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View Full Version : Best insults - low brow - NSFW



Captain Starfish
26-06-2009, 09:49 AM
As for the http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/f20/best-insults-high-brow-86267/ thread, but for people who are too fucking stupid to not resort to bad language or racial slurs.

You know, like those thick-as-shit kawasaki owners who are only well hung because that's the only way you can spend every minute with your cock in your hand AND your knuckles dragging on the ground as you lurch aimlessly around your life whilst your two brain cells try desperately to find one another again...

Desmo
26-06-2009, 09:49 AM
Needs a poll troll.

Captain Starfish
26-06-2009, 09:52 AM
Haha, fartface. Troll poll needs options. Provide them. :good:

Maxo
26-06-2009, 09:58 AM
When you're going to insult someone do you stoop to

- Single Expletive
- Brand bashing
- Genital criticism
- Abuse of profession
- Ridicule of intelligence
- Strine' insults (e.g "knuckle-dragger, drongo, blah.. )

Professor Redfern
26-06-2009, 09:58 AM
I have always liked "Fuck off and fuck off now!"

Its simple and to the point.

Aphex
26-06-2009, 09:59 AM
Low brow?

Busted arse gutter slut.

The Saint
26-06-2009, 10:00 AM
Fit in or fuck off

Desmo
26-06-2009, 10:04 AM
"You fucking redneck"

Maxo
26-06-2009, 10:06 AM
I love calling people "git".

The Saint
26-06-2009, 10:08 AM
I've always been somewhat partial to "why don't you make like a tree and fuck off", Biff Tannen style.

Aphex
26-06-2009, 10:08 AM
I find "cunt" to be quite effective.

THE GODFATHER
26-06-2009, 10:09 AM
Dejavu like to call me this one "C&*T muscle fuck face"

chew
26-06-2009, 10:09 AM
When you call someone a cnut and they reply with "At least they are usefull" reply with "Not when they are as big as you their not"

snowflake
26-06-2009, 10:12 AM
My top five favourite insults, in no particular order:

1. Wank Stain
2. Bollocksing piece of shit
3. Dick cheese
4. Cunt flap
5. Smeg breath

Boxx
26-06-2009, 10:13 AM
"Fuck you and everyone that looks like you."

Aphex
26-06-2009, 10:15 AM
You smell like your mothers yeasty cunt.

Captain Starfish
26-06-2009, 10:21 AM
"Cunt" seems to be popular around here.


When you call someone a cnut and they reply with "At least they are usefull" reply with "Not when they are as big as you their not"

Apart from those fuckwits that can't even spell it... :taunt:

Crashlington
26-06-2009, 10:23 AM
YouTube - Guntashunt

edmands_3
26-06-2009, 10:50 AM
We had an awesome moment at work once. There was this guy who was really fat and most people didn't get along with him that well because he was a bit arrogant. When standing over someone elses desk he said something pretty harsh to them (can't remember what it was but I think it was a personal insult). The other guys response was to stand up and yell in his face "how about you go eat a fucking donut you fat cunt." The fat guy didn't know what to do/say, so he just walked off. This was in an office with around 30 people in the middle of the day, so it was pretty funny :P

Captain Starfish
26-06-2009, 10:51 AM
^^^ so does it belong in the "highbrow" thread?

Probably not. But good effort, that man! :lol:

Dr. Venkman
26-06-2009, 11:04 AM
Fuck you, your dog, your budgie and the horse you rode in on.

Shake your head and say "Wow, they did a great job hiding the lobotomy scars"

chew
26-06-2009, 11:09 AM
"Cunt" seems to be popular around here.



Apart from those fuckwits that can't even spell it... :taunt:

Hurumph, some of us cunts pretend to be gentlemen.

Captain Starfish
26-06-2009, 11:16 AM
Not in this thread, chew.

:nono:

Not in this thread...

HotelBushranger
26-06-2009, 11:28 AM
I call my friend cunt-nugget a lot, or cuntrag. Bitches love it.

not faz
26-06-2009, 11:33 AM
When someone is asking a question I like:

"Can your dick touch your arsehole?"
When they say no:
"Well there's your answer"
When they say yes:
"Well go fuck yourself"

Flyboy
26-06-2009, 11:57 AM
Shut your foul whining you filthy piece of disdendant rectum!!!!!!

Mockery
26-06-2009, 12:18 PM
^^^ Red Dwarf, nice...

Was walking down Essex St one night (late) and my mate said to these chicks going the other way "Hey, how's it going?" pretty offensive, I know!

