HBRWTK: How much should you change for someone?

[HotelBushranger]

How much do you think you should change your behaviour for your partner? I don't mean pretending to be a Ford fan when you're a complete diehard Holden person or something, but things like not smoking around them, toning down any foul language/swearing etc. Or should it be that you shouldn't have to change if they're your true love blahblahhippycrap

[jules_1972]

ZERO change..............

[t bone]

I pride myself on this is me take it or leave it.
But there is a certain amount of common courtesy required.
Like any thing time and place

[chief wiggum]

they should change to suit you

[Desmo]

Change because they want you to, or evolution of yourself?

[Tamika]

If someone changes it should be because they want to, not because someone else wants them to.

[Maxo]

I'm guessing you've met a female that (collectively)
- doesn't want you to smoke around her
- doesn't want you to do any form of psychoactive substance ever again
- doesn't want you to say cunt around her
- doesn't want you to look at pornography or masturbate
- doesn't want you to look at other women at all
- will check your phone regularly to see you are not straying from the path
- will only have sex with the lights out
- (as above) in missionary position
- spits

- wants you to tell every girl you meet within 2 minutes that you are taken.

..?

[dirt_infected]

I was warming up to say 'zero change' but when I saw your example of quitting smoking, thought twice.

If its a positive change that you would like to do anyway, and you do it for them as well as yourself, can't see the harm in the extra motivation.

Should you change an aspect of yourself/your life you are comfortable with just for them? Fuck no.

[HotelBushranger]

Disclaimer: Don't actually smoke, was just an example Well it's good that you all think the same as me, but maybe that's what's contributing to my lack of womens .

Just on top of that Maxo, I hate women who don't drink, makes me feel like they're judging me all the time.

[BERT]

ZERO change..............

Spoken like a true divorcee
I agree with this and Tbone

Bert

[Desmo]

So you are judging them because they don't drink?

[Rich]

Change because they want you to, or evolution of yourself?

Nicely put...

If you decide to "grow"...

Then its not the same as being told to change...

[willy_109]

Nicely put...

If you decide to "grow"...

Then its not the same as being told to change...

im kind of going through this being 18 and all, plus theres this chicky im trying to keep in my good books

Mind you if you do play up once in a while ie, get insanely drunk or just have "fun" if they dont like it then tell them to jam a fat one, if they dont mind theyll get over it

[Sprint]

20 year anniversary coming up next month - i didn't pretend to be anyone/anything else from the outset, hence didn't ever need to change.
Some people put on an act with others, it must be a real pain when they tire of the facade and need to do some weird slow-release morphing routine into who they really are.
Summary: Be yourself... you're one of a kind.

S.

[HotelBushranger]

So you are judging them because they don't drink?

Perhaps, but I'm just being myself Or maybe it's just the non-drinkers I know happen to be a certain sort.

Summary: Be yourself... you're one of a kind.

[Crimson]

zero change, because if it doesn't work out you'll come our worse then you went in *sobs*

[Kryzaach]

The key to personal evolution:

Don't substitute someone else's bullshit for your own.

[Rider]

Depands what changes they want you to make. If the changes will good for you and inprove you as a person/quality of life style i say go for it BUT make sure you have a list of things you want her to do/not to do/improve on, i think you get my drift

[Smiffy]

If its a positive change then fine but if its something completely unreasonable that changes your personality or you as a person don't bother. Be who you are because someone out there will appreciate you for you and not what the lass can 'make you into'.

[Melchior]

Depands what changes they want you to make. If the changes will good for you and inprove you as a person/quality of life style i say go for it BUT make sure you have a list of things you want her to do/not to do/improve on, i think you get my drift

Agree with that.

If you someone wants you to change to make you a better partner to them, sooner or later they will realise that you arent what they actually want and you pretended to be someone else for no reason.