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Thread: 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

  1. #2741
    Member Kristy's Avatar
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    So itís analogy time...

    My sister always got handouts from my mum as she could never get her shit together Ė this merely perpetuated her laziness/lack of desire to get her shit together. If you get everything you need/want, why bother working for it, right? Intellectually my mum knew it wasnít helping her to give her all that she needed, but as a mum, she couldnít sit by and watch her struggle; my mumís caring and kindness was actually to my sisterís long-term detriment. However, my parents recently moved to the other side of the river and they were no longer nearby for my sister to drop by and borrow/use something, so she actually grew up Ė it was the best thing for her that they could have done.

    Iíve had a similar experience but in another aspect where I basically became my sister who had someone in her life who cared deeply and so put up with my shit and gave me chances Öuntil they simply couldnít anymore. It enabled me to continue on the path I was on that was destructive to each of us, and ultimately, for us. When it was over, reality check happened, once-clouded emotions became more clear and focused and similarly I guess, I too grew up. I guess the barriers I built over several decades started to fall down and I could see more clearly. The only thing is, unlike family, relationships arenít unconditional. It was an all-consuming experience for me but part of having the emotional cloud become less fuzzy is that the focus can change from being solely about oneself to being about the other person as well Ė wanting to make them happy, to be there for them, to help them in aspects of their life that they struggle with but you do well. I guess thatís part of growing up emotionally.

    Since we went our separate ways and under the circumstances I feel Iíve subsequently done all I can to communicate the things I previously couldnít. So in some ways itís a good thing that this happened because without it, behaviours may not have been able to be changed. Despite regret, if time and distance do indeed prove that itís irreconcilable now or in the future, there is a growing level acceptance, ŗ la the 5 stages of grief.
    "This is great. Not only am I not learning, I'm forgetting stuff I used to know".

    - Milhouse Van Houten
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  2. #2742
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    Self improvement takes a lifetime. Kristy you have the respect of many. Life's challenges, some that we had little control over place barriers on how we look at things. I can only talk about my personal growth from my own perspective.

    When trust is broken it took many years to get past that.

    On another issue, just been treated for Tendonitis and looking forward to getting this non stop pain behind me.
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