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Thread: Today's Dad Joke

  1. #1761
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    I finally started writing a novel.

    My words are running off the pages.

    Liquid paper..?
    " you want a future..? reconcile your past....leave nothing to chance.."

  2. #1762
    Member Nudge's Avatar
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    Before I met your mother I used to have a girlfriend with only 9 toes. True story. Anyway no matter what did it just would never work out.

    Apparently I am

    Lack toes intolerant
    You can't *burrrp* can't just post, just post anything you feel like morty, you just *burrp* just end up *burrp* end up hurting people's feelings morty I mean how, how would you like it if I said things that offended you morty?
    Likes ReCon liked this post

  3. #1763
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    was talking to chas mostert yesterday . he told me he has an old ute he calls the whore .
    i asked why and he said - mostertute .

  4. #1764
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    The yanks have elevators but we call them lifts because we're raised differently.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it
    Likes Para045 liked this post

  5. #1765
    Member Phildo's Avatar
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    I took a urine test at a hospital yesterday.

    My kleptomania is out of control
    One owner. Only driven gently on Sundays. Sold to best offer. First to see will buy. Reward offered for safe return. Coming soon to a cinema near you. Available for a limited time only.

    My waterbed broke this morning. Oh, I don't have a waterbed. Bugger.
    Likes Para045, TROUBLE liked this post

  6. #1766
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Had a drive through coffee today

    Not the first time I've frapped on the road
    " you want a future..? reconcile your past....leave nothing to chance.."

  7. #1767
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phildo View Post
    I took a urine test at a hospital yesterday.

    My kleptomania is out of control
    Lives up to your reputation for taking the piss.
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it

  8. #1768
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    All the pringle ladies
    All the pringle ladies
    All the pringle ladies
    All the pringle ladies

    Get their hands stuck
    If something's right, it's right - even if nobody else is doing it. If something's wrong, t's wrong - even I everybody else is doing it

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