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Thread: 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

  1. #2581
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gixxerguy View Post
    Had a vaguely positive couple of months and wasn't hating myself or life all day every day; then one blow and you're set back to square one, everything you thought was positive becomes negative, any exciting is terrifying. Back to feeling like I did before; before spending thousands of dollars on doctors bills and medications, back to that nauseating depression in your stomach that makes you physically ill with no respite in life in sight. Can we stop the world please, I'd like to get off.

    When you put ...Others Before Yourself...or compare yourself TO THEM you will always have to rethink the reason... why.

    Put yourself first....NOW......compare if you must.....but be sure to check the ego at the door.

    You are the best you that is in existence.

    In fact you are the only you.... the greatest the most frail...the toughest... the most thoughtful...the answerable to you, you.

    YOU ...in fact, are the only you.

    do with you as you see fit.
    " you want a future..? reconcile your past....leave nothing to chance.."
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  2. #2582
    Member Aufitt's Avatar
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    You were on your way home when you died.

    It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

    And that’s when you met me.

    “What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

    “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

    “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

    “Yup,” I said.

    “I… I died?”

    “Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

    You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

    “More or less,” I said.

    “Are you god?” You asked.

    “Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

    “My kids… my wife,” you said.

    “What about them?”

    “Will they be all right?”

    “That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

    You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

    “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

    “Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

    “Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

    “Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

    “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

    You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

    “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

    “So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

    “Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

    I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

    “You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

    “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

    “Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

    “Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

    “Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

    “Where you come from?” You said.

    “Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

    “Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

    “Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

    “So what’s the point of it all?”

    “Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

    “Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

    I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

    “You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

    “No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

    “Just me? What about everyone else?”

    “There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

    You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

    “All you. Different incarnations of you.”

    “Wait. I’m everyone!?”

    “Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

    “I’m every human being who ever lived?”

    “Or who will ever live, yes.”

    “I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

    “And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

    “I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

    “And you’re the millions he killed.”

    “I’m Jesus?”

    “And you’re everyone who followed him.”

    You fell silent.

    “Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

    You thought for a long time.

    “Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

    “Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

    “Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

    “No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

    “So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

    “An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

    And I sent you on your way.


    You're Welcome
    Last edited by Aufitt; 11-02-2017 at 11:12 PM.
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  3. #2583
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    Its nearly forty years since I began this career Aniversary 22 nd May. The world has overtaken me. I am not quick enough any more.
    Last edited by Graelin; 22-02-2017 at 05:17 PM.

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    Member azasmouch's Avatar
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    Graeme you cant beat yourself up over it, what a career you have had. When you were in the force you were there to basically serve and protect and thats exactly what you did. You moved on from that and continued in your 'protection of others' mode and trained countelss people in skills they would never had before and made them better people with greater opportnitiues. You're heavily involved in spreading the word of mental health and making it something people can actually talk about instead of being completely ashamed or worse.

    You said you have done your best in your last 40 years so what else could you have done? You did you best, period. How many people can even say that?

    It would be impossible to count the amount lives you have had a direct positive influence on, your reach is far spread.. you are one of the good guys. You need to remember that.
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    Asazmouch, thanks for that, been bad day, stupidly it seems I had a good day but the anxiety would not let go. Even though the day was great out with family. I read this above sitting at late lunch and it made me get a tear to the eye.

    I know what to do, I have learnt so much but it's fighting me. Did not take some sleep meds last night to see if I could make it, been awake since 2 am. Some times I feel great then it rolls in. I don't get anxious at all at work yet anxiety thinking about it! I do sometimes face dangerous situations and that doesn't worry me as much as a computer or photo copier issue, go figure! My family have bought tickets to go overseas in October, I can't buy one, too much uncertainty so will wait.
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    I've got in touch with my local bush fire vollie brigade. I've got the introduction to firefighting, bush fire fighting and on road driving certs from FESA/DFES. I'd love to get back into it, I miss being part of a brigade. Giving back is a big thing for me.
    The correct number of bikes to own = N + 1, where N is the current number of bikes you own.
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  7. #2587
    Member azasmouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graelin View Post
    ... I don't get anxious at all at work yet anxiety thinking about it! I do sometimes face dangerous situations and that doesn't worry me as much as a computer or photo copier issue, go figure! ....
    Graeme, if I told you to purposely not think about a red pen for the next two weeks what would you do? You would be forever 'thinking' of trying to 'forget' about the red pen. It's the same with your work, you already said you dont feel anxious AT work, but anxious thinking about it. You have programed your brain to think work = anxiety, so anytime someone brings up the topic of work you subconsciously relate the two and off you go.

