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New ABC Drama Series:
Following the popularity of the BBC series Red Cap, which shows the hard
working, intelligent, brave, heroic, compassionate Military Police of the
British Army, the ABC is pleased to announce Meat Head, a new drama series
about Australian Army Military Police.
Episode 1: It's a Long Way to the Top*
In the opening episode we follow Private Jim Loser who thinks a transfer to
the MPs is an easy two stripes. See him become bitter and twisted when he
realises that all he's achieved is to go from the bottom of one pile to the
bottom of another.
Episode 2: Serving the Nation
This episode covers the vital work of the Military Police. Using the latest
high tech radar (that the civilian coppers stopped using because it was so
unreliable) and on the lookout for speed demons who recklessly tear up the
base at 41km/h.
Episode 3: Lost without you.
In this episode the Meat Heads have the vital task of directing exercise
convoys. They put out a 6-inch by 6-inch sign with a black arrow on dark
green, a foot off the ground and wonder why drivers in a forest at midnight
on blackouts can't see it.
Episode 4: Friends
(It appears that as Australian Army Military Police don't actually have
any, this script is still under development.)
Episode 5: The Persuaders (a true story).
When a SLR goes missing from the unit armory, the crack Meat Head SIB team
soon suspect the soldier who had the rifle on the previous exercise. After
a few days downtown he "willingly" signs a confession saying he stole the
rifle and sold it to "criminals". Case closed. The rifle is found a year
later, stock and butt dissolved, in the bottom of the armory's chemical
cleaning tank, where it had been all the time.
Episode 6: Bob Marley
It's a 4am drug bust at the OR's barracks. A further mystery emerges in the
females' lines where two female soldiers share a room but only one bed
needs making. Dickheads in unfashionable cheap suits expect half-awake
diggers to address them by rank when they aren't wearing any. Even though
don't find drugs (especially on the guy wearing nothing but a towel with
his bag of hooch clenched between his butt cheeks), no detail escapes the
trained Military Policeman's trained eye.
"Is that your TV?"
"Yes it is."
"Do you have a receipt for it?"
"No."
"Then how do I know it's not stolen?"
"You don't. Am I going to be charged with stealing my own TV?"
"Next time make sure you have a receipt. Get this place cleaned up."
Meat Head. Coming soon on AJTV
Second season episodes.
Episode 7: Urban Stealth vehicle. (True story)
A RAEME digger is harassed for not wearing a hat whilst picking up the
morning tea for the workshop. The smoko is cold and late when delivered and
the workshop takes revenge by grounding all of the MPs vehicles during
routine inspection. The MPs borrow a vehicle from the training pool but the
only vehicle available is an Inter Mk 5. The MPs have to perform all their
patrols of the married quarter areas in the Mk5. Problems ensue when the
MPs cannot catch a thief on a stolen pushbike.
Episode 8: Where's my machinegun. (True story)
A Landrover stops at an unmanned checkpoint and finds a machinegun. The
machinegun is kidnapped and held for ransom of 10 cartons of beer. The
combined intelligence and detecting powers of the MPs is put too the test
but fails to find the culprit.
Episode 9: The mystery of the flat Bluebird. (True story)
Pissed gunnies dive from the second floor of their lines onto the roof of
the MPs car while the MPs sleep in their office. MPs can't understand why
the roofs of all their cars are dented.
Episode 10: I really wanted to be a real cop but they wouldn't take me.
Semi-documentary: Profiles MP careers.
Episode 11: Meccano sets. (True story)
The MPs are tasked with displaying new weapons to the troops (Minimi, Mag58
and Steyr). At one display all the weapons are disassembled leaving the MPs
to put them back together again. Several hours later, MPs turn up at the
workshop with a box of parts for the armourers to reassemble.
Episode 12: English you good read. (True story)
SIB turns up to a Supply Battalion to investigate the disappearance of a
Zodiac assault boat. They read the NSN incorrectly and spend a day
investigating the disappearance of a gravy boat. The Zodiac meanwhile turns
up in the unit swimming pool where it is being used for diver training.
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Originally Posted by andymac 
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