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Heard this on the radio yesterday, and just found it on ORSM
Adelaide Crows - Delta Goodrem. Tidy, attractive, professional and uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you want to yawn.
Brisbane Lions - Elle MacPherson. Past her glorious best but still easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.
Carlton Blues - Whitney Houston. Has not looked after herself in recent years and has gone completely off the rails.
Collingwood Magpies - Amelie Mauresmo. Last woman on Earth scenario : you still wouldn't.
Essendon Bombers - Katie Holmes. Has a certifiable psycho in charge of her every move. Has lost credibility in recent times.
Fremantle Dockers - Danii Minogue. Always trying hard to be as good as her big sister, but will never measure up. The butt of everyone's jokes.
Geelong Cats - Britney Spears. At times can look stunning, at others it can get ugly.
Hawthorn Hawks - Christina Aguilera. Looks like she enjoys it rough and dirty.
Kangaroos - Paris Hilton. Lay's down way too easily.
Melbourne Demons - Princess Diana. May be a blue blood, but hasn't done anything for a while.
Port Adelaide Power - Madonna. Also past her glorious best, but refuses to accept it gracefully.
Richmond Tigers - Annabel Chong. Can cop a pounding and keep coming back for more, all in the name of self-improvement.
St Kilda Saints - Krystal from Big Brother. Has the biggest and best assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.
Sydney Swans - J-Lo. Quality all over, but especially good down back.
Western Bulldogs - Shakira. Proof that being short is no barrier to getting you excited. Will only get better too.
West Coast Eagles - Kylie Minogue. Very decent despite not having much up front.
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