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Thread: TSWTK: What is fair revenge for someone fucking up my lawn for no reason?

  1. 02-11-2011, 03:38 PM #1
    The Saint
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    TSWTK: What is fair revenge for someone fucking up my lawn for no reason?

    I've had my fair share of gripes within 500m of my house with people dumping screws off the back of their work utes, playing loud music at ungodly hours, one even let his dog shit on my lawn as he was going around a roundabout (but that was brushed off by the dog owner when he had a look and said "its OK mate - my pooch isnt damaged" and walked off). And I had another last night.

    Some dude dumped a bottle of brake fluid / diesel / weed killer or something on my lawn. He wasn't even remotely acting without an intent to fuck up my beautiful grass. I recognised the guy, I'm sure he rides a Street Triple and lives a couple of streets away. He then strolled away muttering "revenge, motherfucker" like some kind of loon.

    Now I'm a pretty decent guy who respects others so I have no idea why someone would want to do damage to my property like that. They might have mixed me up with someone else or something, I have no idea.

    Oh, and to top it off some cunt has parked his car in my driveway since 11pm last night so I can't even get mine out of the garage to go to work! I had to get the girlfriend to give me a lift in this morning. Hopefully he will have shifted it by this afternoon.

    Just wondering what the general consensus is on this - I'm loathe to damage anything of the guy who fucked up my lawn permanently, but for a guy whose vehicle is easily recognisable and may be followed to another location, would an accidentally dropped bottle of brake fluid on a bike's bikini fairing or some snapped levers be over the top?

    What would you do?
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  2. 02-11-2011, 03:42 PM #2
    g0zer
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    oic

    BSWTK: What is fair revenge for a near miss?
    Last edited by g0zer; 02-11-2011 at 03:52 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bendito View Post
    If we get to a stop and we are missing a dozen bikes and you are last, it was your fault. Don't be that guy. No one likes that guy.
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  3. 02-11-2011, 03:47 PM #3
    mekon
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    Tim, I can't imagine you doing anything that would warrant 'revenge'. I think mistaken identity, or a perceived slight against him. Might be best to ask him what the issue is. In an open area with witnesses.

    Oh hang on, I forgot where I was. Shoot the cunt in the knee then use a claw hammer to bust open his other one and tie a rat by its tail to his leg and have it chew on his marrow. Then make him replant all your grass.
    Then finish him however you like. I'm sure some inventive suggestions are just around the corner.
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    Get a load of this pussy, he wouldn't travel back in time to murder a baby.
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  4. 02-11-2011, 03:48 PM #4
    gunn parker
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    Yes what area are you in?
    Sounds like a bad neighborhood to be in.
    Quote Originally Posted by out_in_front View Post
    #4: Pillion gets treated like they are made of glass and irreplaceable - I don't want that shit on my hands if I make a mistake doing something silly.
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  5. 02-11-2011, 03:54 PM #5
    emrys74
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    imagesCAGQCLMS.jpg

    Bit much ? least the car will be moved.
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  6. 02-11-2011, 03:55 PM #6
    Captain Starfish
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    Suspect an inside joke here, but just in case it's not all bullshit:

    Don't go overboard. It's pretty easy to get het up at the sight of this. So many possible reasons and reason will see you through this tough time, Sainty. See if you can find where he lives, then pay him a visit. Ask, calmly, if there's a reason for the dumping or there's a problem with you. Calmly discuss the issue, and leave. Then, calmly wait for a night where he's asleep at home and then, calmly, fill the car left in your driveway with petrol, push it into the other guy's driveway and, calmly, use it to set fire to his house. Wins all around.
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  7. 02-11-2011, 04:00 PM #7
    Algy
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    jack the car up and place bricks under there so his tyres are just a couple of mm above the ground
    or
    unscrew all the nuts on his tyres
    or other things like sugar in the fuel tank etc etc
    Hungry Shark + Stupid Human = Full Shark + Dead human
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  8. 02-11-2011, 04:03 PM #8
    I Fancy Holidays
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    Kidnap wife/daughter/son and lock away in basement and use as sex slave.
    Project: Fix my tard! Now with extra porn!
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  9. 02-11-2011, 04:05 PM #9
    benspoon
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    1. Go home
    2. replant grass
    3. Get on with life
    wolfette likes this.
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  10. 02-11-2011, 04:13 PM #10
    Commander Keen
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    You'll probably see him around a bit, if you catch him on the road try and turn right in front of him crossing over his lane and taking up all the room. This usually spooks them enough to lock up the front and drop the bike.
    Pretend to not see him go down
    LOL all the way home.
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  11. 02-11-2011, 04:15 PM #11
    The Saint
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunn parker View Post
    Yes what area are you in?
    Sounds like a bad neighborhood to be in.
    Dianella represent

    Quote Originally Posted by Commander Keen View Post
    You'll probably see him around a bit, if you catch him on the road try and turn right in front of him crossing over his lane and taking up all the room. This usually spooks them enough to lock up the front and drop the bike.
    Pretend to not see him go down
    LOL all the way home.
    Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
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  12. 02-11-2011, 04:17 PM #12
    benspoon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commander Keen View Post
    turn right in front of him
    Too far.
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  13. 02-11-2011, 04:59 PM #13
    Princess deb
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    TS must be trolling, no circumstances would compel him to call a girl the next morning.



    Back on topic: everything mekon said plus rooting the most conveniently located married woman. If that doesn't work, castrate his firstborn child, and if you can't shake the bad joo-joo from that, castrate his unborn child. You know it makes sense.
    Last edited by Princess deb; 02-11-2011 at 05:08 PM.
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  14. 02-11-2011, 05:03 PM #14
    Emily
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    Depends: are you a lover or a fighter?
    "I'm not like most girls." - Most girls.
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  15. 02-11-2011, 05:04 PM #15
    Brendon
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  16. 02-11-2011, 05:12 PM #16
    BigTim
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    edit: Yeah, should've known it wasn't legit.
    Last edited by BigTim; 02-11-2011 at 06:20 PM.
    FTP
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  17. 02-11-2011, 05:18 PM #17
    Mirkz
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    Call the cops/council about the car on the driveway. Report that it's been abandoned there and you can't get in/out of your own driveway.

    Then watch as the council or whoever tows it and costs the pricks money.

    A mate of mine did this, it took a couple of days or something though, but cost the person HEAPS if they ever wanted to get the car back.

    But seriously, that sounds messed up.
    Move the fuck out.. lol.
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  18. 02-11-2011, 05:41 PM #18
    Rich
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  19. 02-11-2011, 05:50 PM #19
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  20. 02-11-2011, 06:00 PM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deborah View Post
    TS must be trolling, no circumstances would compel him to call a girl the next morning.
    .
    ... Let alone answer her calls or texts in the ensuing weeks...




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