TRWTK: What is your zombie survival plan?

[Cam]

Zombies have struck. Cities are over-run and nowhere is safe.

What do you have access to and what can you MacGyver together (yeah, MacGyver is a verb) to survive the undead monsters?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address. Bonus points for illustrations. Best submissions get a seat on my Anti-zombie-bus.

[speed3]

YOU STOLE MY THREAD BITCH.

Have discussed this in great detail with brownclown. Basic plan swing by swanbourne on the way to the coast and get loaded with guns etc then move to rotto and build a sea wall. Rotto has wind turbine & waste treatment plant. Small enough to easily secure. Old Barracks for accommodation. Barges from cockburn sound for supplies early on.

Also what version of apocalypse are we talking here? True zombies or 28 days later infection style?


As for weapons. There's a nice stihl chainsaw 30m from my desk with a dozen other blunt force tye objects (hammers, shovels, picks etc). I'd go the coveralls for chemical spraying, face mask used when whipper snipping, chainsaw and a trusty cyclone shovel. Game on.

coveralls.jpgchainsaw.jpg

replace the log with a zombie and you get the idea.

[Captain Starfish]

UTFSE, N0Ob Motherfuck, it wasn't a plan thread, it was a "what would you do if one came through the window thread".

Sorry, Sir Rexington.

Personally, I would steal a yacht and go all waterworld.

[Phildo]

Stand out the front of the house with big signs, with slogans such as, "What bike should I buy next?" and, "Who does bike insurance?".

They'll run for the hills then.

[Hewie]

[speed3]

[gunn parker]

Have you guys read World War Z? Everything you need to know is in there. Even why Rotto and going Waterworld may not work out.

It's a good read.

[Maxo]

Have you guys read World War Z? why Rotto and going Waterworld may not work out.

:O

Why not?

[Taylor]

I don't think the Swanbourne barracks are going to let you swan in and help yourself to their weapons at the best of time, let alone when there are hordes of roaming infectious fellos threatening to breach their containment lines.

The house has rollershutters and double brick. We'll lock up, determine fall back points in key bedrooms with three solid walls and then wait for the bacteria in their bodies to produce so much waste gas that their skin ruptures and they become unable to move.

[mekon]

Should have been something about ensuring Bill Murray was in fact a member of the undead before making a wrong decision.

Zombies can walk underwater and they would eventually find an anchor chain to climb up.

Take over some sort of awesome bunker, stock up on food and drink, fuel, vehicles and awesome weaponry. Maybe live in that Swedish seed bank, or wherever it is. Possibly an oil rig.

[Cam]

:O

Why not?

From memory in the book the zombies don't drown (well.. because they're zombies) and they just wander around on the ocean floor until they hit land again.

The real problem for me would be zombie sharks. What if they bit a shark, that shark becomes a zombie and is then unkillable? Can zombieism cross species?

[shv]

Personally, I believe the video games and movies have it wrong. They tend to go into slaughter-them-all type of survival mode trying to slay as many zombies as possible using the most gruesome and inefficient methods. While this would be fun and would take care of my inherent evolutionary desires to maim everyone around me to ensure my own survival, I believe it would be ineffective.

Zombies have one key advantage: Numbers. They are a swarm. They have near 6 billion people to flood straight at you. They will find you and they will devour you. Yes, you can somewhat hold them off with a chainsaw, building such a large wall of dead Zombie carcasses that they can't get to you, but it's just a delaying tactic. One thing you can always be certain of is this: The Zombies are coming.

Now, I have one distinct advantage. It is not greater technology, or rugged good looks, or the fact that I'm not a subplot character or mentor figure that will be killed off. These are all minor advantages which I possess. My biggest advantage is that I still have a brain. Most stupid teenage models shoved into a Zombie situation seem to be both startlingly aware of this fact, whilst also being completely ignorant of it. What I mean is, they know the Zombies are coming to eat their brains and must stop this in some fashion, but they don't realise that they can use their brains. They can use them. Zombies are stupid. They don't have brains. They ate them.

