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About LinkBacksMy wife thought I would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out she got it all wrong and the programme's called Fact Hunt.
My wife thought I would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out she got it all wrong and the programme's called Fact Hunt.
"Once you can have people more frightened of disorder than tyranny, it enables you to do almost anything you like so far as legislation is concerned." Chief Judge Antoinette Kennedy, 26/3/2010.
"The State must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation." Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf
I figured this one would be more of a pictorial "Dad Joke" than anything else:
Originally Posted by Xavier Lefaux
haha gold
How do you make a hormone?
Dont pay her! (snigger!)
Whats blue and white, and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree?
A fridge in a denim jacket (hyuk!)
Whats black, white, dangerous, and sits in a tree?
A magpie with a machine gun (haw haw!)
"Friends, there comes a time, in every mans life, when he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye.."
What has a wide eyed, stunned expression with mouth agape?
A Dad who finally shows his 6 year olds where he lived when he was 6 years old, only to find out the house has just been demolished. (Its funny for some, I'm sure)
Now that is the mother of all practical jokes if you ask me,.
Last edited by Ozboy; 25-07-2011 at 06:33 PM.
07 MV F4 1000R
09 "Blazing orange" Speed Triple
07 CBR 600RR trackbike
http://www.ozspeedphotography.com/
I can't believe this, my own daughter just texted me a dad joke
Hey Dad, do you want to hear a bird joke?
No? Um ok then..... That was a bit hawkward
Last edited by Tiger1; 28-07-2011 at 07:59 PM.
Why did the next koala fall out of the tree?
Peer group pressure.
One owner. Only driven gently on Sundays. Sold to best offer. First to see will buy. Reward offered for safe return. Coming soon to a cinema near you. Available for a limited time only.
My waterbed broke this morning. Oh, I don't have a waterbed. Bugger.
why did the girl fall of the swing?
She had no arms...
From Mythbusters...
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Spoiler: show
ellE
jenius
LOL. Nice.
"Once you can have people more frightened of disorder than tyranny, it enables you to do almost anything you like so far as legislation is concerned." Chief Judge Antoinette Kennedy, 26/3/2010.
"The State must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation." Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf
Boxx - that one caused me physical pain. Love your work
In life you only get one lap, might as well make it a good one.
Buy my stuff, everything now half price - http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/foru...woofer-144818/
What do you call a girl with a runny nose?
Full
Farrider #41
I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings,
I'm a drunk, I go to parties.
Dad - I once got a job making clown's shoes
Son - How did you get that job?
Dad - let me tell you - it was no small feet
.................................................. .....................
These Korean meatballs really are the dog's b*##*cks
And these insect legs - they're the Bee's knees
.................................................. ..................
Dad - look kids, there's a flock of cows
Kids - No dad it's herd of cows
Dad - Of course I've heard of cows - there's a flock of them over there.
.................................................. ........................................
Im at work and im was like
Then I was like
*dad with older kids joke*
Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
You can dump your load in a washing machine and it doesn't follow you round for 3 days...
Buy my Leyland P76 - Anything but ordinary
http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/balca...-v8/1000650942
Dad: My jacket is made of felt
Kid: No it's not
Dad: Yes it is, touch it
Kid: ok *touches jacket*
Dad: See, now it's felt!
Translate 'choose my side' into Afrikaans.
"Once you can have people more frightened of disorder than tyranny, it enables you to do almost anything you like so far as legislation is concerned." Chief Judge Antoinette Kennedy, 26/3/2010.
"The State must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation." Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf
Came home from the newsagent on Sunday morning and asked the wife what she would do if I won Lotto.
She said she would take half and leave me.
So I handed her $10 and said good bye.
Came home from work this evening to find my wife at the door with her bags packed waiting for a taxi.
I said "WHere are you going?"
She replied "I'm off to America as I hear girls get paid $100 for sex"
I said Wait here, and I went inside and came back out with my bags and stood next to her and waited for the taxi.
She asked "What are you doing?"
I replied "I want to see how you survive on $200 a year."
Jap Bike Show Presents for 2012:
5th Jap Bike Show - Sunday 25th March Whiteman Park Caversham Celebrating 40yrs of the Z1.
Muscle Bike Muster - 2nd June 2012 - "All Things Muscle"
Details at: www.japbikeshow.com.au
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