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Thread: 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

  1. #3101
    Member wonky's Avatar
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    Hey GsxInShed are you about. I heard on the news this morning there were 5 suicides in Karratha over the Christmas new year period . Just checking if everything is ok up tjere?
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  2. #3102
    Member =Maz='s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    I got to the point where I thought I was really introverted and that was why I didn't like people and resisted going out. I've since realised it wasn't the introversion, it was just the place in which I found myself (and let myself get to). Sure, people still give me the shits, I'm still me - a cynic at heart - and so disrespectful, selfish cunts still give me the shits, and always will, but I am enjoying the company of select people.

    I think I'm pretty lucky in that I don't really have colleagues/friends/family etc., that are oxygen thieves so that helps, it's just general cuntiness that I hate. Broadening my social horizons has really helped me realise I have it pretty good - friends tell me of cunty relatives, oxygen thief friends etc - I don't have that. It's also helped me realise that so many things I was insecure about, well I really didn't need to be.

    WRT to the fakery - they're everywhere, I just hope you don't have to deal with them on a daily basis, and if you do, you can find a way to remove them from your life/better manage the effects. I've always lived by the whole "live your own life, and don't be a cunt/affect anyone in the process" mantra. To which I would add, "don't let the bastards drag you down". Once I see something I can't unsee it, so yes I'm aware there's cunts out there, I just do my best to keep to myself and hope our paths don't intersect.

    Yes, I'm pretty sure exercise has helped me. I was swimming last year and then had to stop - reflecting upon that time I was feeling pretty good. I've gotten back into it but may have to stop again soon until I get something sorted.

    I can understand depriving yourself of things you love/used to love, and also knowing the track is a difficult place for you to be. There can be an element of self-sabotage in it and the feeling that you don't deserve to be happy, but in your case it may be a little more complex. There could also be an avoidance factor - I do the avoidance thing when I can't deal with something. There is also a very social element to the track and motogp - so it may well be linked with the isolation. Fair enough if the track/motogp no longer pushes your buttons in a good way, but if it still does, it may just be like the socialising - you have to force yourself to get back into it. But you may also just be redirecting your passions/interests into solo riding and pushie riding. The bike riding passion isn't there for me like it used to be but I have redirected it into other things.
    I'll read through what you've said and digest it.

    I've signed up for my course today...maybe there will be some strategies in there that will help...I hope so anyway.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter
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  3. #3103
    Member Kristy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by =Maz= View Post
    I'll read through what you've said and digest it.

    I've signed up for my course today...maybe there will be some strategies in there that will help...I hope so anyway.
    Good luck with the course. Happy to be an ear if it helps.
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  4. #3104
    Member Gothchick's Avatar
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    I have to admit that I am a retreater. The second things get a bit unhappy, I still reset and go solo. Itís hard on my husband, who wants me to be happy and wants to support me but I just completely shut him out, along with the rest of the world.
    Just before Christmas, things went a bit pear shaped. I guess finding out that you have a biological family, after being on your own for 40+ years, will do that. There were so many feelings and Iím not great at feeling them. There was fear. There was general confusion. At first, I thought these people were fruit loops and wanted no part of it.
    Combine that with end of year at work and Christmas bullshittery and I wobbled. Cue, avoidance. No going out, no dinners with hubby, no gigs. None of the things I usually love. Everything just seemed so hard, so it was easier to just not participate. I can switch into that mode within hours.
    But Iím still hanging in there. Trying to do small things.
    I agree that it is very difficult to find your way back from that place...and sometimes, do I even want to?
    Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
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  5. #3105
    Member =Maz='s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothchick View Post
    I agree that it is very difficult to find your way back from that place...and sometimes, do I even want to?
    This ^^^
    And if it was just about me, meh.
    It's the effect I have on those around me that prompts my concern I guess...whether or not I care for myself, at the moment, doesn't change the fact that I do care for others in my life and it is this that drives the desire to find a fix/repair/strategy for the want for isolation.
    Like you, I guess it's easy to resort to retreating...can't be easy on my wife who is just confused about what's wrong and wants to "Fix" it. Thank you for giving me that insight and showing me that I'm not alone in that practice.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter

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    I can relate to the above posts. At one stage a few in here tried to get me out for a ride but I just could not do it.

