For funny emails/jokes/vids/pics - that dont deserve their own thread

[devolved]

So... how's Antarctica treating you?

It's cold, but otherwise okay. Derp.

[Halo_2]

All right here we go..

I've been with my g/f for a few years now, everything was great, super happy, and loving life. One day this guy named Joe comes out of f***ing nowhere into my life, he's a new coworker at my job. I soon find out he has no money, nor a place of residence, he moved here for the job and can no longer afford the hotel where he was staying. So, I decide to open up to him, and have him stay in my apartment for a few weeks. Bro is pretty cool, we play video games, drink beer, watch footy, all that good stuff. This ends up going on for a few months.Then, I find out my g/f is pregnant..

By all tradition, I have to marry her now. So one night when Joe stayed late at the shop for some overtime, I decided to take the g/f out for nice dinner. I popped the question. She then proceeds to openly admit she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine, she says she isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated. So I go home in a f***ing rage, and throw out all Joe's s**t. I'm gonna f***ing kill Joe when he gets home. 1am, and still in a state of pure fury, I hear Joe pulling in. As soon as Joe opens the door, I f***ing punch him in his bastard face! His eye swells up like a boll of cotton! He swings at me, I dodge and sweep his leg, and he goes down. In a giant f***ing rage now, I go to my room and grab my Glock out of my drawer. Go back to take care of Joe, and see him jumping in his car! He hightails it out of there. I haven't seen or heard from him since. So, I was on the phone a month later with my brother, and he finally asks why I've been so depressed? I tell him that, if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe, I'd been married long time 'go. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

[Rockstar]

I want my 40 seconds back MR Halo.

All right here we go..

I've been with my g/f for a few years now, everything was great, super happy, and loving life. One day this guy named Joe comes out of f***ing nowhere into my life, he's a new coworker at my job. I soon find out he has no money, nor a place of residence, he moved here for the job and can no longer afford the hotel where he was staying. So, I decide to open up to him, and have him stay in my apartment for a few weeks. Bro is pretty cool, we play video games, drink beer, watch footy, all that good stuff. This ends up going on for a few months.Then, I find out my g/f is pregnant..

By all tradition, I have to marry her now. So one night when Joe stayed late at the shop for some overtime, I decided to take the g/f out for nice dinner. I popped the question. She then proceeds to openly admit she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine, she says she isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated. So I go home in a f***ing rage, and throw out all Joe's s**t. I'm gonna f***ing kill Joe when he gets home. 1am, and still in a state of pure fury, I hear Joe pulling in. As soon as Joe opens the door, I f***ing punch him in his bastard face! His eye swells up like a boll of cotton! He swings at me, I dodge and sweep his leg, and he goes down. In a giant f***ing rage now, I go to my room and grab my Glock out of my drawer. Go back to take care of Joe, and see him jumping in his car! He hightails it out of there. I haven't seen or heard from him since. So, I was on the phone a month later with my brother, and he finally asks why I've been so depressed? I tell him that, if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe, I'd been married long time 'go. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

[Murley]

I want my 40 seconds back MR Halo.

Yeah? Well I want a large version of your avatar but you don't always get what you want

[andymac]

cup-o-rage.jpg

My favourite moment
Geordie: "... you're an aggressive ..."
Flouro: "FUCK OFF CUNT"

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6ab_1339556864

[Big_Dave]

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1339637386.724171.jpg

[kale]

I see his problem.
He's riding, not driving. Poor dude is confused.

Original was a car, someone's chopped in the bike.

[Geordie]

My favourite moment
Geordie: "... you're an aggressive ..."
Flouro: "FUCK OFF CUNT"

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6ab_1339556864

The guys from the Middlesborough area, not Newcastle. So would be called a Smoggie.

[devolved]

cup-o-rage.jpg

My favourite moment
Geordie: "... you're an aggressive ..."
Flouro: "FUCK OFF CUNT"

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6ab_1339556864

I don't know how the 'smoggie' guy did not deck him...

I just don't think I could tolerate someone in my face like that, pointing and yelling and screaming and waving their hands about without going into self-defence mode and moving myself away from the danger...

[chew]

I don't know how the 'smoggie' guy did not deck him...

I just don't think I could tolerate someone in my face like that, pointing and yelling and screaming and waving their hands about without going into self-defence mode and moving myself away from the danger...

I love when people carry on like that as I take it as a personal challenge to see if I can goad them into a stroke or heart attack.

[51 New West]

But I agree with the "I indicated to change lanes and you accelerated to close the gap" scenario put forth by the pom, happens alot in Perth, no surprise to see it in NSW.

[andymac]

But I agree with the "I indicated to change lanes and you accelerated to close the gap" scenario put forth by the pom, happens alot in Perth, no surprise to see it in NSW.

It's a real shame that there's no footage of the actual incident that caused the flouro meltdown ...

[benlikesbikes]

But I agree with the "I indicated to change lanes and you accelerated to close the gap" scenario put forth by the pom, happens alot in Perth, no surprise to see it in NSW.

I had some prick speed up to stop me from merging, then get all red faced about it. turns out it was a copper, flashed his badged and indicated he was going to call me, I had all my comments on his driving ability lined up but he never called...

[BOFH]

[51 New West]

It's a real shame that there's no footage of the actual incident that caused the flouro meltdown ...

Yes because fluoro guy was just SO reasonable. One was in front of the other as they both stated. Pom indicates to change lanes, ranga fluoro feels he was cut off (not changed lanes onto), melt down ensues. On the face of it, no we weren't there, but from what I could see and hear, and based on my own experience with people being discourteous on the road in this exact situation, I am erring on the side of the Pom. I could be wrong, but I reckon the odds are in my favour that I'm right. So now bag me out for having an opinion

[Geordie]

Theres also the very reasonable probability that the "Smoggie" fella can drive..... Not being an aussie or asian. haha.

[chew]

I aint watching it again but flouro guy seemed more pissed about getting the finger, NSW drivers are less prone to cut you off than here.

Overeaction regardless.

Lucky it wasnt this guy

[andymac]

Yes because fluoro guy was just SO reasonable. One was in front of the other as they both stated. Pom indicates to change lanes, ranga fluoro feels he was cut off (not changed lanes onto), melt down ensues. On the face of it, no we weren't there, but from what I could see and hear, and based on my own experience with people being discourteous on the road in this exact situation, I am erring on the side of the Pom. I could be wrong, but I reckon the odds are in my favour that I'm right. So now bag me out for having an opinion

Not going to bag you for having an opinion. Like I said it would just be interesting to see what actually triggered it all - one mans mortal insult is another mans 'SMIDSY' ....

[Hamster]

You've got to think that a nom de plume might have been a good idea in this instance.
ImageUploadedByTapatalk1339660682.448480.jpg

[chief wiggum]

it's a herbert montage!