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Thread: 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

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    Fathers Day. I hope that it wet well for those here. There will be some Fathers that may for what ever reason be separated from their children. This can be a very emotional time for these Dads.

    31 years ago divorce saw enforced separation from my three year old. The years went by where access was made difficult. Then when she was eighteen I received a call. F is critical her partner deceased in car crash. Life support five weeks and unconscious three months. Shenton Park I got real familiar with. This time eventually saw me in severe depression. She learnt to be walk again and ride her horse. Many downs came in the form of drugs and this was a hell.

    In the last year I have done a lot to help Her and she is now doing well. Today the phone rang. “Happy Fathers Day!”

    “I love you Dad and you are the best Dad in the world. I can see things so clearly now “ she said.

    It has taken 31 years to hear this. A special day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by keys View Post
    Dear Mr G pull you head in and take a rest ,stop looking out for everyone else and concentrate on yourself for a bit 🙂👍👍
    Thanks, this was good advice. I will go back for some more tests on the heart. It's been pretty good during the trip.

    We arrived home this afternoon. Five and a half months 22,300 kilometers and the best of times.

    It was time to concentrate on just ourselves.

    In the last twelve months I have lost 13 kilograms mainly through diet changes that have been gradual and ongoing. Buying food at Mulimbimby markets, wow it reminded me of my Grandfathers tomatoes in his green house when I was four years old. Amazing how we have accepted supermarket food with no smell or taste. I enjoyed cooking veggies much less meat. Much less soft drinks and sugars.

    Nothing really drastic but I am feeling much better.

    Stress and anxiety has seen me in the past comfort eating. We have done lots of walking to waterfalls and natural attractions. Swimming in Lichfield under waterfalls, Lake Argyle swim at sunset with a beer and nibbles.

    Linda has really enjoyed this trip. She has her scheduled appointment with the Cancer Clinic on Thursday and we are sure all is ok.

    We both really needed this trip and thanks for the kind wishes over the last twenty months from you all on this thread.

    We will treasure the memories of freedom camping.

    Last edited by Graelin; 05-09-2018 at 07:28 AM.
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  3. #3063
    Member =Maz='s Avatar
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    So glad to hear(read) you sounding so refreshed.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter
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    So this Depression stuff.. Is it like a feeling of you think your having a win, getting ahead, doing really well, but when you check, thinking you'll be miles in front only to find yourself ... flat lined, haven't gone anywhere, not winning, can't seem to get ahead no matter how hard you try. ? Feel like your going in a circle only to end up back where you started.. I got TOYS (no time to use them) JOB WIFE HOUSE CHILD. I should be happy. Maybe if I had no DEBT, F-ed if I know.. What I do know is I don't have a feeling of happy.. Ive been crook the last few weeks so i havn't been able to scuba dive (being underwater is my fav happy place) so maybe this is what is missing.. PASS.. Don't even know why I'm here typing this. Took the bike out for a ride on Fathers day for the 1st time in along time. Felt good to get that out. (body didn't like it got off very stiff and sore.. ) Just feel somethings missing and i can't put my finger on it.. I want out of this hole i feel I'm in.. its getting to me..

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    Mate you can have everything in the world and still be depressed. There's no happiness to-do list with "Job/wife/house/child" or "Fame/fortune/health".

    But from your post alone I get the impression that you're more frustrated. You could be depressed too - there are many levels from mild to severe. And too much time frustrated can probably lead to depression or worsening of it.

    Without knowing any of your circumstances and purely from your post alone I'd recommend two things:

    Have a genuine conversation with your wife about how you are feeling. Talk about what you want from life. Find out what she's feeling and what she wants. See how you can help each other, work together to get to where you want to be. Give each other time to do the things you love. Broaden that conversation to family and friends afterwards. Maybe it's worth spending a little on professionals who can provide advice in the areas you want to be ahead in - they can help set benchmarks, goals, and track your progress. That sort of communication and understanding will help lessen the stress and frustration.

    See your GP. They'll give you a test and see if you maybe need a little bit of medical help to get you back to your best.

    That's the best advice I've got. Hope it's of help.
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    Igor

    Try this link for information on depression.

    Some symptoms may be caused by physical illness so a Dr can do tests to check.

    If you choose to go to a Doctor it is important to ask for a double appointment.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-fa...SAAEgKyKPD_BwE
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    I still find that social media is one of the largest contributors to the sense of missing out and the onset towards feeling down all the way to full blown depression.

