Absurd taunts and trash talk

[mekon]

After reading a Forrest Griffin book I have found some funny quotes I may like to use, plus some I heard at school. I'll get us started, please add to the list, it may prove useful for someone. Lefty may have to help me out with some Tucker Maxisms.

Son of a motherless goat

Be Careful son, I'm bathed in the devil's menstrual blood

I fuck guys like you in jail.

I lick a dog's ass with guys like you.

[agrid]

I'm in my mid-fifties and still play basketball. I blocked this young guy's shot and then when we're running back down the court he says, "Shouldn't you be sleeping under a bridge somewhere". Fuck I laughed.

[=Stevo=]

Whenever someone starts interrupting or ruining the work you are doing:

"I don't come to your workplace and knock the sailors cocks out of your mouth"

[kapyong]

I wuz havin a chat wiff youse mum the other day.

Yeah, what did she have to say.

Next please!

[xphread]

Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!

[mekon]

Whenever someone starts interrupting or ruining the work you are doing:

"I don't come to your workplace and knock the sailors cocks out of your mouth"

This will work very well at my workplace.

[Wildslide]

Whenever someone starts interrupting or ruining the work you are doing:

"I don't come to your workplace and knock the sailors cocks out of your mouth"

Needs A like button! hahaha
I had someone say your momma to me a few weeks/months back so I made like it ready got me pissed off and then spent the next half an hour explaining the the young chap why some people would find it insulting. wasted about half an hour of his time. it was 12 am I was blind drunk and had only spent 30 bucks all night so I had time to waste. then got a pie and went home.

[Lex_Steele]

One of my fav Trashtalk quotes and comebacks

Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast
Happy: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter: No (then storms off)

stolen from Happy Gilmore

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Q. Why are you so fucking fat?

A. Cos everytime i fuck your mum she gives me a cookie

[BigTim]

After reading a Forrest Griffin book...

Which one?
His "It's Always Sunny" reference in the dust-jacket blurb of Be Ready When the Shit Goes Down had me in tears.

[mekon]

Got both man, just finishing up the 'Got Fight' and will start the Apocalypse one next. He's gold.

[chew]

How is your wife and my kids.

[Sheikh Yerbouti]

Im not as dumb as you look

[Maxo]

Which one?
His "It's Always Sunny" reference in the dust-jacket blurb of Be Ready When the Shit Goes Down had me in tears.

I have to borrow that off you.

[Dubs]

You're a great ad for pro-choice

You're a load that should have been swallowed

If I want a come back I'd wipe it off your chin


Dubs

[Dubs]

You could only be gayer with nuts on your chin

Dubs

[Old frt]

Can I borrow your brain?
I'm building an idiot.

[BigTim]

I have to borrow that off you.

No dramas. It's on the bookshelf, if I'm not around.

[chew]

I'm in my mid-fifties and still play basketball. I blocked this young guy's shot and then when we're running back down the court he says, "Shouldn't you be sleeping under a bridge somewhere". Fuck I laughed.

I filled in for a game earlier this year and copped "What sort of game are you playing old man" from a forty y.o., after a collision with one of his team mates. So I said "Knock the cocky pricks over?" he nearly got ejected for his response. His team is renowned for their hissy fits.

[Dets]

I think this one is has been posted on here before: