View Full Version : Crap Poetry and Dogrel Thread

21-11-2012, 11:21 PM
Spill it out here. Not art, just what is in the gut and the language you know. Cryptic as you want or as expressive as you wish to share.

This could all go horribly wrong (please no PSB battles here) or just a place to wax lyrical.

Exhibit A for example..

This space,
That is me,
Is less than a breath, it seems,
More an exhalation than an inspiration,
And meaning fleets away, too quick for my slow feet,
As I stumble over worth, it greets me with hindsight,
Every fucking day,
And the measure is balanced by my inaction,
Familial traction,
In every way.

This space,
Has a flavour,
And yet no filling,
So much to love and so unwilling,
No trust, in my decision,
Family is such division.

Shit, that rhymed
So not anymore, since that is a bore,
And why should my bullshit dilemma,
Be worthy of lore?

Not at all, just part of the Passion Play...

JETHRO TULL - Intro & Skating Away on the Thin Ice of the New Day [LIVE FROM HIPPODROME,LONDON 1977] - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqZ8QMe4Wjg)

21-11-2012, 11:25 PM
Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

If you're looking for meaning in this poem,

Then bad luck for you.

22-11-2012, 07:28 AM

22-11-2012, 07:35 AM
How about some romantic poetry?

The roses were dying
The violets were dead
I bought you these chocolates
So that you'd give me head a cuddle.

22-11-2012, 10:17 AM
Not a poem but a limmerick from my childhood....

There was an old man from Leeds, who ate a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour his dick was a flower and his balls were a garden o' weeds.

....It's the only one I remember.

22-11-2012, 10:52 AM
Not crap buy really cool lyrics , to me absolute poetry.
from IRON MAIDEN " the evil that men do "

Love is a razor and I walked the line On that silver blade
Slept in the dust with his daughter Her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence
But I will pray for her, I will call her name out loud
I would bleed for her, if only I could see her now

The next verse isnot as good

Circle of fire my baptism of joy and at an end it seems
The seventh lamb slain, the book of life opens before me
But I will pray for you and some day I may return
I would bleed for her, if I could only make you learn

22-11-2012, 09:22 PM
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.They lay. They rotted. They turnedAround occasionally.Bits of flesh dropped off them fromTime to time.And sank into the pool's mire.They also smelt a great deal.

Paul Neil Milne Johnstone

22-11-2012, 09:32 PM
Rose are tits
Violets are tits
I like tits
Tits, tits, tits.

Makes me tear up every time.

22-11-2012, 09:40 PM
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a fuckin' nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do

Old frt
22-11-2012, 10:05 PM
My love sits on the garden swing, reading her book, that is her thing.
I await her patiently because I can see
The clock has struck seven
And I want me fucking tea.

22-11-2012, 10:17 PM
haikus are the best
other poetry sucks arse
i really hate it

23-11-2012, 09:04 AM
How about some romantic poetry?

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Ah fuck it.

You'll do.

Mr Bean
23-11-2012, 08:50 PM
An Australian bush poem about tomatoes.

I know a Muslim whose name is Jim,
I really love throwing tomatoes at him,
Tomatoes are soft & don't hurt the skin,
But these fuckers do, 'cos they're still in the tin!

Mr Bean
23-11-2012, 08:51 PM
*Double post*

23-11-2012, 09:28 PM
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
Life can be fine if we both sixty nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
And play 'til we're blown away

M Python

Geez, I love the classics

23-11-2012, 09:36 PM
^ works better with the score :)


23-11-2012, 09:44 PM
^ It works even better when serenaded by the entire local rugby team at a post match celebration in a small pub in The Mumbles, Wales, but I guess you had to be there ;)

Old frt
23-11-2012, 10:24 PM
^ It works even better when serenaded by the entire local rugby team in Mumbles but I guess you had to be there ;)

Mumbles? I guess it's hard to enunciate clearly with a mouthful...

23-11-2012, 11:25 PM
Who would think,
That some would sink,
To my drunken ramble,

Sometimes I find,
It will sharpen my mind,
and yet I have no rhyme,
to that ill-chosen word "ramble"

Yes, I am only constructing in this thread,
A space for others, and myself, to shed,
It is not art,
More a metaphysical fart,

Does it need to rhyme?
Fuck no!
Does it have to meme?
Fuck no!

This place is to craft your pains,
(and your joys)
Into words,
That build like toys,
Into something bigger.

In essence,
this thread's presence,
Is that every word is measured,
From a place within,
Fun, fancy, fail, or win,
It comes from the heart, or the head,
But tempered to the metre,
To reign us in,
To life's harsh theatre.

(in other words, here is the place to make no sense, or challenge others to make of it as they will ;) )

Old frt
24-11-2012, 06:44 AM
Who would think,
That some would sink,
To my drunken ramble,

Sometimes I find,
It will sharpen my mind,
and yet I have no rhyme,
to that ill-chosen word "ramble"

No word to rhyme with "ramble"?
In your Friday night preamble
Try shamble or amble for examble
You're pissed again I'll gamble.