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Thread: It stops with me!

  1. #241
    Member BusaSteve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chew View Post
    First up I find it interesting that someone can interpret "It stops with me" as an insinuation of guilt?

    As for familiar people, drinking to access and being a bit wary, females quite often are wary in familiar places with familiar people because "boys will be boys".

    I wish this thread had!...with the OP!!
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast

  2. #242
    Member Skut's Avatar
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    I'm all for sticking up for and protecting my child. But I don't think aggressively shouting profanities at a 7-8 year old is a particularly healthy solution.

    Different scenario if an adult or large teen is the aggressor; but if you have to go postal on a child to make your point then there are some issues there.

    Back on topic: David Leyonhjelm bullys and makes derogatory sexual comments to a female senator (don't care what you think of SHY, it's still not on) in a fucking house of goverment - and is not censured and refuses to apologise. AND Ex footballer Hall makes some pretty disgusting sexual comments on air about a woman undergoing an obstetric procedure (at least he got canned) and all the other guys in the booth laughed along.

    Yeah, this shit NEVER happens anymore, does it?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by BusaSteve View Post
    I wish this thread had!...with the OP!!
    Difference: No-one is FORCING you to read it.
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  3. #243
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    seems we are getting to the root cause of this.....
    bullies
    have a need to enforce their way...their law...onto people who don't want to be a part of it
    Bullies
    Gain advantage by the use of fear responses in their victims.
    Bullies
    Invade the space of people going about their business
    Bullies
    Like to think they are right and have the right to control others
    And when the force exceeds the ability of the victim to cope, the abuser can't turn off and sometimes it ends in murder.....
    You don't need to be a killer to kill.
    does it...?
    stop here.
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."
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  4. #244
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    Maybe [ going back to the OP ], we need to realise that the type of young [ and older men ] who rape/kill whatever, were once the little kids who bully/abuse whatever now.

    How many times do we read about a rape/murder/mass shooting and it's always looking back at the bad guys life and reading he was a "loner/misfit/bully, poor at socializing" even at a young age. Just like the little shit that bowled over my daughter. We need to stop lavishing attention on the average or the high achievers, they'll be just fine, and look out for little Johnny who doesn't seem to be like all the other kids, and HELP them.

    Ask my now grown up daughter about going to the nightclub or whatever on a Saturday night? Not a chance, full of angry/violent drunks who hurl vile abuse because she wont have a drink or whatever, and there will be a small percentage in that crowd of guys who will go one step too far and do something terrible.

    Call it social engineering or whatever, but we need to work much harder and identify and help these youngsters, much easier and cheaper to help them at 7 than fix broken men at 25.

  5. #245
    Member chew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davidf View Post
    Your method? I'm all ears.

    And apply this method directly after witnessing your daughter smashed to the ground from behind by a piece of shit.

    Do you approach said shit and say " well, that wasn't nice, do you want to talk about your feelings right now, like some cake maybe? "

    That piece of shit needed educating, right there and then, and he got it. Otherwise it's like punishing your dog when you get home and find the couch chewed up. The dog doesn't understand why he's being yelled at or kicked.

    Can't belt the kid, but he was made very aware of his error, at the moment he made it, I believe the lesson got through.



    One thing I hate is "hindsight". People love to give you the "calm and rational" answer to an issue, never what their response/answer is at the moment in time when stuff actually occurs. I'm a dad. My child just got hurt. I responded as I saw fit and don't regret it for a millionth of a second.
    There is no over riding "method" as every situation is different.

    All I was saying is that what you did may not have had the effect you believe, he may have been thinking about stabbing you in the face while you bawled him out.

    I just beg to differ that you educated the "piece of shit", mostly what you did was react in a way that made you feel better about what happened as a protective parent.
    They hung a sign up in our town "If you live it up, you won't live it down"-Tom Waits
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  6. #246
    Member AZAZL's Avatar
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    The response is the sort of crazy social reaction that helps create monsters.

    yes? no? discuss...

    where is that guy with the 848 when you need him.
    We have a gene for gossip.
    We have a gene for superstition.
    We have a gene for jumping to conclusions and making fools of ourselves
    but we have no gene for science.
    Michio Kaka on "Buttpower"

  7. #247
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skut View Post
    I'm all for sticking up for and protecting my child. But I don't think aggressively shouting profanities at a 7-8 year old is a particularly healthy solution.

    Different scenario if an adult or large teen is the aggressor; but if you have to go postal on a child to make your point then there are some issues there.

    Back on topic: David Leyonhjelm bullys and makes derogatory sexual comments to a female senator (don't care what you think of SHY, it's still not on) in a fucking house of goverment - and is not censured and refuses to apologise. AND Ex footballer Hall makes some pretty disgusting sexual comments on air about a woman undergoing an obstetric procedure (at least he got canned) and all the other guys in the booth laughed along.

    Yeah, this shit NEVER happens anymore, does it?

    - - - Updated - - -



    Difference: No-one is FORCING you to read it.
    Stop bullying me!..
    Smoke me a kipper...I'll be home in time for breakfast
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  8. #248
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    I still carry a grudge for the long dead 6th grade teacher that had me sit in a storeroom for three days till I made a chicken noise..

    I went back to see him when I was in yr 11 at a high school nearby...he clearly didn't know who I was....

    The grudge has hurt only me.

    It is said...'people think about you a lot less than you think they do.'
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."
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  9. #249
    Member Skut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BusaSteve View Post
    Stop bullying me!..
    Really?

  10. #250
    Member dwillia's Avatar
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    nah you're just a cock
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  11. #251
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZAZL View Post
    The response is the sort of crazy social reaction that helps create monsters.

    yes? no? discuss...

    where is that guy with the 848 when you need him.
    Doing 58 second laps of barbagallo raceway in a group 1 trackday. A true inspiration
    Rest in Peace

    #294


    Quote Originally Posted by GreenMeanie View Post
    A note for CM's. Don't be fucking girls. You can pass anything. Just fuckin' "Nail It". Take ya panties off you faggots.
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  12. #252
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    Quote Originally Posted by dwillia View Post
    nah you're just a cock
    if you can't argue with someone intelligently, don't argue at all..
    Rest in Peace

    #294


    Quote Originally Posted by GreenMeanie View Post
    A note for CM's. Don't be fucking girls. You can pass anything. Just fuckin' "Nail It". Take ya panties off you faggots.

  13. #253
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    Quote Originally Posted by GsxInShed View Post
    I still carry a grudge for the long dead 6th grade teacher that had me sit in a storeroom for three days till I made a chicken noise..

    I went back to see him when I was in yr 11 at a high school nearby...he clearly didn't know who I was....

    The grudge has hurt only me.

    It is said...'people think about you a lot less than you think they do.'
    The difference is that the teacher was the aggressor and you were the victim.
    There is a problem that the aggressor is rarely punished but can cause serious emotional stress on the victim.

    I will share this interesting statement to think about ("Homo Deus" by Yuval Noah Harari):

    "For the first time in history, more people die today from eating too much than from eating too little;
    more people die from old age than from infectious diseases;
    and, more people commit suicide than are killed by soldiers, terrorists and criminals combined."


    Taken into context, far more should be spent on curbing aggressors very early in life.
    Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: "Wahoo!! What a ride!"
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  14. #254
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    Started a new job a couple weeks back. There's about 100 electricians on site, majority of them older men (50+). There's several young women working in the crews too.

    A couple of the women walk past our bus the other day and one of the blokes (he'd be nearly 60 years old) in our crew yells out, 'HEY, WHAT DO YA RECKON BOYS? TAKE EM INTO THE PINE PLANTATION AND RAPE EM?'

    It gets an awkward laugh from the guys on the bus, but I try to subtly call him out on it.

    Me: Hey Nollsy, what if that was your daughter and you heard someone say that?

    Nollsy: Yeh, but it's not my daughter!


    Next day on the bus again...


    Nollsy: (Announcing to our bus) I was sitting behind those girls on the bus trip home last night, I thought about smelling their hair!

    By that stage, I'd decided to be more forceful.

    Me: Shut the fuck up Nollsy you creepy cunt. Open your mouth again ya whinging cunt and you're fucking gone.

    The guys on the bus start laughing at him. Nollsy hasn't said anything since.
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  15. #255
    Member Skut's Avatar
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    Passing through some old music clips on the Toobs and an old fave reminded me of something.

    My uncle thought the song was a about a hooker at the time, I remember him telling me as it played on the radio. A few years later he beat his wife. I had a busted ankle at the time from a bike crash so all I could do was hobble to the neighbours to get someone to stop him. One of those women who came to aid was also a victim of abuse. To think it's unusual is complete BS and the stats prove it despite any anecdotes (real or imagined). Some parts of culture need to change and progress because you can't just cut off the nasty parts without addressing the problems. Prevention is better than cure - be it health or crime.

    Ironically, many years later I saw Vega live with someone who worked in the sex industry - who saw plenty of physical abuse from those who thought it was okay because of what she did. Some even painted obscenities on the road in front of her home.



    BTW Mr Bean your "dislikes" are telling - any actual words on the matter? Or would I be accused of bullying again?

    Dunno; pretty fragile place these days (and that is a WINK thing in case anyone's' feelings are hurt)
    Last edited by Skut; 27-07-2018 at 11:02 PM.
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  16. #256
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    I was listening to a well known radio show the other day after work.
    They were discussing if you should tell the members of a couple if you thought their other was toxic.
    The telling comment came the female in the group.
    She said " Everything will be fine with that couple.Till he turns on her." She was almost yelling to be heard.

    The point was that they all agreed to tell a mate if in their opinion.....the partner, male or female, should get out before it's too late.


    Might I add..Do not ask for answers when a question is yet to be phrased.
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."
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  17. #257
    Member BOFH's Avatar
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    I've deliberately stayed out of this thread after starting it, looks like there's been plenty of discussion happening. I haven't been reading the comments. I expect that the MRAs have been calling me a cuck or whatever.
    My response to the sad MRA types: watch Nanette on Netflix!
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  18. #258
    Member AZAZL's Avatar
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    Do you think you are a "cuck"?
    Without reading comments why would you think others would feel that way about you, or indeed care.
    We have a gene for gossip.
    We have a gene for superstition.
    We have a gene for jumping to conclusions and making fools of ourselves
    but we have no gene for science.
    Michio Kaka on "Buttpower"
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  19. #259
    Member GsxInShed's Avatar
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    Hi Bofh...
    You do understand that the fight or flight response is in all of us..don't you..?
    I hope your reasons for starting this thread are altruistic..not for the voyeur in you.
    I guess it's the bandwagon mentality inspired by online media that is the driving force.
    Although we have only met on here , and maybe one PM...my opinion of you will not change.
    I could never pick a human 'wolf in sheeps clothing.."
    Just as I don't go looking for them....
    Predators are everywhere...
    " Imagination is the seed of life..."

  20. #260
    Member Deborah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZAZL View Post
    Do you think you are a "cuck"?
    Without reading comments why would you think others would feel that way about you, or indeed care.
    Maybe he's seen someone challenge the way women are treated or talked about in various parts of this forum, the internet and the world in general. Maybe he's listened to, actually listened to, the lived experience of many women navigating the world. And then seen the reaction they get from many dudes when they try to articulate it:
    Dudes who insist that figurative man-bashing is a bigger and more urgent threat than jokes around derision or actual harm to women.
    I have started threads about such things, and some dudes' contribution to the thread was to insert jokes about bashing your female partner.
    Other dudes stepped in to one-up the joke.
    One or two dudes stepped in to support me, and they copped some flak for it.
    By and large I was told to get over it and understand the culture.
    A culture that made a user on here think it was completely normal to make a comment on the prospect of sex with teenage girls, in a thread where a member was talking about his teenage girl.

    She's someone's daughter/sister/wife/mother

    Let me shorten that: She's someone

    A culture where dudes can comfortably state with authority that women are generally psycho bitches, manipulative, etc., as if "but she started it" and "but what about - " accounts for or sweeps away those regular things I or other women feel like we have to do, or supress doing, to get through those tricky situations made worse by the fact my gonads are on the inside of my body.
    This isn't the myth of the loser 15yr old in his mom's basement. These are functioning adult men out in the world that women also inhabit.

    Not accusing you of this AZAZL, just putting in my 2c as to why the OP might be cynical about the reaction to him as he questions the status quo.

    I love a few dudes, like many and wish no specific harm to the others. That's why I know some can and really should do better - to think otherwise would be to give up on men, and I'm not ready to do that. Thanks to the OP for starting this conversation, for one thing, it has helped my identify my dude-allies. I've got many in my life but never hurts to have a few more

    PS If you were or are the male victim of a crime committed by a woman, I believe you. I will listen. This thread might not be the best place, but the issue has been raised here and you can post elsewhere or PM me and you'll be heard. I won't make it about me and my experience. I can listen and consider and believe.

    To everyone else, if you've read this far - We can do this, if we want it. A high tide raises all ships.
    Regrets
    I've had a few
    But then again
    Sit down, this is going to take a while.
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