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View Full Version : Computer illiterate blondes........



Blade_954
23-03-2004, 10:01 AM
Had to share this with you guys because I'm still in shock. Hewie & Flakey will appreciate this.

I had a call from our receptionist this morning. "Can you please ask people to stop running reports on the computer because it's tieing up the phonelines and no-one can call into Head Office". :shock: :shock:

........the call went silent as my chin hit the floor........

mastrmage
23-03-2004, 10:25 AM
Whaaaaaaaat?! HAHA what a looper!

TRX
23-03-2004, 10:25 AM
:roll: :roll: :?: :?: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

what tha!!!

Hewie
23-03-2004, 10:45 AM
:shock:

HAHAHAHAHA

You should have said ... "oh .. that problem again... just push the "down" lift button" and it will all work fine again. If not ..... Reboot your PC!

Flakey
23-03-2004, 11:10 AM
I know that exact problem.... :D

PEBKAC... :wink:

Hewie
23-03-2004, 11:28 AM
Ace should be able to relate to that one too.

What was the standard response ..

" OMS doesnt work .!! "

" Reboot your machine "

hmmm

PEBKAC ?

Blade_954
23-03-2004, 11:31 AM
actually, my response was "YOU FUC*ING WHAT???". Ok, so I was a little harsh on the dumb biatch..... :lol:

Hewie
23-03-2004, 11:43 AM
she better be a stunner at that rate.

Blade_954
23-03-2004, 11:46 AM
she better be a stunner at that rate.

HAHAHA.......mate, if only you knew....... :lol:

Flakey
23-03-2004, 11:51 AM
Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair

Hewie
23-03-2004, 11:51 AM
she better be a stunner at that rate.

HAHAHA.......mate, if only you knew....... :lol:

We want photographic evidence !!!

Ace
23-03-2004, 02:24 PM
she might have to turn her pc off for an hour to let the hard drive spin down as the high speeds might be causing data corruption :lol: :lol: :lol:

BMaN
23-03-2004, 03:18 PM
OK... Now I work on a Helpdesk, so I understand what it's like... But what was she talking about?! Did you find what the REAL problem was, or what she THOUGHT she was saying? Just writing what she said with no explaination doesn't give much insight (While still being funny!)

bman

Masda74
23-03-2004, 04:13 PM
Maybe i should enlighten you lot a bit.
Some places use VOIP. Voice Over IP. She must of been working at some place before that had VOIP. If the phone system using VOIP is 10baset and not 10/100baset things like that can happen. The phones don't ring or the phone line quality sucks big time. Talking from experience.
When she said that everyone is running reports and the phones aren't working.. well she associated the amount of traffic from the reports, to be creating all the problems. Maybe she ain't as blonde as you think she is???
We had a place that had 10baset VOIP and it was shocking. we had to upgrade them to 10/100baseT for their phones to work okay and the CAD guys to be able to save their work.
Hope that has shed some light.

Ace
23-03-2004, 04:18 PM
no no no you don't understand we are supposed to be taking the piss out of people like this and ridiculing them to never call the helpdesk again EVER! :D

Dubs
23-03-2004, 04:22 PM
masda you frikkin NERD!!!

DUBS

Masda74
23-03-2004, 04:24 PM
Nerd my arse.... I just have experience with the shit.
What you talking about. i ain't no helpdesk nerd like ACE. that is why he don't want them to call the helpdesk up... hahaha

Gonzo
23-03-2004, 04:26 PM
hmmm i dont get it...

does the phone have buttons?

Deza
23-03-2004, 04:30 PM
Im with stupid ^

I dont get it and im in IT err is it just the fact that shes a clueless chick or somthin more to it??

Blade_954
23-03-2004, 05:22 PM
Maybe i should enlighten you lot a bit.
Some places use VOIP. Voice Over IP. She must of been working at some place before that had VOIP. If the phone system using VOIP is 10baset and not 10/100baset things like that can happen. The phones don't ring or the phone line quality sucks big time. Talking from experience.
When she said that everyone is running reports and the phones aren't working.. well she associated the amount of traffic from the reports, to be creating all the problems. Maybe she ain't as blonde as you think she is???
We had a place that had 10baset VOIP and it was shocking. we had to upgrade them to 10/100baseT for their phones to work okay and the CAD guys to be able to save their work.
Hope that has shed some light.

Can I please say that she's the dumbest biatch I ever met? lol
When she says things like "I went out to a seafood restaurant last night" then preceed to ask the waiter if she could have her steak cooked medium-rare, I'd say she wouldn't even know what VoIP was, let alone what it stood for! :lol:

Flakey
23-03-2004, 05:24 PM
Can I please say that she's the dumbest biatch I ever met? lol
When she says things like \"I went out to a seafood restaurant last night\" then preceed to ask the waiter if she could have her steak cooked medium-rare, I'd say she wouldn't even know what VoIP was, let alone what it stood for! :lol:

ROFL :lol:

Gustav
23-03-2004, 05:27 PM
Well, other common requests for support i've had at work from our thickutaries have been ...

My mouse is beeping at me

My computer wont stop growling

What does "ISP" mean

and the best of all, from the Sys Admin at work ...

