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22-07-2008, 10:24 PM
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#21 (permalink)
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Rhythm guitarist for 'Electric Clit Finder'.
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,886
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"....and the next morning I noticed the warts doc."
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卐 卐 "Listen, you fuzzy little shit head. I've been fucked around in my time by a fairly good cross-section of mean-tempered rule-crazy cops, and now, it's my turn. So fuck you officer. I'm in charge." 卐 卐
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22-07-2008, 10:25 PM
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#22 (permalink)
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08 Blade
Join Date: May 2006
Location: at the pub
Posts: 3,559
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rofl
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FREE TIBET*
*With puchase of another Tibet of equal or lesser value.
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23-07-2008, 07:03 AM
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#23 (permalink)
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2003 R1 & 2007 R6
Join Date: May 2006
Location: PSB Cafe
Posts: 13,279
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XSorXpire
I hear what you are saying.
I've never been a pool cleaner before..
The gagging comment was based on the "Oh my" prior. She was trying to take all of it. (I never knew a chick could get your balls in her mouth too, i need to find me a woman with a bigger head and a deeper throat).
More base in description.
O.K.
I'll definately give it a go. Now i know i can get it up here (boom boom tish) i dont see why i cant be more depraved.
More base like this? /
Or is that a bit angry?
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Sounds like a rape to me. Not my cup of tea really. When writing erotica you are describing unleashed passion...not degrading the female. As woman are the biggest readers of erotica...you wont win them with this style...well most...some love it...I dont.
Oh and the line ' like a horse chewing hay she wanted my finger'  had me laughing.....not the effect you want really to keep a flow of erotisism. |
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23-07-2008, 07:05 AM
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#24 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Stirling
Posts: 4,577
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FG - please post pics of your Mills & Boon collection ?  |
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23-07-2008, 07:13 AM
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#25 (permalink)
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2003 R1 & 2007 R6
Join Date: May 2006
Location: PSB Cafe
Posts: 13,279
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TORQ
FG - please post pics of your Mills & Boon collection ? |
Pfft sif Mills & Boon...... |
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23-07-2008, 07:17 AM
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#26 (permalink)
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Kawasaki 'GPX FTW'
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Hamersley
Posts: 2,902
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tin Tin
hmmm not bad actualy. I was expecting some mediocre attempt with about 5 lines.
also
NSW = New South Wales
NWS = Not Work Safe |
New South Wales and Not Work Safe are actually often one and the same 
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- Spuddy
add me on msn: spudd_alicious AT hotmail DOT com
Quote:
Originally Posted by XSorXpire
My cookies are secure! They are in my jeans bitch!
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23-07-2008, 08:20 AM
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#27 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: I'm on the internet, mum!
Posts: 1,160
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fastgirl
The start to middle is a bit Mills & Boons...where I think it picked up
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You sound like you've been beta'ing slashfic in an SGA fandom or something... 
__________________
It is worth remembering that when a person dies, his or her funeral contributes to the Gross Domestic Product, even though they are no longer there.
- David James
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23-07-2008, 08:21 AM
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#28 (permalink)
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2003 R1 & 2007 R6
Join Date: May 2006
Location: PSB Cafe
Posts: 13,279
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juffy
You sound like you've been beta'ing slashfic in an SGA fandom or something... |
whaa? sprekkin ze english????  |
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23-07-2008, 08:39 AM
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#29 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SoR
Posts: 268
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Quote:
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Dolph you tend to buy the scene compilation tapes instead of the actual movies, right?
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But really, who's got the time nowadays?
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I was asked to take part in a Marathon once... I told them to P**s Off
"It's for the deaf and disabled kids", they said.
I thought, "Hang on a sec.... I could win this....."
Last edited by dolph; 23-07-2008 at 08:40 AM.
Reason: forgot the quote. makes no sense.
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23-07-2008, 09:15 AM
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#30 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 884
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Great job, too bad you missed the Erotic Stories competition we ran some time ago...