    Many of you know me on here some have met me. I have worked in emergency first response for fires and crashes. Had to go in and catch declared dangerous dogs when even the owner wonít go near it. Faced armed people last one two years ago.

    Add the Toodyay bush fire then after this Linda being ill and a lot more and suddenly I was struggling. It took me four hours Myers to buy a shirt. I just could not face it I was hiding in the change room as I tried to go back out and try again.

    How do you feel when you look at all the emergencies you could do and you canít even buy a shirt. Hard to explain.

    Well I had to face it. I did not back down those four hours I had to see it through and came home with my shirts.

    Life has changed. I take a simpler path. I am happy just to be for now.

    I have been working on a Blog a lady n USA is publishing on Saturday. It is on work place bullying and she looks at Gratitude this time.
    Last edited by Graelin; 11-01-2019 at 06:33 PM.
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  7. #3107
    Member Kristy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by =Maz= View Post
    This ^^^
    And if it was just about me, meh.
    It's the effect I have on those around me that prompts my concern I guess...whether or not I care for myself, at the moment, doesn't change the fact that I do care for others in my life and it is this that drives the desire to find a fix/repair/strategy for the want for isolation.
    Like you, I guess it's easy to resort to retreating...can't be easy on my wife who is just confused about what's wrong and wants to "Fix" it. Thank you for giving me that insight and showing me that I'm not alone in that practice.
    It is easy to submit to the default being depression/isolation etc. Why? Because it's easier - it feels like the path of least resistance and it takes energy to fight what seems like your destiny. I remember when I was living down in Boyup Brook in 2005/06 - I remember the depression creeping back in, and I almost willed myself to give in and accept my fate because it took less energy to go back down that path than it did to fight it. Doesn't mean the depression/isolation path is the right path - for you, or for those you love and those who love you; it's just the easier path. Don't get me wrong, I'm no shining, bright, eternal optimist now (I hate those people ) but I have been to those places and am now back enjoying life when I never thought I would, though it's not without its down periods.
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  8. #3108
    Member =Maz='s Avatar
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    And here I am complaining.
    Nothing remotely as hard to deal with as your list Graelin
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter

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    Quote Originally Posted by =Maz= View Post
    This ^^^
    And if it was just about me, meh.
    It's the effect I have on those around me that prompts my concern I guess...whether or not I care for myself, at the moment, doesn't change the fact that I do care for others in my life and it is this that drives the desire to find a fix/repair/strategy for the want for isolation.
    Like you, I guess it's easy to resort to retreating...can't be easy on my wife who is just confused about what's wrong and wants to "Fix" it. Thank you for giving me that insight and showing me that I'm not alone in that practice.
    I too, have concern for the people around me. Iíve been a mother for almost 22 years, yet my children donít know that I go through this. I have always hidden it from them. Because for them, I will pretend, fake it, make myself smile, try to be Ďnormalí.
    Nobody else gets that allowance.
    My husband does cop the worst of it. He tries to understand and I think he does but he is very social, so that has an impact.
    Plus, it is hard to explain to him how I feel, when most of the time, I havenít got a clue myself. He is my best friend and we do spend a lot of time together, so it definitely impacts him. But there are times that, even though I am conscious of that, I just canít pull myself back.
    Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
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  10. #3110
    Member =Maz='s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothchick View Post
    My husband does cop the worst of it. He tries to understand and I think he does but he is very social, so that has an impact.
    Plus, it is hard to explain to him how I feel, when most of the time, I havenít got a clue myself. He is my best friend and we do spend a lot of time together, so it definitely impacts him. But there are times that, even though I am conscious of that, I just canít pull myself back.
    Fucking BINGO!!!!!!!
    Thank you for sharing.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter

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    Member Gothchick's Avatar
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    No problems 🙂 Iím always just on the other end of a PM if you need it, too 🙂
    Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
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  12. #3112
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    I barely want to talk to myself about this shit...but thank you.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter

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    I also literally had no words to explain it because I couldn't even make sense of it so there was no way I could articulate it to someone close to me, who was also being affected by it, and no I couldn't pull myself back either - I felt powerless :/ But if there is a shining light, as deeply buried in whatever I was buried in, I escaped. And those who know me, know I was buried pretty deep.
    Last edited by Kristy; 11-01-2019 at 02:17 PM.
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    Thanks for checking on me
    Two coworkers have the pain of discovering the result of suicide in town at the moment.
    For me total withdrawal and denial is my only solace..I see in that response I am not alone.