PHP (ie language this forum uses) means "Pretty High Protection"
- when he should have said "Post Hypertext PreProcessor"

Sometimes people say the dummest things!

Blade_954
23-03-2004, 05:34 PM
One of my favourites....

Thickutary: my mouse cursor wont go to the edge of the screen
me: why the fuk not?
Thickutary: because I run out of desk!

I shit you not....this really happened!! :?

Flakey
23-03-2004, 05:36 PM
[quote]Well, other common requests for support i've had at work from our thickutaries have been ...

My mouse is beeping at me

My computer wont stop growling

What does "ISP" mean

and the best of all, from the Sys Admin at work ...

PHP (ie language this forum uses) means "Pretty High Protection"
- when he should have said "Post Hypertext PreProcessor"

Sometimes people say the dummest things!


*squints*

And write them in dark blue on a black background... :roll:

zipdrive
23-03-2004, 09:21 PM
man... this forum is populated with computer nerds... :lol:

Masda74
23-03-2004, 10:50 PM
man... this forum is populated with computer nerds... :lol:

tell me about it. i don't know how i got this job as a it support helpdesk person. all i do is read lines off the screen... :P
nah just joking.
Blade_954 okay point taken. she's a blonde through and through. No questions asked. Just put her on Hold then. :P

doorman
24-03-2004, 01:24 PM
This will be my 10th year in this sad sad industry and i thought I would join in picking on end (L)users.

These are all true, i sh*t you not...

I put in an SBS about 8 months ago for a client. I get an e-mail from one of the staff, telling me that e-mail isn't sending. Now firstly she's stupid for thinking that it wasn't working. Secondly she's stupid because how did she expect me to get the e-mail?

Just the other day i turn up on site and the pointer is moving around and clicking on stuff on its own on two pcs. I'm thinking PC anywhere, VNC or virus so i shut down all the bits... Turns out they synced their cordless mice together so that one mouse was controlling 3 pcs!

About 3 years ago a customer decides to connect to BigPond (yes, that's stupid enough, but it gets worse). He can't get it working so he rings up and abuses big pong and gets us out to look at it.... My Tech has a look around and says "where's the modem?" The guy says "I have an answering machine" My tech says, "no, you need a modem, little box with lights on it, did you get one with the PC " Guy replies "But i have an answering machine, it has lights on it" it went on and on like that for about 15 minutes, the guy couldn't understand that they were different. My Tech gave up.

Not so long ago I was IT manager for an Oil and Gas company, i had a (blonde) receptionist there that liked make her own decisions. We were running Exchange but she wanted to run Notes, so she used to install all the services in to outlook to connect to a Notes server we didn't have. She said that "A Note is nice than and e-mail" over and over again... luckily she quiet before someone killed her.

I have many more stories, but that's enough for now.... off to find my cattle prod and etherkiller... you guys know what i'm talking about....

http://www.bofh.net

Blade_954
24-03-2004, 03:07 PM
We were running Exchange but she wanted to run Notes, so she used to install all the services in to outlook to connect to a Notes server we didn't have.

HAHAHAHA...............that cracked me up..... :lol:

Pure Power
24-03-2004, 03:11 PM
Can I please say that she's the dumbest biatch I ever met? lol



Pay peanuts and all you will get is monkeys.......should you add that she is only young!!!!

Nasty boys :twisted:

Nemesis
26-03-2004, 07:59 AM
man... this forum is populated with computer nerds... :lol:



With a name like "Zipdrive" it almost sounds like "The pot calling the kettle, Black" ??? :?

And your sitting infront of a computer right now?

Shit, what defines a "Computer Nerd"???

But be careful Deej made this whole site and if you ask me it's F%@ing sick!!! :twisted:

Plus think how much easier "Computer Nerds" are making your life. Yah for the Nerds, I say. :)

All this coming for a person who just finished a Dip in Network Eng and is finishing a Software Eng. course.

Thats my two cents.

*Nemesis quickly sits down with the rest of the Nerds hoping to blend in*

Hewie
26-03-2004, 08:02 AM
Shit, what defines a \"Computer Nerd\"???

The pocket protector and the motorbike !!!



All this coming for a person who just finished a Dip in Network Eng and is finishing a Software Eng. course.


Great just wat we need .. more software engineers ..

ChOOkiE
26-03-2004, 09:00 AM
Computers are my friends! They talk to me and I love them lots! My computer understands me and protects me. Nah, who knows what a computer nerd is.. I think most stereotypes are fucked anyways

FraG
27-03-2004, 01:51 PM
Computers are my friends! They talk to me and I love them lots! My computer understands me and protects me. Nah, who knows what a computer nerd is.. I think most stereotypes are fucked anyways

Meh if you play with linux your a nerd :P
Don't look at me I only have 2/3's of a comp sci degree =)

Mrs Campo
27-03-2004, 09:52 PM
Pay peanuts and all you will get is monkeys.......should you add that she is only young!!!!

Nasty boys :twisted:

Oh i have to agree with you there!!
And what's with the BLONDE bit? I'll have to dye my hair now :cry:

You lot are funny :lol: :lol: :lol: