Simple Rules Chicks Need To Know

[emmett750r]

Simple Rules Chicks Need To Know

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. If you ask us a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
4. Sometimes he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
6. Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better then ANY cat. Period.
8. Shopping is not everybodys idea of a good time.
9. You have enough clothes.
10. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
11. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must. But don't expect us to like it.
12. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad probably is too.
13. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
14. He won't remember your anniversary, mark it on the calender.
15. Yes and No, are perfectly acceptable answers.
16. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
17. Foreign films are for foreigners.
18. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in a argument.
19. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
20. If you don't dress like Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
21. If something we said can be interpreted two different ways, and one way makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
22. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
23. Whenever possible, please say whetever you have to say during commercials.
24. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, neither do we.
25. When we're turning the steering wheel and the car is starting onto the off ramp, you saying "this is our exit," is not necessary.

[darkfibre]

Piss off and find something original to post.

Search for any one line in that post and google gives over a million results

And even chicks see through that shit!

[Sweetcheeks]

Piss off and find something original to post.

Search for any one line in that post and google gives over a million results

And even chicks see through that shit!

Amen

[darkfibre]

Wow, I said that and i'm not even in a bad mood

[HotelBushranger]

Doesn't make it any less true.

[andymac]

Doesn't make it any less true.

Amen ...

[The Saint]

Phew, tough crowd.

[natski]

26. If there is something we enjoy doing and you don't like it; get over it or find a new man.
27. Yes it's a penis if you want to play with it you need to finish the job.


Sent from my IPhone using Tapatalk

[devolved]

28. I am not interested in what your sister bought yesterday at the shops, and I am not interested in the fact you think its a waste of money.
29. Sex is pretty much all I think about, and if I'm thinking about other stuff, I'd like to have sex to stop me thinking about it.

[n00b_Ryder]

And even chicks see through that shit!

Agreed

[Hornet]

Did a few people wake on the wrong side of bed?

Forum: Funny Stuff

Stick yer funny pix, jokes and shit in here

Chillax, peoples.

[shan]

This is going well
might be an old set of rules
But i do agree with them for the most part,
So to all those cranky peeps, If you are real people ,
GO for a ride

[Sweetcheeks]

Some simple rules for men just to add to it.

1. Call. (Brush offs on her home answer machine when she's at work are for wimps.)
2. Never tape any of her body parts together. (And don't even think about her lips.)
3. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
4. The correct answer to, "Do I look fat?," is never, ever "Yes."
5. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
6. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
7. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
8. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
9. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
10. Her cooking is excellent...This isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
11. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
12. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with, "Nobody," is never going to end that conversation.
13. Two words: clean socks.
14. You're sorry...and then you're wrong!
15. Don't assume PMS is the figment of her imagination or the cause for every bad mood.
16. "No" means No. "Yes" means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
17. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
18. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
19. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
20. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like complete jerk until she does it for you.
21. Don't tell her you love her if you don't. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
22. Always, always suck up to her brother.
23. Think boxers...Silk boxers.
24. Her haircut is never bad.
25. Don't lie. (Romantic embellishments are encouraged, however.)

Number 2 i found remarkably funny

[Barfridge]

2 is bullshit, depends on the girl.
4 the answer depends on how often it gets asked. If you're being whiny and needy, the answer will get less and less polite.
8 is the male response to 16, if you can do one, we can do the other
14 we look for solutions for problems, then assess the emotional impact. Women are quite often the reverse, deal with it
23 until you've squashed your testicles between your thigh and the centre seam when standing up, you have no idea why briefs are a good thing.
24 also bullshit, some haircuts, like those stupid gladiator sandals, are just stupid looking.

[PlayDoh]

^^too many words and no mention of boobs, bewbs or any other word for them - it will never catch on...

[NanoBear]

26. Barfy is awesome

3, 12, 19, no worries, as long as it works the other way around too. Especially 3.

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

24. Her haircut is never bad.

I'm going with the first one.

[K8e]

26. If there is something we enjoy doing and you don't like it; get over it or find a new man.27. Yes it's a penis if you want to play with it you need to finish the job.


Sent from my IPhone using Tapatalk

Heres a rule for you. Don't post things like this where your girlfriend can easily see it, then wonder why she's not happy with you the next day. Or she might just get over it AND find a new man, and then who won't be happy.

[Cam]

3. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

But then how would it be fun?

The rest of your list just encourages lying to women, which I'm not altogether opposed to.

Heres a rule for you. Don't post things like this where your girlfriend can easily see it, then wonder why she's not happy with you the next day. Or she might just get over it AND find a new man, and then who won't be happy.

If she was to react like that, she was an overly sensitive, humourless bitch anyway.

[Barfridge]

Once again Cam's sig rings like a bell <3

[Maxo]

Heres a rule for you. Don't post things like this where your girlfriend can easily see it, then wonder why she's not happy with you the next day. Or she might just get over it AND find a new man, and then who won't be happy.

Her new man.