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MrMez
06-10-2005, 07:59 PM
It's Great to be a Souf Efrikan


This is a great country because:

1. You can eat raw half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

4. You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.

5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.

7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

8. Great accent. (!!!)

9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.

10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.

11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called. The police you have to call about three times.

13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

16. Where a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled

19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

Ja nee!! Dis flippen lekker hier!!
(Yes, no its frikkin nice here)
:lol: :lol: :lol:

devil
06-10-2005, 08:31 PM
Shit happens when you oppress people for to long.
At least IF you get caught doing km/h 300 you can
always :D say officer I thought you were a hijacker and probably be right. :D

Scoundrel
06-10-2005, 08:52 PM
What are the gun ownership laws like?? Can you own self loading rifles?

devil
06-10-2005, 09:03 PM
Originally posted by Scoundrel@Oct 6 2005, 08:52 PM
What are the gun ownership laws like?? Can you own self loading rifles?

169169


Free for all, AK47s are very cheap around $20 AU

keez
06-10-2005, 09:10 PM
i was born there....not a good place anymore

TurboR1
06-10-2005, 10:12 PM
Sounds like Papua New Guinea... only difference being a different bunch of white people fucked the country up.

MrMez
06-10-2005, 11:59 PM
Yeah, but white people fuck up loads of countries. Its what we do best.
Australia, America, UK... how far back do u want to go?
Oppressing others is what white ppl do, ok so there has been 'limited' oppressing for the last 20 years or so, big deal, its been going on for hundreds of years be4 that. Im not saying its right, but Australia is probably just as guilty as anyone else.
So now i wait for the 'flame on' :lol: :lol:
PS: I like #5 best

azathoth
07-10-2005, 11:21 AM
#5 is one you can do yourself, get an orange, a syringe and your favorite vodka

inject into the orange, viola! great way to sneak some courage past your local authority

(p.s. people of all skin colours have done plenty of country fuckin' too for as long as we've had the concept of a country)

aaargh1
07-10-2005, 11:25 AM
howsit footsack you laka B) B)

devil
07-10-2005, 12:01 PM
Originally posted by aaargh1@Oct 7 2005, 11:25 AM
howsit footsack you laka B) B)

169417


heh heh heh, you crack me up.
very original though.

MasterTT
07-10-2005, 03:26 PM
Originally posted by MrMez@Oct 6 2005, 07:59 PM


9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.

169127

I would have thought New York, Columbia or Iraq would have been the most dangerous places to live in the world.

Fordy
07-10-2005, 03:35 PM
New York is super safe, columbia you just join a drug cartel and you are untouchable and Iraq hmm well

Davo
07-10-2005, 03:47 PM
Ek is van Suid-Afrika! Bly nou al vyf jaar hier in Perth, dit is flippen lekker hier en ek dink nie ek sal ooit weer in Suid-Afrika gaan bly nie, net vir vakansies!

Ek is van Johannesburg en ek dink nie dit is so erg as wat mense uit maak dit is nie.

Goeie Dag

Davo

(Yes Iím from there, lived in Johannesburg for 17 years) :P

CitizenErased
07-10-2005, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by Davo@Oct 7 2005, 03:47 PM
Ek is van Suid-Afrika! Bly nou al vyf jaar hier in Perth, dit is flippen lekker hier en ek dink nie ek sal ooit weer in Suid-Afrika gaan bly nie, net vir vakansies!

Ek is van Johannesburg en ek dink nie dit is so erg as wat mense uit maak dit is nie.

Goeie Dag

Davo

(Yes Iím from there, lived in Johannesburg for 17 years) :P

169549


Your rugby team blows.

devil
08-10-2005, 12:22 AM
Originally posted by Davo@Oct 7 2005, 03:47 PM
Ek is van Suid-Afrika! Bly nou al vyf jaar hier in Perth, dit is flippen lekker hier en ek dink nie ek sal ooit weer in Suid-Afrika gaan bly nie, net vir vakansies!

Ek is van Johannesburg en ek dink nie dit is so erg as wat mense uit maak dit is nie.

Goeie Dag

Davo

(Yes Iím from there, lived in Johannesburg for 17 years) :P

169549


Me 3, from Durbs also spent 12 years in Swaziland.

BlackICE
08-10-2005, 05:46 AM
Originally posted by devil@Oct 8 2005, 12:22 AM
Me 3, from Durbs also spent 12 years in Swaziland.

169743


From Zim myself, been here for the last 25 years (oh my good I am getting old)....

Oh if anyone is interested in some really great Billtong, try Conway butchers on Orong road in belmont.... great stuff.... you can even buy sudza (no sure on the spelling)

Gryphen
08-10-2005, 07:58 AM
Shit theres a lot of us, my grandfather emigrated from Rhodesia, so grew up with him telling me about 'home'.

Bout the only thing I know is about how I got my middle name, Rhodes, oh yer and that i was named after a little place called Kimberley. :D

devil
08-10-2005, 02:12 PM
Originally posted by Gryphen@Oct 8 2005, 07:58 AM
Shit theres a lot of us, my grandfather emigrated from Rhodesia, so grew up with him telling me about 'home'.

Bout the only thing I know is about how I got my middle name, Rhodes, oh yer and that i was named after a little place called Kimberley. :D

169783

That's funny, I know a few people from Kimberley and it's also refered to
as the big hole, I think S/As now make up just over 10% of Perth population.
Have any of you been to the S/As food festival at the Leedervile, lecker chow
ekse. :P :P my brother has the out of Africa spices business which is becoming very
popular and awesome samoses, the other funny thing is a lot of Aussies are now eating more spicy food than myself.
And that guy Rhodes, he was a very sick man.

Selwin
08-10-2005, 02:28 PM
hier is nog een! :rolleyes:

been here just under 4 years now... dont think i would go back if it saved my life!!

stories i haer from my mates and family there :angry: shit... makes me wanna hurt someone!

anyway, good to know i'm among good company :D

lekker ry manne! bly trots om Suid Afrikaans te wees! B) ons is die bulle in hierdie land :lol:

devil
08-10-2005, 02:40 PM
Welcome to the land of the best looking babes, and bring on those hot summer nights.