Important Health Advice for Women

[Sumfun4me]

From an e-mail today (not sure if it's a repost):

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, erotic lustfulness, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.



WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

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NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

[Princess deb]

Good one. I opened this "yet another funny thing about chicks" email with detached cynicism, and am now having to explain to my daughter why Mummy is laughing so much (Oh nothing darling, Mummy's just really happy).

Seriously though, I'm looking at the warnings, and there must be traces of this mysterious 'white wine' in my food, because I sometimes get these side effects.

Other side effect discovered:
*White Wine may cause you to talk like a drag queen (oh, really, lovey)
*White Wine may cause you to believe a 57kg woman can take on a 79kg man in an arm wrestle
*White Wine may cause you to flirt with a Police Officer, even when your friends are desperate to avoid their attention
*White Wine may cause you to accidentally tuck the back of your dress into your undies (allegedly)