So this one slapper is completely outraged and comes back with
"Aaaah, fuck youse! Youse are fucked! I'll fuck ya face! I'll fuck ya fuckin' face!"

Without thinking I came straight back with "Ha! As if you could find anyone to let you..."
and then I spent the rest of the night wondering whether she understood either what she was saying, or what I said back.

[DR34M3R]
26-06-2009, 12:21 PM
"go practice safe sex.....go fuck yourself"

Maxo
26-06-2009, 12:25 PM
/don brick top thick rimmed glasses and yellow teeth

"Who'er fucks talking to you boy...."

Belltower
26-06-2009, 12:28 PM
-Did your parents have any children that lived, or are they still falling out of your sister's cunt?

-Blow me, but first remove the fingers from your cunt. (

-Get your head the fuck out of your mom's ass and do something productive, *racial slur*



Usually has the power to shock an aggressor into silence and/or action. Be prepared to step on the back foot if you're gonna use them, and only do so if deemed absolutely necessary.

XSorXpire
26-06-2009, 12:30 PM
I wanted to talk to the horses head mate, not the horses arse.


Posted via Mobile Device

Flyboy
26-06-2009, 12:39 PM
I bet you're only on this planet cos your father wouldn't settle for a blowjob.

lo1ux
26-06-2009, 12:44 PM
hmmmm one that comes to me is from one of the boys at work, we where at a pub in roma qld and this bird was walking around thinking she was all that....anyway as we leave full of piss one of the boys walks up and says something along these lines "before i leave i need to say something to you, your nothing but a 2 bit, coon rooting scrag. you come in here teasin all the boys with your tits hangin, just fuck off."

it was priceless to see the look on her face.

Tic
26-06-2009, 12:48 PM
Fuckknuckle is one of my favourites.
Cock Stain.
Cum sipping crack whore.

nothing fancy really.
dont say cunt to often. mum still slaps me upside the head if i say it in front of her.

Deborah
26-06-2009, 12:50 PM
lo1ux: Don't suppose you still have his number, he sounds like a catch.

I like to try and drop the phrase "piss up a rope" into conversation. It pleases me.

Kristy
26-06-2009, 12:55 PM
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit

GSXRossi
26-06-2009, 01:18 PM
here's a spoon (make motion of presenting imaginary spoon) so you can eat my ass

lo1ux
26-06-2009, 01:24 PM
lo1ux: Don't suppose you still have his number, he sounds like a catch.

I like to try and drop the phrase "piss up a rope" into conversation. It pleases me.


lol sorry deb hes taken as far as i know

Melkor
26-06-2009, 01:25 PM
When I was working as WA's finest in Kalgoorlie some of the more tanned members of the Australian Citizenry used to say this to me a lot

"You're fucking racist you white dog cunt, now gimme a smoke"

Irony can be fun in insults.

mekon
26-06-2009, 02:59 PM
I always find that a simple "Cunt!" said with menace of Vinnie Jones as Big Chris (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking barrels) and finger poking in receipient's chest to work well, until they taser you.

Melkor
26-06-2009, 03:49 PM
I quit long before they got tazers :(

man I would have tazered so many people

"Excuse me officer can you direct me to..."

*TAZER*

Captain Starfish
26-06-2009, 04:02 PM
:looks at melkor's avatar again:




.


.

:shudders:

Deborah
26-06-2009, 04:32 PM
Meh. I'd taser my five-year old child if I could.

back on topic: The whole song is a tribute to this thread, but my favourite two lines are "I will be saying this in your defence: I'd rather eat a fridge full of arses than know you" and "I've tried with all my might to see past all your failings, but I fail to give a fuck" (You Can't Move Into My House - Frenzal Rhomb)

crash
26-06-2009, 05:16 PM
one of Chargers classics:

Show some fucking respect , if i was 5 seconds quicker up those stairs i would be your father not the dog

Vincenzo
26-06-2009, 05:32 PM
Pretty tame, but I have always liked an expression my father taught me years ago, which I suspect originally came from my grandfather:

'Jeez mate, if I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its bum & teach it to walk backwards'

Revelations
26-06-2009, 05:40 PM
nothing too harsh, but i was always a fan of 'Why dont you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself'...as seen here...fuck being a very versitile word ^_^
YouTube - The 'F' Word
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCcCzj_yRtk

66
27-06-2009, 12:17 AM
when someone is being a real fuckin know it all self loving prick, or when they are havin a go at ya for what u see as nothing.

"mate im trying to see this from your point of view, but i just cant stick my head that far up my own arse."

Biggles
27-06-2009, 12:23 AM
Fuck you and your children. (must be recited straight-faced, as if deep in conversation)

Anything too long seems to lose meaning in the heat of the moment

The Nurse 40
27-06-2009, 01:10 AM
My top five favourite insults, in no particular order:

1. Wank Stain
2. Bollocksing piece of shit
3. Dick cheese
4. Cunt flap
5. Smeg breath

poooh!!! number 4 smells like it sounds.... yuk

Desmo
27-06-2009, 01:12 AM
Anything from the first half of "Full metal jacket".

XSorXpire
27-06-2009, 03:44 AM
Oxygen thief.


Posted via Mobile Device

Shortfuse
27-06-2009, 03:48 AM
One for the rednecks: "You waste of a white skin".

chance
27-06-2009, 06:37 AM
"Someone said to me today you couldnt make a managers asshole"

"I backed you up though and said you could"

Arwon
27-06-2009, 08:00 AM
from Sudden Impact. Gotta Love Dirty Harry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UznxI3Z4NU8
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFIvsmbfBs0)

mekon
27-06-2009, 09:28 AM
Anything from the first half of "Full metal jacket".

In particular lines from R.Lee Ermey as Gny. Sgt. Hartman

Lacey Nylons
28-06-2009, 09:12 PM
let me guess, your parents are siblings?

The Nurse 40
29-06-2009, 01:42 AM
here's a spoon (make motion of presenting imaginary spoon) so you can eat my ass




ROSSI is a legend!!! Love your namesake ;)

Panza83
29-06-2009, 08:19 AM
Filthy cumdumpster!

Elise
29-06-2009, 08:27 AM
I'm kind of against the c word, I do like the word fuck tho, as previously noted it is quite versatile and that little word in the right sentance can go a long way!

Tic
29-06-2009, 09:06 AM
One iv been using laterly. Usually after myself being insulted.

You know what fella. Ill go for a jog and when i come back you can tongue my sweaty balls.

Or . Iv had the ones where the person in question has threatened to smash my face in.
I tend to say something like. Or you can come over here and toss my salad. and your in luck i wiped properly so there shouldnt be to many surprises.

Rider
29-06-2009, 10:29 AM
You are a Felcher.

digz
29-06-2009, 10:45 AM
-were you dropped a few times when you were a kid
-waste of good air
-are you deaf and stupid the answers no biff

Elise
01-07-2009, 08:00 AM
Starfish - go choke on an anemone! hahaha

Captain Starfish
01-07-2009, 08:12 AM
bahahahaha.

:cray:

Elise
01-07-2009, 08:14 AM
You made me cry, I made u cry! Its a vicious circle!

footer
01-07-2009, 08:17 AM
Your a ankle...(confused look on their face) you know lower than a cunt.

Good to see that your still taking your ugly pills.

Cosimo_Zaretti
01-07-2009, 12:43 PM
"Can your dick touch your arsehole?"
When they say no:
"Well there's your answer"
When they say yes:
"Well go fuck yourself"

A mate of mine lost his virginity to a girl who came up to him at a party and tried that one on him. The girls are classy out Campbelltown way

[DR34M3R]
01-07-2009, 12:47 PM
"fuck you & the horse you rode in on"

Deborah
01-07-2009, 05:10 PM
Make my day: have sex with somebody else

susieq
02-07-2009, 08:12 PM
I don't think I have ever verbally insulted anyone. But, I remember calling out to a neighbour who was watering his horse-hey you, you with the one inch dick, I can see it. I wanted to capture his attention and ask him to ease off the noisy summer partying since we all had not slept for so many days. Worked like a treat.
And I remember the day I was all day at Court and didn't know the split at the back of my dress had ripped up high but not to the heavens, until about four pm when a friend I ran into told me and I replied, Well I am dressed right for the day, everytime I come here they fuck me. Made the night tv news. And the Court clerk was bobbing up and down and smiling like hell.
I suppose my old girlfriends used to tease each other which was probably really termed insults between mates. Just the usual stuff from the eighties like, we know you have to tie a rope around your boyfriends so they don't get lost in there, and she swallowed the titanic.

The Saint
02-07-2009, 08:16 PM
I don't think I have ever verbally insulted anyone.Oh really? What about that time you called out to a neighbour who was watering his horse, "hey you, you with the one inch dick, I can see it"?

Deborah
02-07-2009, 08:20 PM
If I asked you how long you've lived next door to susieq, would that be verbal abuse?

