But how many Test wickets has he taken?

    Lee played his last Test against South Africa two years ago and ...
    Here it comes

    ... with Glenn McGrath (563) and Dennis Lillee (355), is one of three Australian quicks to have taken 300-plus Test wickets.
    Look - stop being obscure, just tell me HOW MANY TEST WICKETS BRETT LEE HAS TAKEN, PETER BADEN, YOU FUCK.

    "I certainly won't be putting the baggy green cap back on," Lee said.

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    18 comments on this story
    Oh you fucking cunt.

    RELEVANT FACTS REPORTING FAIL
    Quote Originally Posted by Melkor View Post
    The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

  19. #219
    Member Magilla's Avatar
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    The answer is 310 test wickets
    '====
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    -Magilla
    Putting a fresh install of Windows on the internet is like giving a nymphomaniac a job at an STD clinic and then slipping viagra into their coffee. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but trust me, it isn't.
    R class test passed - Eligible to shadow R-E 26/05/13, R 26/05/14

  20. #220
    Member The Saint's Avatar
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    Have you considered working for News Ltd? You seem to have the "x" factor they so sadly lack.

    Disclaimer: By "x factor" The Saintetron means a modicum of capability to conduct simple research prior to filing copy. The Saintetron does not intend "x factor" to mean interview technique, observance of journalistic ethics or an ability to write beyond a 7th grade level.
    Quote Originally Posted by Melkor View Post
    The Saint is all over the answer like a Saint on a cupcake.

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