Turtle Trainer

[Deej]

Hi...

My names Deej. You may know me from movies such as “Please Stand Up” and “I got the Power”.

I train turtles. I am the 3rd generation of turtle trainer in my family like my father before me and his before him. Turtles can live to be 150 to 200 years old so you can’t train them in one life time.

I consider myself the best in the business so if you have a turtle you would like trained, I can take care of obedience training for all common species of turtles - other than the Horsfield's Tortoise (Testudo horsfieldii). They originated from Pakistan & Iran and tend to be a little suicidal.

For PSB users I offer a 10% discount on all pre-mixed Reptile Food.

I can be contacted via PM or Email at deej@perthstreetbikes.com.

Deej

[Desmo]

I have a turtle, and he refuses to cock his leg whilst urinating.
How do I resolve this rather embarrassing scenario?
Many thanks.

[Davey]

what the shit

[Desmo]

Nah, he shits fine.

[sathid]

Is your turtle as old as this thread? I hear they can get very old. Perhaps arthritis is setting in? Incontinence would further complicate things.

Perhaps you could put some piranhas in your tank, and then put your turtle in it. Bit of exercise would do him good.

[jabba]

WTF

[Scoundrel]

Deej my turtle is always very grumpy in the morning. What do I do with him? He won't sit at the table either and he dislikes cats.

[Pricey]

How much to get it to cook?

[Deej]

I have a turtle, and he refuses to cock his leg whilst urinating.
How do I resolve this rather embarrassing scenario?
Many thanks.[/b]

Fear not this can be resolved and is a very common problem with turtles that breed in the Southern Hemisphere. Can you clarify for me the species or if not, that it is from the Southern Hemisphere?

[Mr M00se]

Deej, what new fun activities can I except from a fully trained turtle? Also what species turtle would be most suited to aquatic Jousting? Idealy I would go for a Leatherback turtle but they are proving difficult to source, being an endangered species and all.
cheers

[Desmo]

Deej, are you a turtle or tortoise trainer?
As far as I am aware, the Tortoise has a huge lifespan, whereas turtles tend to have a lifespan of significantly less, 20-40 years.
I actually have a Sulcata Tortoise (Geochelone sulcata) I believe they are endemic to Africa.

[Billywhizz]

I think day time drugs should be banned!

[xphread]

Deej, are you a turtle or tortoise trainer?
As far as I am aware, the Tortoise has a huge lifespan, whereas turtles tend to have a lifespan of significantly less, 20-40 years.
I actually have a Sulcata Tortoise (Geochelone sulcata) I believe they are endemic to Africa.[/b]

Look, whos the turtle expert - him or you?

[Deej]

I think u lot need to keep away from Google & Wikipedia....

For some reason I get the feeling you are taking the mik out of my livelihood?

My late great great grandfather would take great offence

[Desmo]

But it's turtles all the way down, right?

[Ferris]

Ooo, a terry pratchet reference. Kudos.

[Captain Starfish]

And I missed it

"The turtle moves..."

[PBB]

Every time i play with my turtle, he spits out a milky like substance... How can i prevent this???

[Fastgirl]

Every time i play with my turtle, he spits out a milky like substance... How can i prevent this??? [/b]

Get a baseball bat and thump it on the head everytime you see it twitch?

[Desmo]

Ooo, a terry pratchet reference. Kudos.[/b]

Clicky