The Saint
02-07-2009, 08:22 PM
Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance to tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance.

Barfridge
02-07-2009, 08:29 PM
Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance to tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance.

susieq, who the fuck is susieq?

susieq
02-07-2009, 08:57 PM
susieq, who the fuck is susieq?

Aha, you see, using the genitalia insult really works on men. Actually, I never saw his dick.
But if you really want I could capture your attention too-oops already did.

susieq
02-07-2009, 08:59 PM
Yeah, I did think long and hard before posting as to whether or not I was insulting him or just capturing his attention by cleverly using language. Was a hard call.

Deborah
02-07-2009, 09:14 PM
http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/members/princess-deb-albums-move-along-nothing-see-here-picture7695-facepalm.jpg

Revelations
03-07-2009, 07:59 AM
I don't think I have ever verbally insulted anyone. But, I remember calling out to a neighbour who was watering his horse-hey you, you with the one inch dick, I can see it. I wanted to capture his attention and ask him to ease off the noisy summer partying since we all had not slept for so many days. Worked like a treat.
And I remember the day I was all day at Court and didn't know the split at the back of my dress had ripped up high but not to the heavens, until about four pm when a friend I ran into told me and I replied, Well I am dressed right for the day, everytime I come here they fuck me. Made the night tv news. And the Court clerk was bobbing up and down and smiling like hell.
I suppose my old girlfriends used to tease each other which was probably really termed insults between mates. Just the usual stuff from the eighties like, we know you have to tie a rope around your boyfriends so they don't get lost in there, and she swallowed the titanic.

just how often do you go to court? for what? :confused:

susieq
05-07-2009, 03:56 AM
I went to Court many years ago, and I had been going to many Courts, and one of them was always a problem. They would stuff everything up and then get on a roll, and were usually too lazy to fix anything they buggered up. I recall they used to cost me a fortune, at least more money than I had to play with. It was the Family Court in the late nineties. On tv they had a reporter talking about how offensive language can be used in an efficent way to create a summary of a complex story, and about the acceptability of that type of language. He said it was plithy.
( my example-how was your day ? A reply-fucked, or, fuckin A. Bad or good with strength and certainty )
I still reckon I am allowed apply to a Court if I knew how to and have the Family Court pay back all their liability towards the costs etc., and then I could afford lots of bikes, and find more exciting places to wear a split skirt.

XSorXpire
05-07-2009, 01:09 PM
Oxygen thief.

Posted via Mobile Device

Cap'n James086
05-07-2009, 02:05 PM
"Cunt" seems to be popular around here.


I prefer poptart. ;)

Scrap
05-07-2009, 07:55 PM
From text message sent whilst in a miisterial meeting:-

"Police just rang, they've found a burnt body. Only distinguishing feature was a tiny penis. Text me back that you're okay."

Sentry
05-07-2009, 08:32 PM
I like the good old "Now thats a nice (insert car brand here). But I didn't know they made them for men"

Phildo
06-07-2009, 05:32 AM
I regularly shit-stir passengers in the taxi that I drive. One particular very attractive young female passenger on Friday night was rather smart and not biting at my various sexist jokes.

During the conversation she commented that she'd recently had a baby.

I looked her over and said, "so, you got three or four kids now?"

Bullseye.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A few weeks ago - three girls sitting in the back seat, all 19 yrs old and on the way to a nightclub. One of the girls was messing with her hair and made the comment that "she's got five fringes".

I looked back and said, "yeah, you look like a gay man." A facial expression of sheer horror resulted, whilst the other two girls were laughing their heads off.

Eventually, the girl has sourced a hair brush from one of the others and brushed her hair repeatedly.

Several minutes later I looked back at her and commented, "hey, I thought you said you were gonna fix your hair up".

The resulting look on her face was one of the funniest things that I've ever seen in my life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Three women in the taxi, all 30ish professional types. I'm yapping away to Sam, who was sitting in the back seat. She asked how old I thought she was. Figuring she was around 30, I said casually "38 or 39".

She went nuts. Her two friends were laughing hysterically. Sam was going off like a volcano.

"Sam, Sam", I said, "calm down... for chick pushing 40 you're looking pretty good."

Turns out that she turned 30 only a few days earlier.

SzyCo
14-08-2009, 01:25 AM
"Fuck off and DIE!!" Simple but I find it effective :) "Fuck Arse" is another favourite, i think it was on a movie....

Harro
14-08-2009, 01:38 AM
I like the old retort to "there's no I in team"

With - "Yeh but there's a u in Cunt though"