What's the point of wearing a helmet?
In case he falls to his left?
Oldies but goodies...
A deeply unattractive person.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
Bra with the cups too small so it looks like you have four boobs
"He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice." Albert Einstein
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0qlc-xuT9A]YouTube - Man in the Northbridge Bushes with No Pants.[/ame]
I'm a guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down.
no cameras hahahaha
Don't you wish at times that things could be as simple as this . . . ?
BOAT DELIVERY WAS ON TIME
65' custom-built motor yacht complete with 4 staterooms, a state-of-the-art galley, GPS System and radar for navigation, twin supercharged diesel engines, etc. $4,500,000.00
Champagne, chocolate covered strawberries with cream and music dockside for the excited 'soon to be owners' and a small group of friends. $500.00
Two corporate representatives, crane, and rigging complete with faulty turnbuckle - $2,500/hour
(Note the guy in the stern!)
Watching your dreamboat nose dive into the harbour, accompanied by two corporate
representatives just prior to 'inking' the final paperwork...
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_3FW-i_DD4&feature=related]YouTube - Hot Girls Risky Business Fail![/ame]
be careful asking for photoshop
"Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over"