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View Full Version : oh hai PSB, help me to enlightenment



thro
24-12-2012, 06:04 PM
ok so i am currently not religious and am feelign left out with the seasons's festivities


i'm looking for a religion that gives me promises of heavenly afterlife, but i don't have time to actually go to church or bomb people or any shit like that

also, i don't want a single deity and the basis of my faith should not depend on "YOU CANT DISPROIVE IT SO IT MUST BE TRUE!!"


ok go...

Skut
24-12-2012, 06:07 PM
Hinduism.

Too easy ;)

SpeedTrip
24-12-2012, 06:10 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asUyK6JWt9U

thro
24-12-2012, 06:11 PM
so karma means i can treat others like shit and assume they deserve it (otherwise they wouldn't be copping the brunt of it)?

Sprint
24-12-2012, 06:14 PM
i don't want a single deity




Jainism.

S.

thro
24-12-2012, 06:16 PM
sorry founders like like transexuals

80863

rod
24-12-2012, 06:23 PM
Mormonism :D

Edit: whoops, forgot about the single/multiple deity thing.

Old frt
24-12-2012, 06:24 PM
Rastafarianism Mon

SpeedTrip
24-12-2012, 06:28 PM
Taoism.
600 Billion chinese can't be wrong, can they?

devolved
24-12-2012, 06:38 PM
Ganesha welcomes you.

http://scriptures.ru/india/murtis/ganesha2.jpg

Commander Keen
24-12-2012, 06:43 PM
Pastafarianism

I Like ( . Y . )
24-12-2012, 06:50 PM
Buddhism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism)

no deity just a guy that wanted peace and inner harmony, dont have to pray to him or collect money just be well.

Blazon
24-12-2012, 06:57 PM
dudeism (http://dudeism.com/)


there is no substitute
:thumbsup:

Sprint
24-12-2012, 06:58 PM
sorry founders like like transexuals

80863

I'd hit it.
The one with the most Duke.

S.

Rich...
24-12-2012, 07:34 PM
Why be a follower...

Create your own religion and be a leader...

Desmo
24-12-2012, 07:37 PM
Scientism, you will forever live on in future stars, everything and everywhere is your Church and the many deities are all omnipresent.

Bukefal
24-12-2012, 07:39 PM
why not create a religion of your own?


Why be a follower...

Create your own religion and be a leader...

edit: beaten like a rented mule.

Petro(v)
24-12-2012, 07:48 PM
Go for the one which gives you the biggest boner. Or join a cult. Whichever is quicker.

Nine
24-12-2012, 07:57 PM
Theres always the lams religion. Multiple deities however they're all considered powerless, the followers tend to be the youthful who can't read, no need for martyrdom but after 12 months the followers may begin to worship you depending on the size of deity.

Nine
24-12-2012, 08:01 PM
Also Buddhism,
No deity at all, just some advise from an old bloke to ponder.
You don't burn for having sex (with whoever you please)
No need to go to church... Ever.
It's kinda ok to drink (still debatable)
Brownie points if your nice to people.

BJMac
24-12-2012, 08:05 PM
Dude just try them all and go with the one that works.
Just don't be a dick an pray out of class.

And use the friggin search engine- this has been covered!

CharlieAlpha
24-12-2012, 08:16 PM
I'd like to start a church.

The church of altruism.

Apparently you don't have to pay tax on donations collected.

agrid
24-12-2012, 10:11 PM
Well today I ran over an old lady in Vincent St. After I helped her back on her feet, she wiped the blood off her elbow, thanked me for my kindness, wished me a Merry Christmas, asked God to bless me; and tottered off on her way to the bookshop. Go atheism.

mute
24-12-2012, 11:27 PM
Naturalistic pantheism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalistic_pantheism)

Phildo
25-12-2012, 01:33 AM
Jedi

GreenMeanie
25-12-2012, 07:58 AM
Boganism.

Everyday is scared. Communion can be held at any time, i.e. getting on the piss.

Viper
25-12-2012, 09:55 AM
I'd join a vegan webpage on facebook ... those mofo's put religion to shame when it comes to pushing people around. Bet you'd get enlightenment from them too!

Sunshine & F'n Rainbows
29-12-2012, 08:38 AM
I'd like to start a church.

The church of altruism.

Apparently you don't have to pay tax on donations collected.

This is tougher than you might think.

The requirements are long and unusual, and you'll need to invent some imaginary friends, then convince a few thousand others to play along for a while.

It's easier to make honest money.

CharlieAlpha
29-12-2012, 08:48 AM
This is tougher than you might think.

The requirements are long and unusual, and you'll need to invent some imaginary friends, then convince a few thousand others to play along for a while.

It's easier to make honest money.

I'm sure it is.

Actually it was supposed to be a joke.. how could I establish a church with a focus on altruistic behaviour when I am motivated by tax free money.

Pretty sucky joke I know.

thro
29-12-2012, 10:46 AM
and you'll need to invent some imaginary friends, then convince a few thousand others to play along for a while.