    Sent from my Redmi Note 4X using Tapatalk
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."
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  15. #3115
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    Quote Originally Posted by GsxInShed View Post
    Thanks for checking on me
    Two coworkers have the pain of discovering the result of suicide in town at the moment.
    For me total withdrawal and denial is my only solace..I see in that response I am not alone.
    Good luck Greg...I can only hope for healing for everyone involved.
    All I've got and more for #294...RIP Chris Adley
    #158...RIP James Thompson

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryanoceros View Post
    Wooohoo !! Fucking 10/10 ride. Cheers for that Aari, you really conditioned my sphincter

  16. #3116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
    I also literally had no words to explain it because I couldn't even make sense of it so there was no way I could articulate it to someone close to me, who was also being affected by it, and no I couldn't pull myself back either - I felt powerless :/ But if there is a shining light, as deeply buried in whatever I was buried in, I escaped. And those who know me, know I was buried pretty deep.
    I have not had very, very dark days for a long time. And some of my days, weeks, months....were very dark, black.
    During the worst of it, a PSBer, a stranger from this thread, reached out and talked me into accepting his help...I still donít know how. That was a turning point for me. Without him, things would have been very different.
    He is a good man.
    Iím glad to hear that you made it through and can look back on that time for what it was....a hard time...and be happy in the fact that you are no longer there.
    I guess there are always ups and downs....just got to hope that we donít fall right to the bottom of the hole. I think you learn through time and experience, how to navigate your own rollercoaster.
    Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
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  17. #3117
    Member Tim the PM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothchick View Post
    ... I guess finding out that you have a biological family, after being on your own for 40+ years, will do that. There were so many feelings and Iím not great at feeling them. There was fear. There was general confusion. At first, I thought these people were fruit loops and wanted no part of it.
    Ö.
    Kym if you haven't already, maybe talk to Danielle, she went through all this years ago, I'm sure she would be happy to talk to you

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    Quote Originally Posted by wonky View Post
    Hey GsxInShed are you about. I heard on the news this morning there were 5 suicides in Karratha over the Christmas new year period . Just checking if everything is ok up tjere?
    make that 6 as of yesterday.
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  19. #3119
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    So here we are.
    I would like to say thanks to the people I have shared my thoughts with and in doing so , hopefully have helped a little along the way.
    I have recently been given to thinking about the past ,as you tend to do at this time of year.
    Feeling calm and collecting my thoughts I noticed that my thoughts are pretty damaging to my outlook at times.
    So in that vein my inner voice now takes a back seat.. I feel less stressed almost happy at times.
    I think it is called ,in these enlightened times..living in the moment.
    Some have spoken of this idea in this thread.
    I avoid stress-shy away from aggressive people-minimise judging myself and others-don't dwell on failures...So far I works for me
    The main stay is consistency...avoid highs and lows- one step at a time.
    I had a outcome in mind.. when I posted the 'New Years Resolution ' thread, and there were a few surprises. ;-)
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."
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  20. #3120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothchick View Post
    I have not had very, very dark days for a long time. And some of my days, weeks, months....were very dark, black.
    During the worst of it, a PSBer, a stranger from this thread, reached out and talked me into accepting his help...I still donít know how. That was a turning point for me. Without him, things would have been very different.
    He is a good man.
    Iím glad to hear that you made it through and can look back on that time for what it was....a hard time...and be happy in the fact that you are no longer there.
    I guess there are always ups and downs....just got to hope that we donít fall right to the bottom of the hole. I think you learn through time and experience, how to navigate your own rollercoaster.
    Yes, there are good people on here - that's why I will always have a fondness for this place of online keyboards and real-life wheels.
    Yes, I'm glad I'm no longer in that place. While I lost something during that time as I had to part ways with someone, I also gained something by forcing myself to dig my way out once the realisation of what I lost, hit - I actually felt like I lived in 2018, for the first time in 10 years.
    Last edited by Kristy; 12-01-2019 at 06:23 PM.
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