17-11-2004, 06:20 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Ducati D16RR | Yamaha R1SP | Vespa GTS250ie
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: SOR
Posts: 9,147
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Turtle Trainer (EXAMPLE)
Hi...
My names Deej. You may know me from movies such as “Please Stand Up” and “I got the Power”.
I train turtles. I am the 3rd generation of turtle trainer in my family like my father before me and his before him. Turtles can live to be 150 to 200 years old so you can’t train them in one life time.
I consider myself the best in the business so if you have a turtle you would like trained, I can take care of obedience training for all common species of turtles - other than the Horsfield's Tortoise (Testudo horsfieldii). They originated from Pakistan & Iran and tend to be a little suicidal.
For PSB users I offer a 10% discount on all pre-mixed Reptile Food.
I can be contacted via PM or Email at deej@perthstreetbikes.com.
Deej
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So on the eight day, after wasting time faffing about with unimportant guff like heaven & earth & the waters & sky & creatures [& having a wee kip] & man.... God created PSB (GenesiSX-R1000)
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21-09-2007, 06:54 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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2001 Ducati 748R
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 18,255
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I have a turtle, and he refuses to cock his leg whilst urinating.
How do I resolve this rather embarrassing scenario?
Many thanks.
__________________
- 2001 748R - Ohlins suspension - Ohlins steering damper - 996 barrels and heads - Vee Two cams - Ported head by Vee Two to corse specs - Vee Two pistons - Vee Two enlarged valves - Titanium I beam conrods - Lightened crank - CF air box and tubes -60mm throttle bodies - 52mm termi system - Corse 4 post slipper clutch -
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21-09-2007, 07:11 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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f4izzle.
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Heathridge
Posts: 6,890
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what the shit
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21-09-2007, 07:12 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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2001 Ducati 748R
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 18,255
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Nah, he shits fine.
__________________
- 2001 748R - Ohlins suspension - Ohlins steering damper - 996 barrels and heads - Vee Two cams - Ported head by Vee Two to corse specs - Vee Two pistons - Vee Two enlarged valves - Titanium I beam conrods - Lightened crank - CF air box and tubes -60mm throttle bodies - 52mm termi system - Corse 4 post slipper clutch -
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21-09-2007, 07:30 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Bentley
Posts: 8,893
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Is your turtle as old as this thread? I hear they can get very old. Perhaps arthritis is setting in? Incontinence would further complicate things.
Perhaps you could put some piranhas in your tank, and then put your turtle in it. Bit of exercise would do him good.
__________________
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation to detail.
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22-09-2007, 01:56 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: The Vines
Posts: 631
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WTF
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22-09-2007, 02:26 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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2000 ZZR600 (work); 2006 ZX6R (play)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Lynwood
Posts: 5,616
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Deej my turtle is always very grumpy in the morning. What do I do with him? He won't sit at the table either and he dislikes cats.
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DURRR ALL UR BASE DURR LOL
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22-09-2007, 06:21 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Esperance/Freo
Posts: 1,934
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How much to get it to cook?
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22-09-2007, 08:43 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Ducati D16RR | Yamaha R1SP | Vespa GTS250ie
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: SOR
Posts: 9,147
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Quote:
I have a turtle, and he refuses to cock his leg whilst urinating.
How do I resolve this rather embarrassing scenario?
Many thanks.[/b]
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Fear not this can be resolved and is a very common problem with turtles that breed in the Southern Hemisphere. Can you clarify for me the species or if not, that it is from the Southern Hemisphere?
__________________
So on the eight day, after wasting time faffing about with unimportant guff like heaven & earth & the waters & sky & creatures [& having a wee kip] & man.... God created PSB (GenesiSX-R1000)
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26-09-2007, 11:34 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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03 zx636 , Cagiva Mito, X7
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Hamersley
Posts: 1,694
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Deej, what new fun activities can I except from a fully trained turtle? Also what species turtle would be most suited to aquatic Jousting? Idealy I would go for a Leatherback turtle but they are proving difficult to source, being an endangered species and all.
cheers
__________________
I can do anything I want, because i look good in Leather"
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26-09-2007, 11:45 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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2001 Ducati 748R
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 18,255
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Deej, are you a turtle or tortoise trainer?
As far as I am aware, the Tortoise has a huge lifespan, whereas turtles tend to have a lifespan of significantly less, 20-40 years.
I actually have a Sulcata Tortoise (Geochelone sulcata) I believe they are endemic to Africa.
__________________
- 2001 748R - Ohlins suspension - Ohlins steering damper - 996 barrels and heads - Vee Two cams - Ported head by Vee Two to corse specs - Vee Two pistons - Vee Two enlarged valves - Titanium I beam conrods - Lightened crank - CF air box and tubes -60mm throttle bodies - 52mm termi system - Corse 4 post slipper clutch -
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26-09-2007, 11:54 AM
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#12 (permalink)
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GSXR1000 Fighter, S1 Buell being rebuilt into?
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The right side of divorce :-)
Posts: 3,837
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I think day time drugs should be banned!
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Real Men Ride Nakid
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26-09-2007, 12:36 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,574
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Quote:
Deej, are you a turtle or tortoise trainer?
As far as I am aware, the Tortoise has a huge lifespan, whereas turtles tend to have a lifespan of significantly less, 20-40 years.
I actually have a Sulcata Tortoise (Geochelone sulcata) I believe they are endemic to Africa.[/b]
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Look, whos the turtle expert - him or you? 
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26-09-2007, 01:15 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Ducati D16RR | Yamaha R1SP | Vespa GTS250ie
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: SOR
Posts: 9,147
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I think u lot need to keep away from Google & Wikipedia....
For some reason I get the feeling you are taking the mik out of my livelihood?
My late great great grandfather would take great offence
__________________
So on the eight day, after wasting time faffing about with unimportant guff like heaven & earth & the waters & sky & creatures [& having a wee kip] & man.... God created PSB (GenesiSX-R1000)
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26-09-2007, 01:23 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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2001 Ducati 748R
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 18,255
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But it's turtles all the way down, right?
__________________
- 2001 748R - Ohlins suspension - Ohlins steering damper - 996 barrels and heads - Vee Two cams - Ported head by Vee Two to corse specs - Vee Two pistons - Vee Two enlarged valves - Titanium I beam conrods - Lightened crank - CF air box and tubes -60mm throttle bodies - 52mm termi system - Corse 4 post slipper clutch -
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26-09-2007, 02:16 PM
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#16 (permalink)
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K9 Moby Dick
Join Date: May 2004
Location: AU
Posts: 2,343
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Ooo, a terry pratchet reference. Kudos.
__________________
Destroying everything for a better tomorrow!
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26-09-2007, 02:18 PM
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#17 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 12,498
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And I missed it 
"The turtle moves..."
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26-09-2007, 02:45 PM
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#18 (permalink)
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2003 R1 & 2007 R6
Join Date: May 2006
Location: PSB Cafe
Posts: 13,070
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Quote:
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Every time i play with my turtle, he spits out a milky like substance... How can i prevent this??? [/b]
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Get a baseball bat and thump it on the head everytime you see it twitch? |
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26-09-2007, 02:52 PM
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#19 (permalink)
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2001 Ducati 748R
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mexico
Posts: 18,255
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Quote:
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Ooo, a terry pratchet reference. Kudos.[/b]
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Clicky
__________________
- 2001 748R - Ohlins suspension - Ohlins steering damper - 996 barrels and heads - Vee Two cams - Ported head by Vee Two to corse specs - Vee Two pistons - Vee Two enlarged valves - Titanium I beam conrods - Lightened crank - CF air box and tubes -60mm throttle bodies - 52mm termi system - Corse 4 post slipper clutch -
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26-09-2007, 02:59 PM
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#20 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,574
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Quote:
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Ooo, a terry pratchet reference. Kudos.[/b]
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Clicky
[/b][/quote]I assume thats where Terry got it from.
He is obviously a very well read guy and there are millions of references to real world observations throughout his books.
Its all a social commentary on this planet.
I'm sure there are thousands of references I have missed because I'm not knowledgeable/interested in that particular area.
He is a legend! 
Best writer bar none! (conclusive research conducted by and on, me.  )
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