Worst Pub in Perth?

[Barfridge]

Every day I ride past the Malaga Tavern, and think to myself what a festering shithole that place is.

So I got wondering, what is the worst pub in Perth? Let me know, give me reasons why.

Format -

location:
decor:
ambience:
clientele:
food:
drinks:
toilets:
anything else not so special:


I'll start off with the Malaga Tav:
location: apart from being in Malaga, not too bad. On a quietish side road
decor: genuine 1970's fittings. I swear they dust off the cobwebs then put them back
ambience: depressing. The locals are marking time until death, making futile attempts to enliven things with gambling and liquor
clientele: it's not a tradesman pub, they have money and go somewhere better. It's a place for unskilled labourers
likelyhood of death: fairly low really. You just get so depressed you wish for death
food: very average, but at least it's not expensive
drinks: I asked for little creatures once, they said they had never heard of it.
toilets: old and damaged, but not disgusting
anything else not so special:

[mekon]

Used to be the Brisbane before it was revamped and back in the early 90's the Oceanic in Mosman Park, it was my first real local though.

location: Fortesque roadhouse pub
decor: dark like a cave the toilets are bigger than the pub
ambience: similar to that of a cave in tora bora
clientele: semi human
food: poisoning is likely
drinks: warmish and limited
toilets: as I said bigger and cleaner than the bar
anything else not so special: the beer garden

[CitizenD]

The Malaga definately is a top ranked contender if not the champ.

All other pubs shine when compared to that dive.

[chief wiggum]

bugger, cant put wiluna pub in there
and now i'm realising how few pubs i've been to around perth of late. there's a whole heap i coulda named, but most of em have been revamped. and i dont go to shithole pubs.
carry on, i'll just sit this one out

[Brougham]

uber in vic park

shitty music up way too loud
barstaff dont know how to make any std drinks (whats a b52???? )
prices too exxy
bad location
no parking

[nipPs]

THE worst pub in Perth = The GBT in Joondalup

Only pub i have ever walked out of in disgust.

location: Joondalup
decor: Skanks
ambience: Skanks
clientele: Skanks
food: Actually pretty good kebab shop next door
drinks: Not enough
toilets: So full of skanks primping themselves i could not even get IN there
anything else not so special: The taxi fare home



The Malaga ain't that bad. You ever been to The Kwinana?

Likelihood of death: 99%

[delete_me_kthxbai]

You talking GBT post or pre-facelift?
Fri/Sat nights always was that way. Try going there during the week or daytime, great place and food now.

[nipPs]

This was fairly recently.

Never going near it again. Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

[Maxo]

You talking GBT post or pre-facelift?

GBT is a hole. i worked there. hole hole hole hole hole.

okay i realise it isnt a pub but...

location:casino
decor: old vomit crusted carpets and senior citizens
ambience:farting, coughing, and bing bing noises
clientele: nearly dead/old gimps/gold diggers
food: salmonella
drinks: expensive salmonella
toilets: see above
anything else not so special: the ruby room

i hate that place with a passion

[CitizenD]

THE worst pub in Perth = The GBT in Joondalup


location: Joondalup
decor: Skanks
ambience: Skanks
clientele: Skanks
food: Actually pretty good kebab shop next door
drinks: Not enough

66.6%

[nipPs]

Skank.


At least you have the decency to rate food above slutbags.

[CitizenD]

Skank.


At least you have the decency to rate food above slutbags.

Kebabs are mother's milk to me.

And it doesn't matter when you treat skanks badly.

Or hack into them with a claw hammer in the alley beihnd the pub.

[Desmo]

I'm confused, you talking about skanks, or badly rolled kebabs?

[delete_me_kthxbai]

Haven't been there for about a month, and then it's been daytime lunch or casual drink with mates. It's definately getting better. Except for that white bar-top, WTF?

[nipPs]

Kebabs are mother's milk to me.

Ewwwwwww creepy!!

Or hack into them with a claw hammer in the alley beihnd the pub.

Roadtrip to Joondalup??

[thro]

^^ lol

i only eat kebabs when fully intoxicated. they make me ill otherwise.

[Kryzaach]

Some people might not agree with this one

location:The Queens(Mt Lawley)
decor: half finished industrial
ambience: raucous
clientele: lazy eyed limp wristed bogan trash
food: phlegm streaked
drinks: slow and inaccurate
toilets: no idea, after the rest of it, i'd rather use a bush
strange factoid: it's a whole lot better during the day/arvo

[Sal]

The Northwood ale house!!
It was on my weekly run when was a rep but I only went there once and this is why.

I walked through the front doors, past the underage parents sharing their Bundy & cola cans with the poor unfortunate 3 year old, who might I add was sitting in pram that I'm sure came with a my real baby toy in the late 80's....thank god for the salvos.

Anymawho...as my heels stuck to some form of bodily fluid seeping into the carpet, I became fearful of my life....I wasn't sure if the locals were going to belt me, rape me or mount my head on the bloody wall along side the "life size" Bundy bear cut outs.

Whilst I was waiting for the manager i was making a few notes....read as follows:
Product range: xxxx gold, swan draught, emu bitter, bundy & cola on tap, REDBACK, Morris cask dry red & classic white. standard first pour spirit, no sign of top shelf spirits or boutique beers.
Toilets?....lets just say thank god for the KFC up the road. They smelt clean but I have learnt that smells can also be deceiving....

When the manager eventually came out to save me from the drooling beast known as regulars, I asked him about his up and coming million dollar renovation....
His reply......
wait for it....

" They were completed last month"!!!!!!!!!

[CitizenD]

i only eat kebabs when fully intoxicated.

Yeah, me too.

Same with skanks.

[Sal]