Not hard



It's easier to make honest money.

Tax free?

g0zer
29-12-2012, 10:53 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKTB89cjgo&feature=share&list=FLcZNXeZB5pREFhKbW1FwupQ

Deej
29-12-2012, 12:50 PM
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? (Adams).

Stick with your non belief dude, it's far more exciting to experience the world knowing this is our one and only shot, and when we do go, there ain't nutn other than a good kip and a bunch of genes we leave behind.

AZAZL
29-12-2012, 12:59 PM
kevin bloody wilson the festival of life - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJynygnjMC0)

Pisseduptesticosticles

Captain Starfish
29-12-2012, 04:08 PM
Believe in yourself.

If you're not worth believing in you, then make yourself worthy.

Buddhism would be my pick except for the stench of "here you go, unwashed masses, learn to embrace your poverty as a great thing. We'll help you by keeping all the toys".

Deej
30-12-2012, 12:47 AM
Buddhism would be my pick except for the stench of "here you go, unwashed masses, learn to embrace your poverty as a great thing. We'll help you by keeping all the toys".

That and the reincarnation thing. They were on a good path until it came down to..."ohhh..and PS, keep your Karma tickets handy so you can use them in your next life and cash them in to be reborn as Zuzana Light's workout timer".

AZAZL
30-12-2012, 02:03 AM
Yeah, why did the Buddhists do that. Would have been a reasonable philosophy without it. Life is suffering, there is a path to the end of suffering and all that. Then they spoil it with the reincarnation thing. It's not metaphorical (unless you are a California Hippie buddhist.) They really believe it.

A Buddha friend thought I'd be reincanated as a cockroach. If I was fucking lucky.

mute
30-12-2012, 10:36 AM
Well you do kind of get reincarnated, first the worms and bacteria eat you so you become them for a while, then you become their poop, then you fertilise some vegetation.. and so on. It (reincarnation) comes from the buddhist idea that we are what we are physically, we are not a soul in a physical vessel (like what western philosophy might suggest).

Also buddhists think women are not quite as holy as men. They have their dogma just like Christianity.

thro
30-12-2012, 01:18 PM
Also buddhists think women are not quite as holy as men. They have their dogma just like Christianity.

interesting. How does this benefit me? :D

Kia
31-12-2012, 07:26 PM
You're all wrong! Damn infidels! Everyone knows that Nuwaubianism is the one true religion.

Allow me to enlighten you and save your soul.

Some of our beliefs

1. It is important to bury the afterbirth so that Satan does not use it to make a duplicate of the recently-born child
2. Furthermore, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world
3. People were once perfectly symmetrical and ambidextrous, but then a meteorite struck Earth and tilted its axis causing handedness and shifting the heart off-center in the chest
4. Each of us has seven clones living in different parts of the world
5. Women existed for many generations before they invented men through genetic manipulation
6. Homo sapiens is the result of cloning experiments that were done on Mars using Homo erectus
7. Nikola Tesla came from the planet Venus
8. The Illuminati have nurtured a child, Satan’s son, who was born on 6 June 1966 at the Dakota House on 72nd Street in New York to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis of the Rothschild/Kennedy families. The Pope was present at the birth and performed necromantic ceremonies. The child was raised by former U.S. president Richard Nixon and now lives in Belgium, where it is hooked up bodily to a computer called “The Beast 3M” or “3666.”


That or go with this chick. Hot as hell and kind of crazy. I think I'm in love! <3


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvEJfN-jiS4

shan
31-12-2012, 09:05 PM
There is only one true god
Pastafarianism in the military Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (http://www.venganza.org/2011/07/fsm-in-the-military/)

http://www.venganza.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/mikes-house_thumb1.jpg

shmoob
31-12-2012, 09:25 PM
There is only one true god
Pastafarianism in the military &#171; Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (http://www.venganza.org/2011/07/fsm-in-the-military/)

http://www.venganza.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/mikes-house_thumb1.jpg

Ramen :)

AZAZL
31-12-2012, 09:34 PM
There is only one true god
Pastafarianism in the military Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (http://www.venganza.org/2011/07/fsm-in-the-military/)

http://www.venganza.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/mikes-house_thumb1.jpg




You have been touched by his noodly appendage.

ranmar850
03-01-2013, 06:20 AM
ok so i am currently not religious and am feelign left out with the seasons's festivities


i'm looking for a religion that gives me promises of heavenly afterlife, but i don't have time to actually go to church or bomb people or any shit like that

also, i don't want a single deity and the basis of my faith should not depend on "YOU CANT DISPROIVE IT SO IT MUST BE TRUE!!"


ok go...

Try the church of " Respect for others expressed through making a fucking effort on Punctuation, Spelling and correct use of Caps on the Internet"
Works for me...


Don't take this seriously, I'm not....

fredie
13-02-2013, 01:56 AM
any luck in finding what your looking for ?