A sad day.

[tangary]

New here at PSB but not new to the sadness of losing a member of family. Sincere and heartfelt condolences. Your dad will live on in every breath you take.

[Uncle Ho]

you had an opportunity some us don't get to have.. I was o/s when my Dad died...

condolences Neil...

[Cam]

Our deepest condolences Neil.

[XSorXpire]

It started with a growl, then an almighty ROAR. I walked to my bedroom door.

In front of me was a small closed in veranda then the bathroom.

To my left was the kitchen and its lair.

I was two steps into the veranda when it appeared.

I froze on the spot, trapped by fear.

He turned to his left. Empowered by rage he tore the bathroom door from its hinges with his right hand, stormed forward flicking away the closed shower curtain with his left and punched the virgin sacrifice in the face with a demonic straight right.
As her knees buckled he grabbed her hair with his left hand and slammed another straight right into her head.

It was at this point an angel stepped in and grabbed his shoulders.

He shrugged her off and smashed another straight right into the virgins head before letting her drop to the floor like a wet rag.

The angel tried to grab him again, but he was too powerful. He fired his right elbow over his shoulder, then his left. He turned around and fired a RIGHT LEFT RIGHT combination that sent the angel to the floor unconscious. He turned again, bent his left knee and drove his right boot into the virgin’s stomach.

After two long breaths he turned to leave the bathroom and there I was. Facing him.
I could see the demon in his deep black eyes.
He looked at me and visibly softened.
“You’re my boy” he said and walked past me to drink from his sacred chalice.

---------

I wanted to say goodbye to my father in the hospital before he died.
At first I sat back, quietly watching mum talk to him.
When I said hello he moved his head. I said a couple more things and he appeared to be trying to find me. This made mum smile as he had not stirred much while she talked this time.
So I said the usual time filling things one says when they don’t know what to say.
It was obvious he could hear my voice.
I wondered if he understood what I was saying, but I said goodbye.

I was called by the hospital a couple days later and told that I should come that day.
I had been thinking about what I should have said since I left the hospital.

Mum was there as usual and dad once again responded to my voice.
This time I asked mum if I could have some time alone with him.
I was sitting next to him holding him by the hand as he lay calmly and I told him the truth.
As I cried my way through the things I had to say my mind played a collage of my most significant memories involving him. The story above being one of the strongest.
I told him no matter how hard I looked I struggled to find anything we shared or did together that I treasured and that I was sorry for not trying harder to be more of a son.

I don’t know how to describe it, but he was really agitated by what was going on. It was as though he was trying to get up and say something but his body wouldn’t let him.
I finished what I had to say and said “Now I have to say the words ‘I forgive you’ or I’m going to regret it. I don’t know why, but I know I have to. So I forgive you”.
As I got up to leave he held his arm in the air and started making noises, it would have taken nearly all his strength. Walking around the bed it was obvious he did not want to leave it there, so I took his hand and sat again.
He held my hand (kind of) tight and I believe that he heard me. Finally after all the years of denial he saw the truth.
It was all I ever wanted.
I sat there until I felt my thoughts just going around in circles, I said good bye again and left.
I was glad I had done it.

Two days later the voice in my head said “you need to go see him”.

I now know he had something special to share with me.
I believe he called out to my guardian angels.
He wanted to share the last moments of his life with me.

It is something I will forever cherish.

Perhaps that was his dying wish.

[DAVA]

XS thats some of the most moving prose i've every read. Thank you for having the courage to share.
I am deeply touched by that.

[Xuaxace]

This is one of the most moving things ive ever read,
Hope your alright XS, my deepest condolences to you and your family.
Glad you shared such a personal thing.

[FJ Steve]

***tears***

So much respect for you and your Dad....beautiful

[seadan44]

The hurt will slowly diminish with time but, it's memories like that will last with you forever. 8 years ago I lost my Dad to cancer and the most vivid memory I have is the smile on his face as his struggle finally finished.
Our thoughts are with you both
Sean & Daniela

[Mel308]

**** flood of tears **** thankyou for sharing your thoughts it was so moving.

My thoughts are with you and my deepest condolences go out to you and your family during this time.

RIP


xox Melanie

[Guzziboy]

Off topic

XS, you are gifted with the ability to use the written word so effectively to convey your feelings to the reader

If you ever turn your hand to writing a book please let me know-I'm sure that more than one of us here would buy it

Back on topic

Those are three very powerful words-I forgive you-I am sure it lightened the hearts of both of you

[Taz]

To Neil and your mother it is at times like this that you lean on each other for support and also that of your friends and those that know you.....

Condolances to you both and the rest of your family

[Dingo]

Condolences to you both Neil and Joan in your time of loss.

May your father/husband rest in peace.

[-J-]

Neil, Thoughts are with you at this time. If you need anything just ask

Condolences
-J-

[Prodigy]

My deepest condolences neil, i had never met ur father or ur self but i'm sure he was a great man and ur words have choked me up, i'm on the verge of tears. (i know how important it is to have ur father around dont want to think about when mine leaves me) ... hope your alright mate take care to yourself and your family

Marko

[Aisiah]

Absolutely beautifull Neil, so deep and special. May you and your mother find the strength you need now and later.

People are right about your writing abilities.

[kyliejane]

sorry to hear neil, thoughts are with you and your family *hugs*