Using my vast intellect compared to the rest of the Zombie population, I would start by identifying their behavior. What makes them not attack and eat each other? Is it a primal pack mentality? Or is it something biological? Can I mimic this? Once I learn how to mimic whatever it is that identifies that they are a Zombie, I can walk freely amongst them without fear of molestation. You never know, the Zombie that could be sawing your scull open and feasting on the gooey goodness inside might be quite a nice fellow. You could enjoy a game of croquet or a Zombie gang rape together. You may even be his best friend if you take the time to really get to know him and what makes him groan the most.

Once I have been accepted as one of them, I will slowly start a 1 man insurgency. I will start by identifying the alpha males; all of them. Once I know which alpha male is key to my plans, I will worm my way into his favor, whether it be bring him a nice bowl of brain sorbet, or killing his rival in the most ritualistic way possible. Together, using my brains and his Zombie braun, we will eliminate the competition. Eventually, it will be just me and him, enjoying our vast Zombie empire, Zombie hoes dropping rotten cherries into our mouths and fanning us with taped together Zombie movie DVD cases. We will treat our Zombie constituents properly, make sure they have adequate entertainment as to remain complacent, whilst violently punishing anyone who toes the line.

When I get bored of my new lifestyle I will leave and attempt to restore our lands to their once great society. I will have the political freedom to roam the lands. Everyone will know me as King Zombies right hand man and will leave me be. I will search for any survivors and teach them how to live in our new society. Together we will slowly infiltrate the Zombie government and take it over, using my Zombie King friend as a puppet. This will give us the power to implement new changes and policies. We will limit Zombie breeding whilst ramping up our own numbers. Eventually there will be an outright rebellion by the Zombies, but by that time it will not be just me. We will have an entire army of Brainers, matching numbers with numbers.

With large numbers, along with our weapons, intuition and good looks, we will be victorious. We will survive.

[speed3]

Have you guys read World War Z? Everything you need to know is in there. Even why Rotto and going Waterworld may not work out.

It's a good read.

Hence the need for a wall as well as regular patrols arouund the beach.

[Captain Starfish]

Or never dropping anchor, and having a speedy getaway reserve.

[gunn parker]

Hence the need for a wall as well as regular patrols arouund the beach.

Patrols inside the wall would be better, accross the top of your wall.

Once I have been accepted as one of them, I will slowly start a 1 man insurgency. I will start by identifying the alpha males; all of them.

Zombies will sniff you out, once you eat or take a piss or something.

From memory in the book the zombies don't drown (well.. because they're zombies) and they just wander around on the ocean floor until they hit land again.

The real problem for me would be zombie sharks. What if they bit a shark, that shark becomes a zombie and is then unkillable? Can zombieism cross species?

The mutant gene, I forget what is is does not cross species I think, from memory. And this is all taken from the book so it's all just talk anyway

[edit]
HERE is a good break down of the book chapter by chapter and the virus is called Solanum

[officer down]

I'd have to 'Buddy-Up' and put a team together inglorious basterds style.

Slightly off topic but check out this lovely couples engagement pics - Zombie Attack Engagement Photos

The couple that slays together stays together.

[Cam]

I'd have to 'Buddy-Up' and put a team together inglorious basterds style.

[Professor Redfern]

The real problem for me would be zombie sharks. What if they bit a shark, that shark becomes a zombie and is then unkillable? Can zombieism cross species?

This actually happened in real life and was filmed by Jacques Cousteau.

[=Stevo=]

this:

stick.jpg


to get me to this zombie-slaying beauty:

IMG_4967a.jpg

and then on to my old mans boat... or the nearest yacht I can find to steal.

[browncow]

I'd have to 'Buddy-Up' and put a team together inglorious basterds style.

Slightly off topic but check out this lovely couples engagement pics - Zombie Attack Engagement Photos

The couple that slays together stays together.

Ive never met you Tom, but I can safely say there not a single man on this earth I'd sooner have in my Zombie survival arsenal than you. If you got bit, I'd kill you in a hearbeat.

Yachts, straight to rotto. There's a good number of defensible locations plus there are plentiful natural resources to use to build a wall. 2 m tall, surrounding the entire settlement. Its a big ask but the plan is long term survival. The only advantage Australia has over northern hemisphere countries is also our weakness; namely our climate. Zombies will decompose faster in the heat of summer, but we will not be afforded the winter reprieve that countries above the snow line will be..

Weapons wise, a sharp blade, a pole weapon and a crossbow.