A whole bunch of ghey questions...slightly lol worthy WARNING: possible repost!!

[Walley]

If you have s *x with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone

believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And m y FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place

?

~~~Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!~~~

****A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!****

[barfridge]

your punishment for subjecting us to yet another tired old email list, is to go through that post, and remove every colour and font tag.

I couldn't read half of it because of the colours, but I'm sure I didn't miss out on much

[MarkMark]

If you have s *x with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

[Melchior]

Urgh chain mail. Yeah some laughs...but sooo old. Also, the huge font makes normal text look tiny

[FJ Steve]

bloody hell...you get the same spam chain mail as me

[Maxo]

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place

?

[goofy]

Originally Posted by Walley

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

it's MeLLes fault

[Desmogod]

Originally Posted by Walley

If you have s *x with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

If I rape your mum in opposition to this thread, will I get a high five from everyone who reads it?

[russkigreg]

If you have s *x with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Petty theft if it's a streetwalker, shoplifting in a brothel.

Can you cry under water?

Yes. Ever been kicked in the balls in a pool?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

They need to have been on about four shitty political ads that come on in the middle of a good movie. Which is why people kill them.

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Inflation and taxes dude, just like everything

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

No, you get a white robe and a harp. Don't you know anything?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

The retards at pizza hut have enough trouble putting together a flat pack square box, i'd hate to see them try a round one.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

It was running around and rolling in its own shit for a good portion of its life.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

What? That's a stupid question.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

Cos you can have sex in the same room as a baby and it usually won't wake up.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If we kill the retard who wrote this one, is it murder or a mercy killing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Ah, but movies then get shown ON tv... gotcha.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Point them at your nearest apartment building, idiot.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

They get more money for the webcam recordings if they're not in them.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Cos bra is an abbreviation.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Charcoal cleans you out. Try it.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

For the same reason there's one about Cottoneye Joe. Rednecks.


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

He's a professor, not a naval architect.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

Pluto recieves.

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Product giveaways, that's why the shit never worked.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Babies. Duh.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

No, but this question sure did.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

To answer the question, I don't have the mp3 recordings available and couldn't be bothered youtubing them.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Not even going to bother.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Yeah, he's trying to bite riders. Put the window up before he gets punched in the head.

Why, Why, Why

I don't know.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

It's a scientific fact that it induces more electricity out of it, as the remote gets scared that you're going to crush it.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Cos they're cunts.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

They can't be bothered counting, and they can wipe the paint on your back when you turn around.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Cos recycling needles is disgusting, just like the fucker that's getting killed. Besides, considering he's going to shit himself as he dies, I think he's probably dirty enough?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Gillette - a man's best friend.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Fuckin revolvers hurt dude!

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do Busa riders wear helmets? Same effect really.

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

Dunno, but it's funny.

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

You know back in primary school where there was that one REALLY slow kid...

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Bullshit, try food colouring

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Yeah, the day that rugs aren't as well.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Hopefully there's a half naked chick with stiff nipples in there too.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why else do you have a vacuum cleaner? I'm just checking none of my douchebag housemates have glued it to the floor.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

You're trying the wrong end, retard. Work in retail for long enough, you'll get the hang of it.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Flying or crawling are the accepted mechanisms. That or teleportation.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

I do. Then I call them a douchecunt.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

You're obviously too retarded to survive. Natural selection has a means to an end.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Because it's WINTER. And that means it's FUCKING COLD.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Cos your father-in-law is usually sitting with you, having a beer and bitching about his wife.



Fuck, can you tell I have stuff due for uni??

[~JC~]

Originally Posted by russkigreg

Fuck, can you tell I have stuff due for uni??

Fuck, how come when you can't seem to write 50 words for a uni assignment...all that shit ^^^^ seems so appealing??

I feel your pain

[MattyA]

aww mate ive got tears with those answers ,hilarious!

[russkigreg]

Originally Posted by JustCharlie

Fuck, how come when you can't seem to write 50 words for a uni assignment...all that shit ^^^^ seems so appealing??

Cos it took me half an hour to do that... then half an hour laying in my hammock outside... and now i'm back here looking at remote sensing methods and airborne gravity surveys and really not motivated.

Might rewrite some of my answers...

[XSorXpire]

Thinking about how you feel lying in a hamock would cover both remote sensing and airbourne gravity wouldn't it?
All you would have to do is record the feelings from each time you have lay in the hamock and your assignment would be done, surely.

[sathid]

If your name is Walley, do you have to be one?

[blitz]

Originally Posted by Desmogod

If I rape your mum in opposition to this thread, will I get a high five from everyone who reads it?

probably

[russkigreg]

Originally Posted by Desmogod

If I rape your mum in opposition to this thread, will I get a high five from everyone who reads it?

Depends if it's petty theft or shoplifting I guess.