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23-07-2008, 09:40 AM
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#31 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fastgirl
Sounds like a rape to me. Not my cup of tea really. When writing erotica you are describing unleashed passion...not degrading the female. As woman are the biggest readers of erotica...you wont win them with this style...well most...some love it...I dont.
Oh and the line ' like a horse chewing hay she wanted my finger' had me laughing.....not the effect you want really to keep a flow of erotisism. |
Isn't the whole point to erotic fiction, I'm guessing it's fictions, is to take you away from reality and send you to a darker place in your mind that is only in your thoughts? If so, not to be harsh, but bitches like to be fucked! We all want a man to sweep us off our feet but that is a "real life" fantasy.. Erotic porn stuff is darker than that..
Just my thoughts..
Never been much an erotica reader coz they all crack my up with there, "glistening eyes" and "flower". get a bit nasty with out being degrading..
But to start...there is some good shit. |
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23-07-2008, 09:56 AM
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#32 (permalink)
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2003 R1 & 2007 R6
Join Date: May 2006
Location: PSB Cafe
Posts: 13,279
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Ahh but the ''glistening eyes'' and ''flower'' are Romantic fiction....not erotica....big difference. I personally dont like Romantic..its boring. Erotica is totally different....its more base in describing passion and sex...it is joining fucking and making love together with a couple...you need both for a good story...so readers are more drawn into a good story. Joining fantasy with everyday life is a good combination.
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23-07-2008, 10:24 AM
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#33 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SoR
Posts: 268
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__________________
I was asked to take part in a Marathon once... I told them to P**s Off
"It's for the deaf and disabled kids", they said.
I thought, "Hang on a sec.... I could win this....."
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23-07-2008, 10:31 AM
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#34 (permalink)
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K9 Moby Dick
Join Date: May 2004
Location: AU
Posts: 2,407
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Btw, since it IS the babes thread XS...
Not that there's anything wrong with your pron. Just... y'know, the rules need to be adhered to...
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Destroying everything for a better tomorrow!
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23-07-2008, 10:32 AM
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#35 (permalink)
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ShedFullaDeadZeds
Join Date: May 2006
Location: out of left field
Posts: 7,242
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I'm happy to gain opinion on writing styles.
Lets face it, i failed high school english, i could use some help.
I can see what both you both are saying Sal and Fastgirl, I guess it is the search for a happy medium, or a target audience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferris
Btw, since it IS the babes thread XS...
Not that there's anything wrong with your pron. Just... y'know, the rules need to be adhered to... |
Fair call, it was suggested i put it in here with a "NWS" tag, so i did.
I don't mind if it gets moved.
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I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than closed by belief.
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23-07-2008, 10:36 AM
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#36 (permalink)
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K9 Moby Dick
Join Date: May 2004
Location: AU
Posts: 2,407
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Haha man, I'm just playin' wit' chew.
(but srsly, post sum boobs.)
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Destroying everything for a better tomorrow!
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23-07-2008, 11:40 AM
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#37 (permalink)
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Its got two wheels
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 1,218
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Up until a couple of years ago I wrote Erotica,
if you are serious PM me I will give you some contacts to submit your writing
and you also get paid for some of it too.
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23-07-2008, 11:44 AM
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#38 (permalink)
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Its got two wheels
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 1,218
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a good erotic story?
close your eyes after reading it, imagine what that person in the story is doing to you, if you think you can feel their hands on your body then you know they have hit the mark.
its more about describing the sensual touching and discribing the feelings when they touch your body than reading words about having sex,
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23-07-2008, 10:54 PM
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#39 (permalink)
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Gixxers, yammys etc
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NOR
Posts: 71
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Um.. do people actually get off reading this stuff? Like buy books of it? Excuse my ignorance, I just thought with the abundance of pornography available on the internet that this sort of thing would be kinda analogue technology?
Nice writing btw, proof that failing things in highschool doesnt mean your not good at it.
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23-07-2008, 11:01 PM
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#40 (permalink)
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Foetus Blade
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Gosnells.
Posts: 1,057
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Different people get off differently. The effect of a well written story is astonishing.
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God's in His heaven, all's right with the world.
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