STWTK Do you have friends or just aquaintances?

[SpeedTrip]

Food for thought.
Of the people you think you know well, how many of them would you consider real friends or just aquaintances?
Recent situational changes have made me wonder.

[CitizenD]

Somebody let you down, Chief?

[Cam]

I've probably got a dozen people that would help me hide a body. I think that's pretty damn lucky.

[spudda]

Yep im with cam^^^ lots of shovels and lime makes light work.

Boarding school is an amazing place for those types of friendships.

[Dragon_05]

I have very few friends and aquaintances though my facebook say other wise but I'm more of a loner do most things alone.

[GETAGRIP]

Probably have half a dozen people that I would call true friends, the rest fall in the the 'mates' category. In saying that, I value my mates as much as I do my true friends, I just wouldn't be as upset if when push came to shove we had to go our separate ways.

[shan]

About 3 would kill for me with little or no question. (just an expresion )
There are outhers that are freinds . these are a greater number.
Many people I know well.
Few I truly trust. Its often better to know someone than trust them.

[SpeedTrip]

So how do you really know who are 'mates' and who are friends, or do you wait till push comes to shove and see who stands by you?

[Sweetcheeks]

So how do you really know who are 'mates' and who are friends, or do you wait till push comes to shove and see who stands by you?

I have prob about half a dozen that i would do absolutely anything for and vise versa (this has been proved on several occasions now). Many i class as aquaintances.

Always hard to know which category they fall into hun. Sometimes you think people are true friends and it is only those times when you really need them that you realise they aren't.

[shan]

So how do you really know who are 'mates' and who are friends, or do you wait till push comes to shove and see who stands by you?

Pritty much
Time with people , knowing them . Standing the tests of life and seeing first hand who is really who.
There is no magic potion that reveils charecter.
Wish there was.

[jules_1972]

Many Friends, cant count them all!!!!

[GETAGRIP]

So how do you really know who are 'mates' and who are friends, or do you wait till push comes to shove and see who stands by you?

With friends, I think you pretty much know from regular interaction, small every day trials and issues. People that will drop anything for you just because they know you would do the same, if you have any doubts at all that they won't be there when push comes to shove they would go into the mates category.

The half dozen or so people I would class as true friends would do anything for me and I would do the same for them, a good "trial" thought would be ending up unemployed/redundant , who would stand by your side doing whatever they can until you got back on your feet? That would be a good start to being put in the true friend category.

[SpeedTrip]

Part 3: Does age matter with friendship?
Do you feel that a large age difference makes a matter in true friendship or are your true friends only of your same age group? (i.e. +- 5 years)

[CitizenD]

So how do you really know who are 'mates' and who are friends, or do you wait till push comes to shove and see who stands by you?

You don't usually. In my experience it's largely up to the people involved. I have several people around me that I consider friends, people I'm comfortable confiding in, some I can even ask for help when I need it. They'll offer before I ask in many cases, these friends differ from acquaintances mainly because they know me, they know my moods, my idiosyncrasies and to a degree how I think and the values I hold. Their approach is often one of making sure that I am sorted, rather than merely some worldly problem that may have popped up. These friends I consider family. Blood is irrelevant.

That said, amongst those friends are people I virtually never speak with any more because our lives have diverged to the point we have little common ground. Outwardly we probably wouldn't be considered friendly, but when it falls apart, they're there even if it's just to keep an eye on me.

Plenty of mates and friends will help you do something or offer advice on what you should do but may not actually subscribe to your particular view of the world or goals. Despite many years of being mates/friends you remain, at your core, two fundamentally different people. Often when these differences come up and they don't show support or disagree with your methods, rationale or actions we're quick to feel a sense of betrayal or feel we overestimated the relationship. In reality it's just a difference in opinion or philosophy where they don't feel comfortable compromising their values or maybe supporting yours.

When this happens I think it's a good time for introspection and maybe re-evaluate a few things and maybe alter your own perspective. If after this you still feel justified in how you feel, than at least you have someone that will voice their disagreement when they think you're embarking upon folly. Sycophants offer nothing but superficial support and enable destructive behaviours.

Then again, sometimes people walk away because they think you're a prick. So it goes.

[Gixxerguy]

I think I have 2 true friends who would do anything for me and I'd do anything for. Another 2 or 3 'friends' who I do consider friends but wouldn't put all that much faith in. The rest are just aquaintances and drinking buddies.

[GETAGRIP]

Part 3: Does age matter with friendship?
Do you feel that a large age difference makes a matter in true friendship or are your true friends only of your same age group? (i.e. +- 5 years)

In my opinion, no. The youngest in my half dozen is 21 the oldest being 37. For reference I am currently 22. Unsure how I will feel about a negative age gap and have a few years to find out.

[Dragon_05]

I don't think age matter with friendship I have a friend who is 11yrs older than me and others who are 12yrs younger than me it just depends on how you get along, most of my other friends from school are my age or 1 yr younger but only 2 live in Perth the other 2 are not here.

But out of all my friends I think I have only 1 true friend she lives in Denmark we have been friends since kindy so 29yrs now she is the only one who stood by me when my family didn't and she knows I will always be there for her too.

[Jack0207]

Have both.

Could count on around 5 or so friends that would drop everything they were doing to help me out no matter in the world I was. These friends range from people who are close (next street and see pretty much every day), to people I haven't spoken to in about 5yrs or so due to reasons but when we do get together it is like there has been no time lapse.

Plenty of acquaintances - some that I am extremely happy to stay at arms length from

How do you know if they will stand by you? Guess it comes from really knowing that person and being a true friend to them........Hard to explain really.

[Brendon]

I try to treat people equally, regardless. This obviously leaves much room for people to take advantage. But what may appear to be taking advantage of generosity, effort, whatever doesn't always make them not a friend. eg. I basically support a good mate who bludged off me and a few other of our friends for the last for 16 years (same age), he's hopelessy unemployable, contributes nothing to society, and probably never will, but will always have time for you, never betray trust, and other things which more than balance his bludging out.

Same time, tryhards may try to impress with a big ego, or usually just a big wallet, but a vapid empty cunts who suck the life out of you

Its hard to say who your 'real friends' are until a situation arises to test it. And just because someone is a good friend, doesn't mean they will always be. I prefer to take shit as it comes and don't try to second guess people. If I need to dispose of a body, I'm a good enough friend not to involve anyone else

And age doesn't really matter, though the younger friend will be more impetuous and may have a different attitude to the friendship than the older person due to limited experiences in life?

[Stephan]

I got about half a dozen very good friends, who would do anything for me and vice versa, a dozen or so friends I would stop what I'm doing to help them and the others are aquaintences, who I help, but when I am free only.

I think, when you are really down, that's when you find out who you're true friends are. They are there to help you, don't judge you at all and give you support unconditionally.