Little Johnny...

[Sumfun4me]

An oldie but a goody:

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five guys on motor bikes speeding along the Mitchell Freeway and the Police stopped one, how many bike riders would there be left on the freeway?"

"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest of the guys would split up and all take exits to get away from the cops."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I must admit, I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny thinks about it for a while and says, "I have a question for you teacher. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, her head bobbing up and down on it, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone, her head bobbing up and down on it."

"No," said Little Johnny, "it would be the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I must admit, I like the way you're thinking."

Come on - post up your little Johnny jokes

[JustCharlie]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

[Sumfun4me]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Ur-in-ate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, that's a big word Johnny. Can you use it in a sentence?"

Little Johnny says "My brother reckons ur-in-ate miss, but if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten"

[JustCharlie]

In school Mrs. Rogers was playing a word game with the kids.

She would shout out a letter and then pick on a student, and the student would pick a word that starts with the letter.

Mrs. Rogers said the letter "B" and Johnny raised his hand.

Since Mrs. Rogers thought he'd say bitch She called on Sally instead. Sally said Ball

Mrs. Rogers said the letter "P", and Johnny raised his hand again.

Since Mrs. Rogers thought he'd say Pussy, she called on Frank, who said paper.

Finally, Mrs. Rogers said the letter "R", and again Johnny raised his hand.

Mrs. Rogers couldn't think of a bad word that started with "R" so she picked Johnny.

Johnny hesitated and said "Rat" .... "A Big Mother Fucking Rat"

Return to

[[DR34M3R]]

Little Johnny was late for school one morning & the teacher asked him to explain

Johnny says "I was down the creek miss bl sticking fire crackers up frogs ar$es & blowing them up!"

"You mean rectum?" says the teacher

To which Johnny replies "Sure did miss, it blew the friggen heads off!"

[Kingkezza]

Little Johnny sees his father's car passing the playground and go
into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees his father and his aunt Jane "hugging" in the parked vehicle.

Johnny finds this very exciting and can barely contain himself so he runs home and starts to tell his mother,

"I was at the playground and I saw daddy's car go into the woods with aunt Jane. I went to look for them and I saw daddy giving aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then aunt Jane helped daddy take his pants off, then aunt Jane lay down on the seat, then daddy..."

At this point, Johnny's mother cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Johnny's mother asks him to tell his story, so Johnny starts to talk, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and...

"...then daddy and aunt Jane did that same thing mommy and uncle Richard used to do when daddy was in the army."

[the[K]id]

Miss Baker is teaching her grade four class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands.

"Smithy," she says. Smithy says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, 'cause they're contagious."

"Very good," says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious," and the teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!"

Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class. "Yes, Little Johnny?" she says.

Little Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's sitting around, and we saw our blonde neighbour painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, "Jesus, it's gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence."

[jackdaniel]

Miss Jones told her class "Today boys and girls we are going to talk about pairs. Can anyone give me an example of something that they have a pair of?"

3 hands shot up...she saw little Johnnys hand but knew it was going to be about her tits, so started with the other kids.

"Sally, can you tell me something that comes in pairs?"
"Yes miss, Ive got a pair of arms."
"Very good Sally, what about you Ben, what do you have a pair of?"
"Miss, Ive got a pair of ears"
"Excellent Ben, you do"

Now with no other hands up, and Johnny just about wetting himself with enthiusiasm, she decides to take a chance.

"OK, Johnny, can you please tell me about your pair"
Johnny stands up and says, "Sorry miss, I cant think of a pair I have, but my Dad has a pair of penis's"

Miss Jones says "I'm sure that cant be right Johnny, are you sure he has a pair of penis's"

"Yes miss, I'm sure, I have seen them both - he has a little one for going to the toilet with, and a big one for cleaming Mummys teeth"