    Where once "Keeping up with the Jones's" was just a basic reference to getting one up on your neighbours, either by having a nicer garden/house/car, suddenly you have access to all your friends, strangers, celebrities and everyone in between from the comfort of you own house setting you unrealistic hopes, dreams and goals to measure your own life by. No wonder so many feel like they are not getting all they can from life. You only need to answer to one person, which is yourself.

    Additionally I feel that we are in too much of a rush to either self diagnose, or professionally be diagnosed as depressed. Like so many things once you've given it a name, you've taken ownership of it and, it can potentially, be an enabler for your condition.
    Trying to think of a wise and sincere signature quote, but the only words that leap to mind are, "TITTY SPRINKLES"
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    TurboR1

    I do think so many people have access to how others are doing and it creates unrealistic expectations?

    The need to have an expensive car, motorcycle, jet ski or what ever causes financial pressures with payments sounding affordable until servicing, insurances registrations come in the same month. Advertising creates a need, we can easily jump on board.

    Sometimes the situation causes depression. A job I had was causing anxiety and depression symptoms. My Doctor was spot on. Change your situation and you will get better. I resigned and the need for anxiety pills stopped that day.

    It is not always easy to find the reason and often a good psychologist can help to identify this.

    The advice Keys (see above) gave me was similar to what my psychologist gave me. She asked "when will you have done enough?"

    This was in relation to charity work etc that I was involved with. I then rode my motorcycle to the border and back just for me. Found a way to do a lap of Australia with the caravan just for myself and my wife.

    There is no one size fits all with this.

    Each of us may find a way and what works for one does not necessarily work for another.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TurboR1 View Post
    Additionally I feel that we are in too much of a rush to either self diagnose, or professionally be diagnosed as depressed. Like so many things once you've given it a name, you've taken ownership of it and, it can potentially, be an enabler for your condition.
    Please be careful in sharing this opinion. Think how it might influence others and what the potential consequences might be.

    ...I had a whole other paragraph where I italicised the word "you" a lot to prove a point, but it came across as dick-ish even though I tried incorporating humour using a glib comparison with the light-hearted topic of Prostate Cancer.


    The very best thing I did was to go see my GP. He was very understanding and set me on the path to receiving appropriate treatment. Don't worry he gave me a test to make sure I wasn't faking it. My girlfriend of the time encouraged me to see him and I will be forever thankful to her for that - which I'd tell her if she didn't contribute to my situation by later ghosting me after FOUR years... My family were able to be less-stressed too because they know that I'm in the right hands.

    Plus the money. I see my GP, he checks to see how I'm going, ticks my form and I send it off for my Income Protection - meaning I don't have to work while I recover. I mean, why wouldn't you?

    I agree entirely with you about social media. But that's the tip of the iceberg. Computers in general. Office work and employers bolting you to computers. Check the stats out on those careers and depression.


    Mate if your post was in any way an insight to how you're feeling about your own situation then I'd really recommend just going - it's the least-worst thing that you could do. And if it isn't an insight then lucky you with your opinions on things that don't affect you
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    https://youtube.com/watch?v=hER0Qp6QJNU

    But also we are hard wired in our dna as tribal....we don’t need social media to tell us people we know are doing better socioeconomically.

    Look at what we do for enjoyment hunting, gathering, exploring, competing.....not much has changed.

    Depression isn’t new.....it’s just been given a name.

    https://www.scientificamerican.com/a...ed-to-connect/
    "Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it's a beautiful day"
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    I've been watching a lot of videos on YouTube by Jordan Peterson lately. Especially his lectures about resilience and responsibility. He's a brilliant Canadian Clinical Psychologist and a Professor at the University of Toronto.

    “How people treat you is their karma; how you respond is yours.”
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    “How people treat you is their karma; how you respond is yours.”
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    Jimmy Barnes on the telly tonight. What a journey he has gone through. I remember as a child being dragged into Glasgow, begging not to be taken, then struggling to breathe. Seeing the pollution on the tv tonight and seeing we are the same age, now I understand why I felt like I was suffocating.

    So lucky my parents put us on a boat in 1965 to come here.
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    Sometimes when you think everything is fine within yourself...it isn't.
    Seems strange to me how close to the surface shit stays, even when you think you've got t sorted.

    Recent events have set me back and I find retirement from bikes looming as an option...real or not the brain keeps going back to it as the proffered occupying thought.

    I may not have realised that fear was, in fact, the driving force behind my previous emotional state and it seems to be the active ingredient in the resurgence of these shitty feelings.
    The funny thing is that once I'm on the bike I'm not afraid...but, when off it, I'm back at the point where I don't want to work on the bikes or look at them again and thoughts of riding them fill me with anxiety which lifts my anger and shortens my temper...things which I don't like and had worked hard to control after the trigger of almost 2 years ago
    Maybe that's another contributing factor...it's exactly one month to the anniversary that I hate remembering...I don't know.

