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Thread: Today's Dad Joke

  1. #421
    Member Munkers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thatguy View Post
    and I thought mine was bad
    We do try my friend, we do try :-)
    If at first you don't succeed, dont bother taking up sky diving.
    This unit is portable when carried.
    it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam.

  2. #422
    Member I Like ( . Y . )'s Avatar
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    two cows eating grass and watching the farmer work,
    one cow lifts it's head and says "MOOOoooooo"
    The other cow lifts it's head and looks at the first cow and sez "Ya fkn wanker, i was gonna say that!"
    I think about sex every tits seconds.

  3. #423
    Member Benno #03's Avatar
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    Bwa hahaha.
    My Father in law cant help it when ever a joke starts with so and so and so walk into a Bar.
    He say's "Well One of em should a seen it".

    OK I'll have to contribute now.

    His other favorite is.

    What do you call a Mushroom that's been buying you drinks all night.

    A "Funghi" to be with.
    Wounds Heal, Bones Mend, Chicks Dig Scars and Glory Lasts Forever...

  4. #424
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    maggie tabberer was busted for drugs at sydney airport yesterday , they found 6 kilos of crack in her underpants .

  5. #425
    Member Munkers's Avatar
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    The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
    If at first you don't succeed, dont bother taking up sky diving.
    This unit is portable when carried.
    it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam.

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    Gina Rinehart was allegedly the victim of a sexual assault last night.

    Police are looking for a motive.
    Desmo and Munkers like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Old frt View Post
    Gina Rinehart was allegedly the victim of a sexual assault last night.

    Police are looking for a motive.
    He was Japanese and like fucking whales?
    #1 Gold Ticket Holder for the Barfridge Fan Club
    Quote Originally Posted by Phildo View Post
    Noted. We'll check back on that one in three years
    Quote Originally Posted by filbert View Post
    i'll pretend you didn't know she was 13

    98 BADASS TITANIUM BLACKBIRD - Past bikes 1982 XS250 Yamaha & 1983 CB750F with 900 motor
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  8. #428
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    Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
    If at first you don't succeed, dont bother taking up sky diving.
    This unit is portable when carried.
    it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam.

  9. #429
    Member Deano's Avatar
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    A guy is following an OfficeWorks truck when a box falls off the back. The guy swerves quickly out of its way and continues but police that are following pull him over for dangerous driving. The guy says "Officer, didn't you see that box fall off the back of the truck?" The Police retrieve the box and proceed to write the man a ticket. He asks why and they show him the box that is labeled "Thumb-Tacs". The Officer flatly replies "Tax evasion".
    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen
    When fighting in the wilderness riding a bike, the biggest threats are often the ones you don't see: dehydration, exhaustion, and nerves.

  10. #430
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    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
    If at first you don't succeed, dont bother taking up sky diving.
    This unit is portable when carried.
    it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam.

  11. #431
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    I've taken up a new hobby, snail racing.
    My snail is moving pretty slow so I thought I'd remove his shell for some better aerodynamics.

    turns out he's a bit sluggish
    acegalaxi, Murley, wd40 and 1 others like this.
    Straight roads are for fast bikes - corners are for fast riders!

  12. #432
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    If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
    If at first you don't succeed, dont bother taking up sky diving.
    This unit is portable when carried.
    it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam.

  13. #433
    Moderator Barfridge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Munkers View Post
    If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
    Just don't do it in Cairo, you're be in the Nile
    Munkers likes this.
    For LAMS information and resources - http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/foru...thread-156358/
    For LAMS discussion and to ask questions - http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/foru...thread-143289/

  14. #434
    PBF
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barfridge View Post
    Just don't do it in Cairo, you're be in the Nile
    Wouldn't happen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DreamTheater View Post
    I've taken up a new hobby, snail racing.
    My snail is moving pretty slow so I thought I'd remove his shell for some better aerodynamics.

    turns out he's a bit sluggish
    Fit the Shell with wheels, strap him back inside, paint an 'S' on his back....

    Then just watch that escargot...
    Munkers, Seb and DreamTheater like this.

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    whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

    anyone can roast beef.
    Barfridge likes this.
    (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda awkward

  17. #437
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    There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

    No pun in ten did.
    Magilla and Tonka like this.
    If at first you don't succeed, dont bother taking up sky diving.
    This unit is portable when carried.
    it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam.

  18. #438
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    ^


    A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
    A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
    A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
    The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming
    "What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells' "You're scaring the hell out of all my customers!"
    "I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts!"
    The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
    Nudge, Munkers and DreamTheater like this.

  19. #439
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    how do you titillate an ocelot ? ......... oscillate it's titalot .
    Barfridge and filbert like this.

  20. #440
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    I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
    As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Westen
    When fighting in the wilderness riding a bike, the biggest threats are often the ones you don't see: dehydration, exhaustion, and nerves.

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