zwtk : how do you deal with telemarketers?

[Roger Explosion]

So only a while ago, I receive a call. Fucking telemarketer!!!!
Normally I cut them off , tell them politely I am not interested and hang up.

Today I tried a different tactic. I pretended I was mildly retarded and deaf.
I continually asked her to repeat her questions and then acted completely confused by them. In the end she was explaining the things to me as if I was a child. I kept her on the line for nearly ten minutes before telling her I had better ask my mum and hanging up.

Whats your favorite way to deal with these annoyin buggers?

[lee]

I just hang up, as soon as they start their sales pitch. I'm sure it's as rude as it gets, but I barely EVER get a repeat phone call, and if so, I do it again. They learn

[Aphex]

Depends on my mood.

a) Hang up as soon as I realise its one of "them"
b) Ask them where they're calling from and who their supervisor is. (They usually wont answer and will hang up. Or if they do, they're often calling from Brisbane in Victoria)
c) Ask them to tell me all about it and put them on hold. (They're often still rattling on 5 minutes later)

[CitizenD]

Tell them "Hang on, I'll just go get the person you should be talking to."

I then put them on hold and resume my life.

I am working on having our "Hold" recording replaced by an audiobook version of Mein Kampf but our tech guy is a bit nervous about it.

[Murley]

Try to order a Big Mac meal. INSIST that it's to "dine-in"

[shmoo]

"not interested. dont call again" and hang up.

[[DR34M3R]]

"I am house sitting"

[MADOGA]

Free phone sex if their female telemarketers.

[XSorXpire]

How do I deal with telemarketers?

Every night at about 10pm one if them sends me an email with some names, their addresses and a time to be there.
Nine out ten people that I sit in front of end up coming into our office to learn how to pay there homes off quicker and save tax.
Three or four a week don't qualify for what we do and one or two are not home.

1 person per hundred phone calls listens to the spiel, one in four will have us come see them.
They are used to getting rejection.
But for a part time sit at home job, from what I am told by the owner of the company, they make around $50 to $60k a year.
Plus they never get a phone bill.

The marketing company we use is based in QLD and they work for a couple of Australian businesses.
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[Stephan]

I hang up...

[Maxo]

Tell the telemarketer I am the child in the house and i am going to get my parent.

Tell my girlfriend/housemate it is their mum/girlfriend/work then pass them on.

[FJ Steve]

1. I listen to part of the spiel...
2. then ask them to hang on...
3. and go about my business (make coffee...do normal shit),
4. go back and check if they are still there, and when they start to gob off,
5. I go back to step 2 (rinse, repeat)

it's been quiet lately...maybe that "Do Not Call Register" has actually worked.

[Lefty]

Marketer: "Is that lefty?"

lefty: "no, hang on a tick, I'll just go get him for you"

lefty puts the phone down, leaves them on the line and goes back to doing whatever what he was before the phone call.

The winner so far is about 8 minutes.

[goof]

https://www.donotcall.gov.au/

What telemarketers?

[Maxo]

What telemarketers?

Unfortunately the money-raisers and survey callers are still able to call.

[Morgs]

https://www.donotcall.gov.au/

What telemarketers?

Unfortunately the money-raisers and survey callers are still able to call.

True, but it cut our telemarketing calls down to virtually none, when we were getting calls most evenings.


I think this is the best way to deal with the ones that do get through:
Telemarketer in a murder investigation | s-anand.net

[Zaffira]

Depending on my mood...
I either just say no and hang up before their spiel starts.
Or
I'll say you want to ask me some questions? That's ok but if you get to ask me stuff I get to ask you stuff...I get to go first. Here's my first question are you a boxer's or a jockeys type of guy? (or g string or bikini if it's a girl).
Then they get a turn
Then my questions just get ruder and more obscene until I get to the "want me to come to your house and do you good?" But they've usually hung up way before that.

[WIGARUS]

I have hardly had any telemarketers call me, but last week I got one, and they tried to confuse me by saying, "Oh hi, you might not remember me, we had a meeting but you couldn't attend and I just wanted to catch up with you again if possible blah blah..."

When I found out they were trying to sell me something I went nuts, swore at him and hung up.

[Maxo]

It is never rude to talk to a telemarketer while on the toilet.

[Dazed&Confused]

Telemarketers suck. I also put my number on the do not call register, which has helped a bit, but every once in a while I get one.

Try to have a bit of fun with them. Zaffira's tactic (^^^) is one I may try in the future. LOL