    When I was in the military and saw the psychs all those times after our deployment/s I had a big problem with helicopters (still do but getting a lot better). Any time I heard the noise of one (and it didnt matter if it was a news helicopter flying over the city) I would relate it back and pretty much freak out. I forever thought to myself, "must not think of helicopters", so every time I heard one my brain said to itself "must not think of helicopters" but by doing so I was already relating it to the subject I was trying to forget (!) and down that same path I would go, every time. I got out 5 years ago now and although it's getting better there is still a range of shit on my mind; it comes and goes I guess. I dont really have an answer/fix for you, just hopefully provide another perpective.

    I spend the majority of my time overseas now with work but I really want to come down and grab a coffee with you when I am back next time.
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    I am new and found just like after the bush fire that my brain just stopped being able to function (with Linda having cancer) for around five weeks. After the fire I spent all day looking at the computer screen and nothing happened for five weeks until I went for help.
    Last edited by Graelin; 22-02-2017 at 05:08 PM.

  9. #2589
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graelin View Post
    Asazmouch, thanks for that, been bad day, stupidly it seems I had a good day but the anxiety would not let go. Even though the day was great out with family. I read this above sitting at late lunch and it made me get a tear to the eye.

    I know what to do, I have learnt so much but it's fighting me. Did not take some sleep meds last night to see if I could make it, been awake since 2 am. Some times I feel great then it rolls in. I don't get anxious at all at work yet anxiety thinking about it! I do sometimes face dangerous situations and that doesn't worry me as much as a computer or photo copier issue, go figure! My family have bought tickets to go overseas in October, I can't buy one, too much uncertainty so will wait.
    Ok little brother .....we have to have a plan... you are going to kick this uncertainty out of your life....

    Grab a hand to upgrade your tech skills... daughter? night course at college ? Interwbz..?

    Do whatever it takes to grab it by the horns.....don't feel lost it's not the way you are... doubt is one thing,fear is another.

    Both feet flat on the ground. OK? stand tall you have a lot of support.... Here on PSB..I'm certain there are people willing to help you upskill....maybe they don't know that you need their help..?
    " you want a future..? reconcile your past....leave nothing to chance.."
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  10. #2590
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    I am getting there but at my pace which at 61 years is too slow
    Last edited by Graelin; 22-02-2017 at 05:22 PM.

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    So. I can do computer courses.
    Last edited by Graelin; 22-02-2017 at 05:32 PM.

  12. #2592
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    They say water is relaxing so heading out to Toodyay now there is plenty there apparently!
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  13. #2593
    Member Sprint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graelin View Post
    I even dream of being in an ocean swimming with no land in site.
    Mi2C:

    What a great opportunity this presents, Mr G.


    Andre Gide, author, once said: "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time."


    S.
    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
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  14. #2594
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    Graelin I hope you had a nice trip to Toodyay and it helped you relax.

    I have been facing a lot of tough decisions recently - and some
    I must have been mulling over for more than a year. I felt horrible and shit and depressed not being able to make a decision. It was one of the love related ones. Now that I have made one, I feel sad about it and it is hard to work through the motions, but I feel it was the right one.

    I think your workplace decisions are very different ones, they are decisions which can be judged objectively. The trick with those is to note the pros and cons for either option you can foresee at the time and base your decision on that. Keep the notes for later reference. Then go through with the decision and see how it turns out. Don't second guess yourself, because the circumstances and your knowledge may change later, which may do for a different decision. If at a later stage you note things don't work, re-asses if your insights have changed from your original decision. Most times you will find they have significantly and therefore it might be time to change course. Plans are there to work towards a target, but new obstacles may pop up. Then is he time to find a way around the obstacle, not to stick your head into the sand.
    By keeping some record for yourself, why you made certain decisions at certain times will help to stop yourself from second guessing yourself.

    And yes, the pace at which decisions have an influence or outcome has changed a lot in this day and age - so you have more decisions to make every day than you did ever before. Or at least very different decisions, that seem abstract and complex. But try to break them down into pros and cons of either option and the 'right' answer will become clear.

    I'm happy to have a chat with you or a coffee if you want - even though I'm just a young whipper and won't be in the country for much longer. But sometimes just bouncing your thoughts helps.
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  15. #2595
    Member azasmouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graelin View Post
    Yes makes sense Asasmouch, I have worked under extreme work place psychopaths before, ones that yelled and screamed at everyone and got away with it. This place is not like that though but I feel that everything I do is under a microscope.

