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Thread: Today's Dad Joke

  1. #1821
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    ladies , if you have a burning sensation when you pee , it is either
    urinary tract infection ,
    bushfire ,
    or someone is talking about your vagina .

  2. #1822
    Member Green Trident's Avatar
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    What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

    A tick lets go of you when you die.
    The only thing wrong with a perfect ride to work is that you end up at work.
    G T

  3. #1823
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    A dog limps into a bar and says...Ar'm lookin' for the man who shot ma paw.
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast

  4. #1824
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    At the end of the world’s longest strike the Egyptian president said work on the pyramids will resume tomorrow.
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast

  5. #1825
    Member Nudge's Avatar
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    Shamelessly taken from somewhere else....

    Young man dies today in a car accident when he was going to the cinema.


    He did not see the trailer.
    You can't *burrrp* can't just post, just post anything you feel like morty, you just *burrp* just end up *burrp* end up hurting people's feelings morty I mean how, how would you like it if I said things that offended you morty?

  6. #1826
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    The difference between 3 cocks and a joke ?

    Your mum can't take a joke .
    Likes Phildo, BusaSteve liked this post

  7. #1827
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    Yeah, not really a dad joke, is it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gippo
    cuntoxly

  8. #1828
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    Esp if its his wife he is referring to....or maybe not!


    The society for the prevention of accidents has stated that since most accidents happen at home it is advisable to move.
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast

  9. #1829
    Member bigsikkle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pnork View Post
    Yeah, not really a dad joke, is it.
    Can't take a joke ?

  10. #1830
    Member Phildo's Avatar
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    Got woken up at 3am by some psycho woman banging on my front door.

    It went on and on and on and on. For hours.

    She wouldn’t stop making noise, so eventually I had to get up and let her out.
    One owner. Only driven gently on Sundays. Sold to best offer. First to see will buy. Reward offered for safe return. Coming soon to a cinema near you. Available for a limited time only.

    My waterbed broke this morning. Oh, I don't have a waterbed. Bugger.
    Likes Para045 liked this post

  11. #1831
    Member Phildo's Avatar
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    I was at this car crash scene today but the guy died because paramedics couldn’t find out his blood type in time to save him.

    As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive, be positive” but it was still a tragic thing.
    One owner. Only driven gently on Sundays. Sold to best offer. First to see will buy. Reward offered for safe return. Coming soon to a cinema near you. Available for a limited time only.

    My waterbed broke this morning. Oh, I don't have a waterbed. Bugger.
    Likes Nudge, BusaSteve liked this post

  12. #1832
    Member Nudge's Avatar
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    Don't be sad because sad backwards is das. And das not good.
    You can't *burrrp* can't just post, just post anything you feel like morty, you just *burrp* just end up *burrp* end up hurting people's feelings morty I mean how, how would you like it if I said things that offended you morty?

  13. #1833
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    Someone came banging on our door at three am this morning!!....luckily I was already up practising the bagpipes.
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast

  14. #1834
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    3 out of 5 knife sharpeners don't take short cuts..
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  15. #1835
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Why did the Dad cross the road...?

    Simply to test his life choices....
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

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