    I'm not sure why I'm posting this here to be honest but it's probably that same feeling from before that I don't know who to talk to about this shit...my family have their own issues related to this going on, no doubt, and the idea of burdening them with further worry or concern about my issues isn't something that appeals as a good option for me.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter
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    Maz

    Sounds like you need to have a chat with someone Maz. There are lots of options to help you with this.

    Riding is harder for me now as well. When on the bike it is fine but much harder to get on board than it used to be.

    There are ways to manage the thoughts and it takes time to learn these techniques.

    When we make changes it is often because the pain of remaining the same is more than the pain of the change.

    Yes there is pain of a kind in change, we resist it. This is very normal.

    I am available to meet and chat today if you have time.
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    Thanks for the PM mate...much appreciated.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter

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    Quote Originally Posted by Graelin View Post
    When we make changes it is often because the pain of remaining the same is more than the pain of the change.
    Yep, this resonates.

    On a different tangent (unrelated to Maz's post), change can also be from a life-changing event involving a kick up the arse and the resultant strive to be a better person for you, and for others.

    =Maz= I know it's unlikely I can be of any significant help, but if I can, let me know
    Last edited by Kristy; 05-10-2018 at 05:32 PM.
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    Maz is not alone in the waning enthusiasm for riding. I have not admitted this but the questions I have asked myself are:

    Is the Black Dog Rides getting me to sub consciously feel that "I must have a cause or reason to ride?"

    So I tested this by riding by myself August 2017 for "no cause" to the Border and back, 1,477 Km in one day. This is not exactly bring back the passion either.

    In one year I did 78 days face to face as volunteer for BDR and also coordinated the Avon Valley Ride. Too much in hindsight.

    The question that is not answered is. Do I do this because I want to? Or because I have to? Did things change along the way in how this is answered? Most probably.

    Being tail end on BDR rides, Mental Health Liaison on the Around Australia Ride. I had to deal with what happened near Geraldton with no official support for myself on that ride. My friend was the victim. The support that I had for myself came from "PSB" and I remain so greatful to everyone of you. As you know we had to carry on after this and ride to Sydney. It was dammed hard thing.

    I have gone for professional help it was required.

    I have decided that as I now work in mental health on the front line and run mental health first aid courses. It is not healthy to make this my hobby as well so I will reduce my committment to BDR. I will do rides if I feel that I want to, not because I have to. There are plenty of other riders and volunteers to fill my space.

    So Maz yes you have me admitting what I have hidden. Bikes have been my life since I was 14. I can not walk away but will reduce involvement.

    I have ridden twice since arriving back from six months away so it is ok. I think the social aspect of bikes is also good for me, this forum, getting out meeting people. In one recent ride I met people from my past out riding that was great to reconnect.

    Health issues with Lin over nine years now bear on us. We now value time away in the caravan and we have committed to getting away about once a month for a long weekend.
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    So after a few years of the MotoGP being the only bike related thing in my life, I had to start riding the bike again due to necessity after one of the pit bosses at work drove into my car.

    It was weird jumping back on the bike after so long. Felt like a new rider (partially due to completely fucked tyres which should have been replaced back when I was riding every day). Having it be the middle of winter didnt help either.

    One of my biggest concerns was that it'd bring back a lot of old memories. Its why I couldn't bring myself to ride. I had shut out basically everything and everyone from the last... 8 years? Theres a lot of people I don't see or talk to anymore, and hobbies that I shelved. I basically became recluse. If I wasnt at work, I was either at home or at my girlfriends house.

    And it did bring back those memories. That feeling of joy riding gave me. Being the social butterfly that I was. Most of them arent that bad, but others I just have to sit there and know I put myself in that situation.

    Some days I wish I'd just gone ahead with things. Others I sit there and think about how I have a girlfriend who loves me (10 years next year), we own our own house, we are living comfortably, and that gets me through. I still think about going back on antidepressants a lot though. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.

    9 years of nightshift and I can't get a good nights sleep at a normal fucking time anymore. Just needed to clear my head a bit.
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    This was a hugely influencial talk in helping me beat depression from a severe back injury. If you are suffereing depression then I hope it helps you as much as it did me.



    Keys for me was dont let the ahaa moment go and visualising what the future will be and who I want to be through meditation.
    Ninety nine percent of the people in this world are fools. The rest of us are in great danger of contagion.

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