    I am new and found just like after the bush fire that my brain just stopped being able to function (with Linda having cancer) for around five weeks. After the fire I spent all day looking at the computer screen and nothing happened for five weeks until I went for help.

    I had only been working six weeks in this job when this happened with Linda. Every day was being told what a great transformation was happening in the workplace.

    It seems when family are in trouble that I go into overload. This coincided with trying to learn things and it was really not being absorbed and it then put me back in meeting my objectives. So now I feel useless. I am now told that I am not meeting objectives.

    I went from feeling great to feeling destroyed. I actually like my bosses, but I feel I can't win now. This kind of thing makes you double and triple check everything feeling so monitored and it micromanaging just does not work with me.
    I have sent you a PM mate. The performance management thing above is a two way street, if they say you arent meeting their set objectives they have to give you opportunity to rectify.

    Try and enjoy Toodyay, message me when you're back.
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  16. #2596
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graelin View Post
    They say water is relaxing so heading out to Toodyay now there is plenty there apparently!
    Well we were watchin the floods under the Toodyay River bridge when a real Darwinan jumped from the bridge into raging flood waters. Saw him surface then get swept away. He disapeard behind trees and then we heard yelling from him.

    So decided to go for lunch and saw police burning rubber leaving the station. Apparently he went missing but was found down stream and could not understand why the police were there.

  17. #2597
    Member azasmouch's Avatar
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    Thought this may be handy for people on here too, it's on our Dept of Vet Affairs website but accessible to anyone and applicable to many "Train your brain the way you train your body. Learn to control your emotions with this mental fitness tool :
    https://at-ease.dva.gov.au/highres/#...tional-control
    (pasting link from mobile so I hope it works).


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  18. #2598
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    Tried some of that Asasmouch

    I now have no enjoyment in anything I used to like, feel flat, can't go out on the bike, can't look forward to anything any more. I know people will say come on ride I just can't any more. So thanks but I just can't do it

    I can't see a future now. Everything I wanted to do has gone through the economic crisis. Training is my passion I love it but there is now no money or time for it. If I could do mental health first aid courses every week I would be happy. Employers do not see the need for this course so it's dead in the water.

    State government will only authorise essential training courses now, my courses I designed and supplied are not considered essential.
    Last edited by Graelin; 22-02-2017 at 05:37 PM.

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    Member Sprint's Avatar
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    Could/would you run a course for interested PSB'ers?
    I'll happily/gladly chip in a coupla hunge towards your fees, and would love to take a seat out back to participate.
    Take any step towards a lighter outcome Mr G... it doesn't really matter if its a bike ride or an opportunity to do something you see as +ve.

    S.
    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
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    Member DB-C50's Avatar
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    Grae,

    Just got back and have caught up with this thread.
    I feel for you brother, and have been through the same sort of workplace bullying that you're going through now and to be honest ended up feeling just like you are now.

    I have a coule of suggestions - whether or not they are achievable, I don't know:-

    1) Whenever you finish one of these "meetings", ask the person concerned to write down their concerns/instructions/complaints and email them to you. That way everything he/she says is also written down (and can be used against them) - if they refuse (which is likely because they don't wan a record of their bullying) suggest that you'll write up a summary of the meeting and send it to him/her just so you both have a clear understanding of the "issues".

    What I've found is that sometimes this forces them to back off considerably because they know they've crossed the line and that a permanent record of this is a threat to their little fiefdom.

    2) Many of the government agencies make counselling services available to their staff, although in many cases they're well hidden until you ask about them. Well worth making that enquiry direct to your HR management on a confidential basis and if they are available, book an appointment as soon as you can.

    3) Union - I know it's a bad word, and you may/may not be eligible to join one. Worth enquiringly/thinking about and even maybe having a chat with your local rep.

    4) Most bullies get off in the knowledge that their bullying is having a huge impact on their victim. I know it's really difcult but do your best to show that their efforts are not affecting you personally in any way. Counter their barbs with an "OK, I can see that, now let's write up an action plan to rectify that so we both have a clear understanding of what I need to do going forward" - it's amazing how suddenly they realise that they're not getting to you and back off.

    Joan and I both love you and I know just how shitty you must be feeling. Remember our phones are always on - I'll be in Adelaide for a few days from tomorrow, but can answer a phone from anywhere.

    Look after Lin, we're here if you need us.
    There is no better sight than a group of cruisers riding down the highway.
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