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Thread: Today's Dad Joke

  1. #1761
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    I finally started writing a novel.

    My words are running off the pages.

    Liquid paper..?
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  2. #1762
    Member Nudge's Avatar
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    Before I met your mother I used to have a girlfriend with only 9 toes. True story. Anyway no matter what did it just would never work out.

    Apparently I am

    Lack toes intolerant
    You can't *burrrp* can't just post, just post anything you feel like morty, you just *burrp* just end up *burrp* end up hurting people's feelings morty I mean how, how would you like it if I said things that offended you morty?
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  3. #1763
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    was talking to chas mostert yesterday . he told me he has an old ute he calls the whore .
    i asked why and he said - mostertute .

  4. #1764
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    The yanks have elevators but we call them lifts because we're raised differently.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it
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  5. #1765
    Member Phildo's Avatar
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    I took a urine test at a hospital yesterday.

    My kleptomania is out of control
    One owner. Only driven gently on Sundays. Sold to best offer. First to see will buy. Reward offered for safe return. Coming soon to a cinema near you. Available for a limited time only.

    My waterbed broke this morning. Oh, I don't have a waterbed. Bugger.
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  6. #1766
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Had a drive through coffee today

    Not the first time I've frapped on the road
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  7. #1767
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phildo View Post
    I took a urine test at a hospital yesterday.

    My kleptomania is out of control
    Lives up to your reputation for taking the piss.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it
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  8. #1768
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    All the pringle ladies
    All the pringle ladies
    All the pringle ladies
    All the pringle ladies

    Get their hands stuck
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it

  9. #1769
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Got the weirdest txt response..."Imnot!:-("

    All I said was.. "usrs4t?"
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  10. #1770
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    My wife complained that her feet hurt, I said… You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet…she said these are the only feet I’ve got.
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast
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  11. #1771
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    bought some shoes from a drug dealer this morning .
    dunno what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day .
    Likes Deborah, okitoki liked this post

  12. #1772
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    My personal trainer said I should have a protein shake every night at 11pm. That's whey past my bedtime.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it
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  13. #1773
    Member Sauer's Avatar
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    Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.
    __________________________________________________ ____________
    "No, no. Not Sawyer like the valley. Sour like sweet and sour, only European"
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  14. #1774
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    As my father used to say "Never cry over spilt milk...it could have been whiskey"
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast

  15. #1775
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    I can't verify all 80's music news, but Tony Hadley recently left Spandau Ballet and I know this much is true.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it

  16. #1776
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    You know the corner shop doesn't sell them?
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast
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  17. #1777
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    Also the skinny jeans didn't work the way I was hoping.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it

  18. #1778
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    I've been beaten , badly....race tape.
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  19. #1779
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    Bunnings now sells rocket fuel. I saw it today in aisle 10... 9... 8... 7...
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it
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  20. #1780
    Member Crobbo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deborah View Post
    Bunnings now sells rocket fuel. I saw it today in aisle 10... 9... 8... 7...
    So lame...
    Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools. - Sir Douglas Robert Steuart Bader

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