Whats the dumbest thing you have done

[Bundera]

Ok, I have done some pretty dumb things over the years but I will limit this to recent events.

Today I was removing a couple of gate posts, solid jarrah too no doubt. Why bother digging them out when I have a perfectly good 4x4 in the driveway....

I hook up a tree trunk protector and snatch-em strap around the first one, couple of light tugs and out it comes. The second one decides to be a bit more difficult. About the 3rd gentle tug it moved a little. Ok, I need more revs , turns out that was a bad idea! The post snapped instead of easing out of the ground, then slingshotted back towards the car.... speared straight into my left headlight damaging the lens and pushing out the parking light. So pulling a little bit of wood out of the ground has now cost me about a grand

To make matters worse I had trouble getting it out of 4LOW after that... silly me forgot to put it in neutral, had to google it before I remembered.

OK, so who has any other funny stories where they tried doing something dodgy and ended up breaking things?

[Desmo]

A blonde I met about 5 years ago.

[BigTim]

Subway chick?

[Havago]

Not buying my house 10 years ago.

[Desmo]

Subway chick?

Actually yes.

[CitizenD]

Was there cheese on it?

[Desmo]

No, but there was quite a large helping of sauce on it by the end of the night.

[Speed Demon]

Bought a tonne of timber for a pergola and 1 piece was so bowed i decided to take it back, so after a work party one saturday i put this piece of 3.5m / 175mm / 50mm into my coupe half of it in half of it out and not secured and drive semi pissed down to mazzegas to get it replaced.
As i was driving down the back lane it clipped the wall and swung around in the car a smacked me it the back of the head.
I came too about 20-30 seconds later still rolling towarrds the rear shed unable to move or talk.
When the car finally stopped a worker at mazzegas ran over and started screaming about all the blood and ran away to get help.
Next thing i know some blokes got his hand in my mouth trying to get my tongue out of the back of my throat and holding pressure on the back of my head to stop the bleeding.
I remeber thinking to my self how i had just badly fucked my life up coz i was paralised from the neck down, i couldnt talk or move.
30 minutes later the ambo rolled up, i could say my name and move my arms and i spewed on the ambo when he was putting the brace on my neck.
Trip to hospital and i got 10 stiches in the back of my head and concussion apparently i swore at the nurse stiching nme up cos the anestetic wore off and i got a couple of stiches with full pain.
The next morning the nurse shoved / stabbed a really big tetnus needle so hard into my arse i thought she was trying to kill me.
Apparently she was one of the nurses i abused.
I couldnt get out of hospital quick enough the following day

[BERT]

Was about 4 years ago I was in the process of a major backyard make over.
My mother in law wa around watching me sweat & bleed digging and swearing and told me about this "liquid limestone" she had seen and had a brochure. I knew about it but it was out of my budget...... She offered to pay.
I have now just completed 99% of the paving near crippled myself in the process of laying it and every time I wash the boat or have to kill ants in the paving I wish I had "liquid limestone"

Bert

[Cam]

I simply could not pick one incident above all the other dumb shit I've ever done.

[Kryzaach]

Pointed a gun at my brother(accident)

[Davey]

Bought a house in mid 2007.

money well spent

[Corona White]

Pottz. Make sure you post in this tread Hey

Me I spent 18 months pushing my luck with the instructor panel at the gliding club I used to fly at.

Low, Fast and complete disregard for flying through peoples back yards. Was a little lucky a few times looking back now

Remember these things don't have engines so if you miss judge and run out of airspeed it can get messy.

[Hudo]

when i was six i decided that the bmx bandits were awsome an i should jump off a dam bank with a stock loading ramp, erring on the side of caution with the logic if i go slow it wont hit so hard... needles to say the resulting slow roll ower a 4 foot drop resulted in me faceplanting on compacted clay wore the bike and then had to explain how i ripped my pants, no one cared too much about all the claret and skin off .look what youve done to your pants.

[footer]

I crashed by push bike into a parked car when I was 4, Broken Collar bone and 7 stiches on the inside of my leg.

Doing back flips into the pool age 6 hit head on edge of pool and filled it full of blood. 5 more stiches.

16 at a party jumping around/dancing in a mates car port, hit my head on a beam 5 more stiches.


Should I keep going..

[chance]

Working in fast food many many moons ago, my task for the night was cooking chips in a deep fryer.

As i had previously done I place my ripcurl watch and wallet on the shelf above the super hot oil.

End of shift comes around and im trying to find my "misplaced watch and wallet" I remember where it is, go to grab it, the watch slips from my hand and towards the oil.

Without using the brain that was given to me my hand goes for saving catch, 3 out of 4 fingers hit the oil, just breaking the surface, my screams burst ear drums and the profanity can be heard from the moon. Mothers cover their daughters ears in shock.

All the boss was concerned about was he would have to change the oil sooner than required and that costs money. Wonder if he did ever find out who reveresed kanga'd in his staff toilet !

[speed3]

Rode a push bike off a roof trying to make it into a pool.

Soooooo nearly made it though.

[timmy]

Soooooo nearly made it though.

best thing said in this thread yet.

My contribution... I got my tongue stuck to the inside of a fridge. Yes. A fridge. A normal, regular, every day fridge in your kitchen kind of fridge.

I was about 17 I think, been drinking all day. Opened up the fridge and saw the cold bars running down the back of it. I thought to myself "hmmm, I wonder if that really happens?". Yes. It does.

Got stuck and I couldn't reach to any liquids to try and pour on my tongue to get it off! Ended up just going the quick pull it off and left parts behind. Was bleeding for ages and fark it hurt.

[Kempie]

I thought to myself "hmmm, I wonder if that really happens?"

lol thats the same reason why i did it........wonder how many more there are

Plus to add to that when i was 12 i was on a seesaw and i thought i be different and hold on to the bars from underneath and not from the top.......results were a lot of blood, chipped chin with 5 stitches after i flew over the bars when someone heavier than me got on.

[XSorXpire]

Bought a tonne of timber for a pergola and 1 piece was so bowed i decided to take it back, so after a work party one saturday i put this piece of 3.5m / 175mm / 50mm into my coupe half of it in half of it out and not secured and drive semi pissed down to mazzegas to get it replaced.
As i was driving down the back lane it clipped the wall and swung around in the car a smacked me it the back of the head.
I came too about 20-30 seconds later still rolling towarrds the rear shed unable to move or talk.
When the car finally stopped a worker at mazzegas ran over and started screaming about all the blood and ran away to get help.
Next thing i know some blokes got his hand in my mouth trying to get my tongue out of the back of my throat and holding pressure on the back of my head to stop the bleeding.
I remeber thinking to my self how i had just badly fucked my life up coz i was paralised from the neck down, i couldnt talk or move.
30 minutes later the ambo rolled up, i could say my name and move my arms and i spewed on the ambo when he was putting the brace on my neck.
Trip to hospital and i got 10 stiches in the back of my head and concussion apparently i swore at the nurse stiching nme up cos the anestetic wore off and i got a couple of stiches with full pain.
The next morning the nurse shoved / stabbed a really big tetnus needle so hard into my arse i thought she was trying to kill me.
Apparently she was one of the nurses i abused.
I couldnt get out of hospital quick enough the following day

Please forgive me for laughing so hard.